Who wants to describe those first few nights?

sasky · March 2014

I remember from DS1 being freaked out and feeling like I had no idea what I was doing. I was still recovering from delivery, learning how to nurse, and on very little sleep (obviously).

I know it's going to be different with twins. I just can't imagine dealing with all that and then 2 babies. I'm sure you eventually get a rhythm going, I'm just wondering if anyone can talk about what it was like at first, how you dealt with it, and if you have any tips? The closer I get to the end the more freaked out I'm getting!

Taricha · March 2014

My babies were born early, vaginally, no nicu time, and came home the next day. The nursery wasn't 100% done. I had a panic attack when I walked in unsure of what I was going to do now with both babies (and a toddler). We let them sleep next to each other in a co-sleeper next to the bed all swaddled up as they were 5 & 6 lbs. As mine were 36 weekers, they literally spent their first month just sleeping. I had an alarm that would go off every 3-4 hours to make sure they ate, but then they would just go right back to sleep. Now that they are 12 weeks they are awake off and on during the day.
If yours are sleepy babies, take advantage and nap with them or take a nice long shower and try to feel human again. Also, if you haven't, join your local parents of multiples group. It is a great resource. The first year is rough.

ballygirl · March 2014

These girls were my first, so I when through all of what you are describing - I had no idea what I was doing, was still in a bit of shock having 2, and trying to figure out how to nurse - it took 10 days for my supply to come in, so I was pumping like mad and supplementing. I had an unplanned csection at 38 weeks and the recovery was much harder than I thought it would be. It was hard nursing because any pressure on my stomach at all was very painful so I had to position them so that they didn't touch my stomach at all. I was beyond exhausted both from the lack of sleep and recovery from surgery. I know some people seem to bounce back from it pretty quickly, but it took me 3-4 weeks to get back on my feet and have enough energy to even minimally function. Honestly, the whole first 2 months are sort of a nightmarish blur in my memory. I don't remember much. I was so tired and sore. The babies slept a lot but not necessarily at the same time, so the whole "sleep when the baby sleeps" was hard to follow. I had a hard time getting them to stay on the same sleep schedule until they were about 3 - 4 months old and even now, their naps don't line up together on some days.

I felt like I spent every waking hour either nursing or pumping. Tandem nursing didn't work out so well for me which was a disappointment. In the early days, they were so floppy that it was really hard for me to hold them both and they would fall off a lot and I would have no free hands to reposition them, so then they would get angry and it often ended in a screamfest. Also, because they were often not on the same schedule, they were not hungry at the same time so it was hard to get them to feed at the same time. I usually nursed them one at a time and supplemented at night because I never quite had enough supply. Supplementing at night also meant that someone else could help me - usually DH or my mother would take a few feeding shifts for me. Tandem nursing got a little easier after about 4-5 weeks. Then it got hard again when they got bigger because they got in each other's way and they would kick each other and wiggle around and we'd all get frustrated. I gave up on nursing all together at about 3 months and it made my life much much easier, although I was a little sad about it.

I had a lot of help from my mother those first few weeks and I don't know how I would have done it without her. I highly recommend getting daily help from either a family member, friend or to hire someone. I really couldn't handle being alone with them for any length of time until they were about 3-4 months old. Forget about doing anything else other than just surviving. I literally just sat on the couch all day and fed babies, rocked babies to sleep, changed diapers, repeat. I didn't cook, didn't eat much, didn't shower or get dressed on a regular basis, the house was a disaster. This is where a good mother's helper was indispensable. After my mother left, I hired someone to come in every day to give me a chance to nap, shower, eat, and generally take care of myself for a couple hours.

It took me a long time to get used to the double meltdowns. In those early days, the only way to stop the crying was to feed them or hold them and walk around with them. So if they were both crying at the same time and I was alone with them, things could get out of control very quickly. I had a very hard time calming 2 babies at once. This didn't get easier until about 4 months when they started reacting to my voice and my face and I could just hold one and sing to the other to calm them both. Overall I would say that the first 3 months were probably the most stressful months of my entire life. I don't want to scare you, but I'll be honest, they were really tough. I didn't really enjoy it at all and cried every day. It did get better though and things are pretty good now at 5 months although I am still hopelessly sleep deprived. The babies are more responsive and independent, and I think we'll have a pretty fun spring and summer this year

4legsRbest · March 2014

Noooooo! Please don't I am already freaking out!

Just kidding! But the thought of it, and the hope that these babies are born healthy and safe, consume my every waking moment.

I posted on BFing earlier reagrding my concerns - that is my biggest hurdle, I think, how and I going to BF both in the MOTN??? I just keep picturing a 3 Stooges episode. Over and over and over again

Of course any widsom is appreicated!

gault530 · March 2014

My twins were born really early and they came home at separate times, so I was able to ease into it, however something I've learned is to prepare everything you can before you go to bed. I would lay out the diapers, wipes, extra clothes, boppy's, etc each night before I went to bed. It is so helpful to have everything ready in the middle of the night. I actually still do it to this day.

Also, if you're a coffee drinker, make sure you set your coffee timer.

macchiatto · March 2014

My experience with my boys sounds pretty similar to yours with your son. I was exhausted, overwhelmed, emotional, learning how to nurse, and so. tired. I also had a wicked case of baby blues, possibly PPA. I hope that if I have another, it would be easier the second time around sicne I'd know that I've done this before and can do it again. Hopefully things will go smoothly for you guys!

caden · March 2014

The very first nights my babies probably slept one hour. Maybe 2. They were 35weekers who came home with me. They had no awake time during the day and I thought they'd sleep like that at night too. Nope. They thought night = party time. We got almost no sleep. We would feed and then hold them for what felt like forever but was probably 30 min until they finally got tired. Then repeat an hour or 2 later. The best thing we ever did (aside from hiring a night nurse) was do shifts where 1 person fed both babies and then switched off for the next feed. This might not have worked the first few nights because my babies sucked at feeding until they were 2w old but it's worth a try.

caden · March 2014

Oh and for jammies - do the kind with zippers, if you use footie PJs. Those snap footies are the damn devil at night.

PurpleIris30 · March 2014

Well, since they were in the NICU for 4 and 5 weeks, my experience was a little different. By the time they were discharged, they ate every 2-3 hours, had reflux due to their prematurity, and one was still on oxygen and all the associated apnea alarms that would go off whenever the electrodes got loose (which seemed like all the time).

But even though we weren't getting much sleep and the evening cluster feeding was exhausting, I was just so damn glad to be home after living in a hospital for 6 weeks, to have both of them discharged finally, to have both alive and breathing and gaining weight . . .

Those first few nights weren't easy (I worried not having all the monitors and not knowing their oxygen levels), but they weren't that awful. I'm not trying to be all sunshine and puppy happiness, but our NICU experience gave me a profound level of gratitude for getting to experience our first time home as a family. Even if we didn't sleep much at all, it was a really happy time for me.

As for tips, we wouldn't have survived without doing one up, both up for those first months. I also BF and was working really hard with nursing and pumping to establish a good supply, so it was a huge help that my husband did all the diaper changes at night and just handed them to me to nurse.

jeephappygirl · March 2014

The first week I had my brother & SIL to help. The 2nd DH. After that I have mainly been onmy own . I also have 2 1/2 yr old DD. Anticipating and preparing things like clothes & snacks are helpful. We kept a white board with who ate when, how much & dirty diapers. Mine were born at 36w4d. Were 5 lbs 5 oz & 5 lbs 10 oz. No Nicu time. We did and still do one up both up during the night. During the day I let them eat on demand. I pump and feed in bottles. LC at the hospital was not helpful at all for me. Both had lazy latches. Now with DD I find pumping easier than nursing 2. I would often nap on the couch while holding one baby. Made me feel like I was bonding a bit more and less of a machine. DH was right there to make sure everyone was safe and I got a little extended sleep. It really wasn't that bad. I did let the house get way behind and at almost 5 months pp it's still a mess. I figure soon enough they will occupy themselves and I can start cleaning again. It's not easy at all but we aren't struggling all day every day.

hayleydeee · March 2014

Honestly, those first few nights are such a blur that I don't think I could describe them to you with much detail anymore.

Time will seem irrelevant. You'll be up at all kinds of odd hours, and asleep at odd hours (both day and night). But you probably remember that from your son's birth. Try to relax, yes there will be 2 babies, but you've done this before! I was so much more relaxed with my twins than I was with my first. Yes, I was exhausted, but mentally it wasn't as hard. You know how to be a parent already.

All you can do right now is prepare your house as best you can (maybe make some freezer meals and stock up on videos for your son). Worrying will drive you crazy, an it won't change anything. Only time will tell how things will play out with your babies and their needs. You'll be fine, and so will they!

BabyCarryingVessel · March 2014

I'm with hayleydeee and not sure if I can recall those moments properly but I do remember lots and lots of tears, newborn snuggles and freaking out because I didn't have any nursery water for formula. I have always known that you can just boil water, but obviously my brain didn't think of that.

xladybassx · March 2014

My experience was a bit different because my girls didn't come home until they were 62 and 67 days old. I slept on a recliner in the nursery for the first two weeks because I was terrified one of them would stop breathing in the night. I woke up every time one of them made any kind of movement or noise. I barely had any sleep at all...it was pretty rough. I was just so happy to have them home and healthy though, so it was completely worth it. One piece of advice if you aren't already a coffee drinker, plan on becoming one! I know its not the healthiest, but I wouldn't have survived without caffeine.

24karat · March 2014

The first few weren't too bad for us. The worst it got was around day 5 when my milk was still refusing to come in and one baby refused to latch to anything...bottle or boob. Once he figured out how to eat things got better. There will be rough patches, but it won't always be that way.

And there are no exceptions to the "sleep when baby sleeps" rule when multiples are involved. You will need it. Don't think otherwise.

bumpuser924057 · March 2014

I had one twin in the NICU and one rooming in with me at the hospital, which was really tough. I barely slept at all because I was either nursing DD, attempting to pump, or hauling my tired ass across the floor to the NICU to attempt to nurse DS (and fail, and then feed him via syringe and finger). Over and over and over. Then DD and I were released and DS had to stay another four days, so I was at home nursing non-stop and trying to pump in between AND doing my best to interact with DS1 too. By the time I got both of them home, I was so spent that I honestly don't have much of a memory of that time. I do know that I was smarter about things this time around and started right away with a "bedtime" for all of us at midnight - lights off, everyone in bed, when a baby wakes up nurse them in the dark quietly - and that was a HUGE sanity saver.

Jules_Shamblin · March 2014

This is all really helpful but at the same time really terrifying.

ntdane · March 2014

My twins were born at 36 weeks 6 days via c-section, no NICU time. They were a little bit sleepy the first couple of days in the hospital but wanted to eat every couple of hours during the day and longer stretches at night, which was nice. We sent them to the nursery at night so I could rest and the nurses brought them together when they needed to eat.

It has been easier for us with the twins than with DS1. He was gassy and fussy, but food fixes everything for these guys. The twins are 6 weeks old now. They aren't quite on the same schedule as O has a tongue-tie we just got clipped and he needed to eat more often. If you intend to BF I think just being prepared to spend a lot of time nursing will help. Mine liked to cluster feed in the evenings, but then they slept a little longer at night. Having someone there who can either help entertain your older child or get you water and snacks is really helpful. It's tough but not nearly as bad as I expected. As a pp said, it's almost like I'm surviving on some sort of mom adrenaline. I'm only getting 1-3 hours of sleep a night but I don't feel bad once I'm up for the day. I'm waiting to crash hard.

I think that no matter what your situation is, you can only do what you can and you just make it work. It's not easy or pretty, but I do believe it will get better over time.

yinyang124 · March 2014

Survival mode. We are all here, mostly sane and mostly coherent. You will be incredibly stressed in the moment, not so gracefully push through any hardships you face because you HAVE to and then forget about having to bounce your kids for 4-5 hours every night just so you could get one solid hour of adult time because either you have PTSD-induced amnesia or you have become totally absorbed in the awesomeness that is twin motherhood. I think we all agree that the MoMs motto is "you just do it." Good luck!

Want a personalized experience?

Who wants to describe those first few nights?

Re: Who wants to describe those first few nights?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards