Canceled FET... need some reassurance :(

ikrystal · March 2014

I just got off the phone with my IVF nurse. I have made the decision to cancel our FET cycle in April. It seems too soon to try, especially after we lost Conner and Ben in January. I thought I was ready for it (or as ready as I was ever going to be). But the more research I did, the more I realized my body just isn't ready for this. My body needs time to heal. There is an increased risk for preterm labor/miscarriage when babies are born so close together. I figured one more month would be better, and if I changed my mind and needed more time, I can always push it back again. I'm just so sad though - if we had done the April cycle, it would have given me something positive to focus on. Conner and Ben's EDD is in May, but we would have delivered in April. And then there is Mother's Day in May. If I had done April, I would have had a pregnancy test the day after Mother's Day - which is coincidentally Conner and Ben's EDD. I went back and forth trying to figure out if I was doing the right thing, because I wanted to bring a baby home so badly. I guess I just need some reassurance that I did the right thing.

ToriGirl2014 · March 2014

(((hugs))) - only you know when the time is right. Don't second guess yourself. If you think you need time to heal (whether physically, emotionally, or both), then take all the time you need!

jlworden710 · March 2014

So many hugs ❤️

megrae12 · March 2014

((Hugs)) hun. Only you can make the decision on when to try again. Taking this time for you, sounds like a wise choice.

Unknown · March 2014

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blackbird818 · March 2014

Big ((((HUGS))) hun!! I'm sorry you even had to make that decision. But you need to do what's best for you physically & emotionally. It sounds like you were very conflicted and giving yourself some more time may be what you need right now. Be kind to yourself.

BluEyedGirl26 · March 2014

It sounds like you made the best decision for you. Take all of the time you need to heal physically and emotionally. (((Hugs)))

MoreThanSparrows08 · March 2014

So many ((hugs)) for you. Like other posters have said, only you can determine when you're ready to try again. There's nothing wrong with taking more time to make sure you're ready - emotionally, physically, etc. Take care of yourself.

buggirl72 · March 2014

Big (((hugs))).

Your EDD is going to be incredibly hard whether you are pg again or not. Take all the time you need to heal both physically and emotionally.

alm288 · March 2014

Give yourself and body time to heal. I think finding something positive to focus on is a nice idea. Maybe a day at the spa, a weekend getaway with DH or something to look forward to? Sending (((hugs)))

MrsG80inTN · March 2014

I'm sorry you had to cancel, but sounds like you made the right decision for you. no one else can tell you the right time. Hugs.

jbasore1123 · March 2014

I'm sure it was a very hard decision to make but try to trust your heart.

luciddreamer106 · March 2014

It's ok to take all the time you need. Your EDD will be hard whether you are pregnant or not. I think that planning a mini trip or a special day to look forward to would be a good idea. ((hugs))

TVLily · March 2014

Sending you lots of (((hugs))). You definitely need to take care of yourself and heal emotionally and physically. Trust yourself and just evaluate where you are next month. Just know it's totally ok not to be ready.

ikrystal · March 2014

Thank you all so much. I just feel better knowing that there are people who understand and support me. I'm not sure what I would do if it weren't for communities like this. I think we are going to book a trip to Bermuda or the Caribbean in the meantime. We're getting closer and closer to what would have been our c-section date and I just need to be out of the house, alone with my husband, focusing on positive things (while also focusing on our dear angels). The more I thought about it, the more I wanted this time to be focused on Conner and Ben anyway. I want this Mother's Day to be theirs, and their EDD to be focused on them - not a pregnancy test. They deserve that.

shandorfml2 · March 2014

Hugs sweetie...

Flowerstar1023 · March 2014

I so agree with the above posters, especially about the importance of taking care of you, planning other things to look forward to, and the realization that May is going to be hard regardless of the outcome of an FET. It sounds like you made the absolutely right decision to give yourself more time to heal emotionally and physically. Hugs to you. Now go book that trip!

stefuge · March 2014

This is absolutely the right decision - if you aren't ready, you aren't ready. We technically could have come off the bench this month, and realized we weren't ready either. That giving my body more time to heal and giving us more time to grieve is really what we need right now. While we wait a few more months, I am focusing on being positive, getting healthy, losing some weight, allowing myself time to focus on Colton and how much I miss him, and knowing that when we try for another baby, we will be absolutely ready. Being pregnant again will be completely consuming, and for me, that doesn't feel fair for either Colton or for another baby. He deserves time where we are focused on him and allowing us time to heal, just as another child deserves our full focus, and we aren't at that place yet. I know this was a hard decision, but I'm proud of you for knowing what you needed, and giving yourself more time. ((hugs))

jenkellen · March 2014

I want to send you (((hugs))). What a difficult decision to make, but it seems like you did the best thing for you emotionally and physically.

kflynn81 · March 2014

((Hugs))

Denise91980 · March 2014

I am so sorry you have to go through this. You know yourself and your body best. Take some time to care for yourself as hard as it is.((hugs)) to you!

co baby1 · March 2014

I am so sorry you are facing such a huge decision! It sounds like you have weighed all of your options very carefully and made the right decision for you/your body. Big ((hugs))

taberbtb · March 2014

What a huge decision to make, but I think if you don't feel ready yet then you are making the best decision for you and your family. Enjoy your time with your H. Big ((Hugs))

KristinDMiller · March 2014

You truly are a great person and are doing things for the right reasons. Trust your instincts are right. If you wait another month it may ease some pressure off of your mind too. You can never go wrong doing what you feel is right. I have a great feeling things will all work out.

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Canceled FET... need some reassurance :(

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