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February 2014 Moms
Magnolia+Mama
member
Annoying things our moms/MILs do...
Magnolia+Mama
member
My mom sends an e-mail to everyone she knows on a weekly basis wishing my baby a happy birthday. Today's e-mail included every photo I texted her this week, with captions. One of which said that my daughter "does not like to exercise" because she's making an angry face lying on her play gym (I sent the photo because she was gripping one of her toys...that was the milestone I was sharing!). WTF with the creepy weekly birthday emails? And the weird captions? To everyone she knows?
This may not get to everyone but it DRIVES ME NUTS! Please share so I know I'm not the only one who wants to punch their mom on a weekly basis...
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Re: Annoying things our moms/MILs do...
She asked me about 4 times, I said no, like DS, she will not get one, and she will be just fine.
A week later, DH asked me to clarify why we don't use them, I explained.
Fast forward to a week later, infront of me MIL asks AGAIN why. Thankfully DH shut her down this time. But seriously, get over it!
(This is the same woman who gave DS fruit slushie as his first taste of food when I wasn't looking).
And we just moved to the same city as her, so she drives by our house every day on her way to work. Worst. Ever.
My mother is convinced that I'm feeding DS too much no matter what and that he's going to be fat. Super annoying.
My MIL has no social cues. She calls both of my kids puppies (uh, why?) and will talk for my LO. Most commonly she makes him "say" things like "that's my mommy. she takes such good care of me." Yep. I do. And you're BSC.
I am fine with him stopping by whenever but told him he has no right to be mad if he doesn't call first... jerk.
MIL loves to buy those boys clothes - great. We love how generous she is, but sometimes she gets the clothes completely wrong (too cartoony, too loud, wrong size/season, actually girls clothes, etc). I try to exchange the clothing fails, but it's rather difficult to since she removes all tags before giving them to us. Not like removes the price, but the full tag.
When I tried to exchange said-fails at BRU last week, the older cashier woman asked why there weren't any tags. I explained, and she asked, "Who does that?" My mother-in-law, that's who.
When I tried to explain to her that he doesn't wear that size anymore, he's bigger than that, she just says "but he's a preemie!" And doesn't seem to understand that just because he IS a preemie doesn't mean he's still wearing preemie clothing.
She's tried to have this argument with me a few times. Oh how awful, the oppression and prejudice towards middle aged Caucasian Christians mom.
That is my MIL. The inlaws spent a WEEK at my house and MIL kept going on and on about how confusing my diapers are. I use the bumgenius snap cloth diapers and they go in like regular disposables but with snaps. It's not hard. At all.
I have realized that she is just dumb. If I remember that at all times, I can stay somewhat sane.
You're absolutely right, I apologize if I offended! I got caught up in my MIL hate-on, lady drives me crazy.
See what?!
She also buys a ton of clothes, which is great. What isn't so great is hearing her talk about how hard it was to buy one non-pink outfit since she knows we don't want all pink. Like ten minutes of "it was SO HARD not to buy pink. SO HARD to buy one yellow dress!" (Out of 12 outfits, 1 not being pink was hard.) I'm grateful but it's annoying! And really, dd doesn't need the two tiaras and the drawers full of extreme pink frilly. Frilly makes diaper changes harder!
It really bugs me to hear Dd called a princess. I know it's just a word and all that and that I'm overreacting, but I try to be really aware of what I say to my kids (like "good job! I'm proud of how hard you worked!" Vs "you're so smart") and since I know 90% of the compliments little girls receive are about their looks I try to say other things to dd... Which is silly now since she's so teeny. The princess thing just bugs me!!
Oh well. I will be raising her and teaching her how to ID trees and hike and catch bugs and snakes and do science experiments. Being called a princess by one persons won't mean she things girls are only good for looking pretty.
Exactly! I have no issue if that's what Dd wants. It just feels like it's being forced on her right now... Which is a bit silly since she's so unaware of what she wears right now.
She also did this with DH growing up and he hated it.
When DS2 was born, MIL watched DS1 (at our house!) and they had a great time. DH and MIL had a talk about visiting and how we don't send DS1 there for overnights or for her to babysit (she's 30 minutes in the opposite direction of anything we'd be going out for a night for) because they have nothing for kids there and we'd have to haul so much. He told her she's *always* welcome to come visit, give us a call and see if she can drop in later that day when she'll be close, we'd love to have her come to our house and watch the boys if/when we go out, etc. It sounded like a great heart-to-heart conversation and they'd worked through lots of past issues.
That was 9.5 weeks ago. Haven't seen or heard from her since.
Bump Unofficial Glossary
I'm not familiar with the person Rosie mentioned, but the articles I've read have said that praising intelligence can make the child frustrated when things DONT come easily. Like if the child assumes he or she is smart, then everything should be quick and easy.
But if you praise the effort, you recognize hard work rather than ability and help your kid see that the work is what matters and help your child develop a drive to work hard... Rather than a drive to "show off" how easily things come to them.
I'm explaining it poorly because no sleep, but that's the basic idea.
Since I used to get frustrated so easily I want to try to help my children learn to work hard and not quit so it seems worth a shot to recognize hard work/paying attention/focusing well/trying and not quitting rather than just "you're so smart/the best soccer player ever/best whatever"
Sunday we were at my in laws' house for dinner and MIL asked if she could hold the baby while he was sleeping. Ok fine because he's just sleeping on my chest. She takes him, pokes him to wake up, puts him in the cradle she used for my husband and his brother, takes a photo, and promptly returns him to me, but at this point he's crying.
Seriously lady?! You did all that for a picture?! And all she could say was " he looked so cute in the cradle!"
J. Jackson
Feb '14 March Siggy Challenge: Face Slaps
J. Jackson
Feb '14 March Siggy Challenge: Face Slaps
J. Jackson
Feb '14 March Siggy Challenge: Face Slaps
Well today she could not sleep so she shows up in my room at 4 am, wakes me up to ask when did K sleep so that she can take over when he wakes up. I say a couple hours ago so she thinks he can wake up any minute hence just stands over his swing waiting for him to wake up. Awkward! I am half asleep in my room with my mom just standing over LO waiting for him to wake up, jumping at every grunt or snore he makes.
When I finally get annoyed and tell her he could sleep for another two hours or 30 mins it's hard to predict and that she should go back to her room, she just decides to lay down beside me in bed as going back to her room in a two bedroom apartment is sooo much work. She now is hogging on my comforter, complaining why the fan was on and constantly shaking as of course she is not very comfortable in MY bed. Hmm...ok so your sharing my bed which I can deal but she is literally also getting up every other minute to see if he is awake. Emphasis here- she is on my bed and using my comforter while I am trying to sleep #%&@$. My temperature has risen and I'm one short move away from yelling but I refrain as I think once he is awake it would be a good break to sleep a few hours.
Of course LO wakes in another 30 mins and she rushes to feed him and look after him. Great! Which means I can sleep? Wrong! She is doing all that right in my room, feeding him, singing him to sleep, rocking on my rocker which squeaks a little,diaper changing, play time. She also particularly woke me up twice while diaper changes to make sure baby's poop color was not too green!! (DH was asleep in the living too so she does not want to disturb him. Hello DH is sleeping outside as it is impossible to sleep with a baby in the same room! Duh!!)
At 7 am I finally tell her to let me BF and I will call her once done. I feed LO and put him to sleep finally only to have her come back check up with me at 8 am. Argh!!!! Mom score 10, sleep score 0!!
I love that she is there to help but once I woke up we had to sit down and have a little chat about room boundaries and how she needs to help so that at least one of us is getting sleep.