Intro- new here

dseres87 · March 2014

I suppose I've been lurking here long enough and am ready to introduce myself to you ladies. My son was born on February 14th at 9:17pm at 23 weeks and 2 days. He lived for 10 hours, and passed away the next morning at 7:20 am. He was just simply too tiny to live here on Earth, and died of prematurity. His birth, and subsequent death, was a huge surprise to me. I had a totally normal pregnancy, and was happy and healthy the whole time. On the evening he was born, I started having some pain, which I ultimately figured out were contractions. The labor was so fast and intense I ended up going to the hospital by ambulance. I was not bleeding at the time. When I got to the hospital, I was already 10cm dilated and fully effaced. I was rushed to the delivery room, and started pushing. They had no idea why I was in labor at this point, but just that the baby was coming. My water broke while pushing, which then revealed a huge amount of blood. At that time, they figured out I had placental abruption, despite having no risk factors for this at all. My cervix then went back to 4cm, and the baby's heart rate became inconsistent. We opted for an emergency C-section. Because of this, my sweet Brayden got to spend 10 hours here on Earth. I held him in my arms as he took his last breath. There was nothing at all wrong with Brayden, he was just too little to live outside the womb. I have since had some labs and testing done, none of which have revealed why I experienced placental abruption- it was truly a random thing.

Along with grieving the loss of my sweet baby, I am still just in absolute shock over the whole situation. It just doesn't seem real that I worked all day that day, even went to dinner with my husband, and then, in a matter of 10 hours, had my son and also lost my son. How does this happen in a normal pregnancy?! (I know the answer, but it's still difficult to process). Have any other mommas lost their babies due to placental abruption? What was your experience on any subsequent pregnancies? I see MFM in a couple weeks, but have generally been told I will be considered high risk next time and will have more ultrasounds. I am so sad to have to join this group, but hope I can both find comfort and comfort others here.

schulme2 · March 2014

I am so sorry to welcome you here and so sorry for your loss of Brayden. I unexpectedly went into labor with my twins at 25 weeks and before I knew it they were out. No clue what happened or why. I wish I had some advice to give you for future pregnancies. Please try to be gentle on yourself as the shock of it all will continue to sneak up on you. Big hugs to you!

milb11 · March 2014

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet boy Brayden. Like you, I had a completely normal pregnancy. We went to the hospital because I hadn't felt him kick all day. When they did the ultrasound they couldn't find a heartbeat. When I delivered (vaginally) the doctor couldn't find anything wrong with him. She did notice a clot on my placenta and suspected placental abruption. We found out a couple weeks later with our amniocentesis that Elijah had Down's Syndrome. The doctor can't tell us what caused his heart to stop beating, the placental abruption or the Down's. She equated it to a which came first, chicken or egg, scenario. She did tell us that both are completely random. I hope you find comfort on this board. There are a lot of great women on here who understand exactly how you feel.

nohalo21 · March 2014

I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your son Brayden. We lost our daughter at 18 weeks. I had been having issues all through out with spotting and bleeding that they believed was from the previa. Upon delivering they did notice that there a hemorrhage on the placenta. They estimated she had passed about 2 weeks prior, right around the time I had a bleed that had cleared itself up shortly after. We will be meeting soon with the MFM. My OB has told me that I will deal with them from the start and continue throughout. I am curious to hear what the MFM has to say at the appt.

I never thought, even with the issues I was having, that it would result in my baby being born asleep. I know that we may never have all the answers, no matter how hard we search for them.

Jellybean71514 · March 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss of your son Brayden. The women on this board are a wonderful strength of support for as much or as little as you may need while you go through this. I lost my son Joseph 2 weeks ago, I was 22 1/2 weeks along- unlike you my water broke without any contractions but much like you my pregnancy was perfectly normal and I too spent that day at the mall and even had lunch with a friend that I also play out in my head often - when I came home that night I felt the water and was so confused ... in a matter of hours I was told there was no way to save him and had labor induced for birth the next morning. I am still in a fog and still numb not understanding how this happened- they say it may have been a infection and that led to the water breaking and then my cervix opening but there is no way to know how I could have prevented this except more check ups in the future ... I am actually still waiting for the lab reports to confirm it even was a infection. Right now as much as I try to understand it, I am trying to get on a path of acceptance to help myself grieve. Whatever you feel though, let yourself feel it, whatever you need let the women here try to help with comforting words or just to listen ...that for me has been invaluable knowing they understand my pain. My thoughts are with you and sending hugs your way xoxo

Xath · March 2014

***ticker warning***

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your sweet baby boy. Not having definite answers as to what happened or why is one of the hardest parts of the process. I hope you find the support you need here.

stefuge · March 2014

I am so sorry for your loss of Brayden and that you are joining our club. No one wants to be here, and I wish I didn't have to welcome you to the board.

I too had a placental abruption - this is our story: Our son Colton was born till at 32 weeks back in August. I noticed I wasn't feeling him move and by the time I got to the doctor, they could not find his heartbeat. By that point, I had started having contractions, and once I got to the hospital, and they popped my bag of waters, realized I was bleeding pretty heavily. I had to have an emergency c-section because I was losing so much blood, and they determined I had a complete placental abruption. I never felt pain or noticed any bleeding from it before getting to the hospital and they were not able to determine what caused the abruption. My pregnancy up until that day was completely normal, healthy, no issues at all, as you said. It is completely shocking.

We have had testing done, including genetic testing, and the cause is still unknown, which is really hard. My doctor has assured us that since no cause was found, and I have none of the other risk factors for an abruption, my chance of having another is only slightly elevated, (1.5% versus 1% initially according to her). I would be considered high risk with a future pregnancy and would have ultrasounds every 4 to 6 weeks, and bi-weekly non-stress tests and weekly ultrasounds from 30 weeks on (or sooner if so needed). The idea of trying for another baby was very scary at first, but we have decided we want to try for another child. Due to my c-section we were told we had to wait at least 6 months before trying, and were encouraged to wait a whole year. This is also giving us time to really be ready and want another baby, as well as time to really mourn the loss of our little boy. That wait period Is different for everyone, and a good question to ask your doctor, as you may not need to wait as long.

Again, I am so sorry to welcome you to the board. These ladies are strong, supportive, and so encouraging and while our situations are all different, we can relate to what you are going through. Please know we are here whenever you need us, and if you would like to PM me, feel free.

Mrodriguez898 · March 2014

I am so so sorry for your loss. Truly, I was amazed when I too had such a normal weekend to all of a sudden rushing to the hospital.
It is something no one should experience so early. I will keep you in my thoughts

jonahsma · March 2014

I am so sorry for your loss of Brayden..

You will find great support and comfort on this board, the ladies are wonderful and have helped me through the hardest timeS and they will do the same for you . ((HUGS))

ikrystal · March 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. I didn't have a placental abruption, but I did lose my twin boys at 22.5 weeks due to Chorio. Like you, I had a total normal pregnancy and then all of a sudden I was in the hospital, 2 cm dilated. It doesn't make any sense. My sons died in my arms and my husbands arms. There was nothing we could do for them. I do know that pain. I know you will find support here.

dseres87 · March 2014

Thank you for all the support and kind words. It's promising to hear of subsequent healthy pregnancies. I always knew I wanted to have children, but never realized just how much I would love them until I had Brayden. It makes me so anxious to be pregnant again, but I know I will have to wait due to the C-section.

I had never even heard of placental abruption until I experienced it myself. I can't believe how common it really is. I'm sorry to hear of so many other ladies having gone through the same thing. That's the hardest part- having such a healthy pregnancy end so quickly, just to lose my baby.

bunnybun4 · March 2014

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet Brayden. ((hugs))

Noethola · March 2014

So very sorry to welcome you to this board. Please know we are here to support one another and will to the best of our abilities. So very sorry for the loss of your son Brayden.

mingaling2 · March 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. I didn't have any known reason for my loss, but there was just no heartbeat. I hope you can find some comfort and support here.

mmsweeney1 · March 2014

*ticker*

First, I wanted to tell you that I love your picture of your little boy. My situation was different than yours but I can relate to everything happening so suddenly. I was 38 weeks and had been feeling "off" for a couple weeks. I went to my normal 38 week appointment and they discovered protein in my urine for the first time and requested I come back the next day to recheck. By the time I saw them the next day, our son was gone. I was suddenly induced and I was dealing with an unexpected pregnancy disease for 2 weeks after birth. It was like one day I was watching for signs of labor beginning, and the next he was gone and I was in ICU. I was happy and healthy the whole time, just as you described. I know the feeling of "How could this happen?"

You might not have answers, but I hope you will at least experience the peace of knowing it was nothing you did and it was out of your control. We're here for you.

LyndseyTS · March 2014

I'm so sorry for the loss of your son. I don't have a similar story to yours (we knew from early on that the chances of losing our daughter were quite high), but I too know the feeling of not being able to do anything as @ikrystal mentioned. I hope that you find comfort here, I know I have.

shandorfml2 · March 2014

Im so sorry for the loss of your son (((hugs))))

VyD81 · March 2014

I'm sorry for your loss of Brayden, what a great name! It sucks that we're all here, but, the ladies on this board are wonderful mamas and understanding. Hugs.

irons633 · March 2014

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby boy. I have lost two babies, my son Nov. 2012 at 20 weeks which after examining the placenta stated I suffered placental abruption. However, with him I was spotting and he was lagging in growth. Most recently found out he had bowel issues. My daughter whom I lost at 28 weeks this past Oct was due to a placental abruption and a clot in the cord which my doctor stated could have happened after the abruption. I had test done and all my blood came back normal except that I have MTHFR which means my body can not process folic acid in the man made form. I also came down with post partum preeclampsia. I now take a baby aspirin and Neevo DHA and Metanx which are both designed for people with MTHFR. We will try again next month. But like you I had no warning with my loss of my daughter.
Many hugs to you and your family. Hate to welcome anyone new to this board

dseres87 · March 2014

I love getting to know all you ladies, but am so sad to hear all your stories. So many little angels are looking down on us right now!

diamante1181 · March 2014

I'm so sorry you have to be here. Unfortunately, there are a lot of loss moms, and those that were due to an abruption. Please, take the time you need, and be gentle on yourself. Nothing ever cures the pain, you just learn to function with it. I'm so terribly sorry for the loss of your baby boy.

I hope you will find lots of support here.

OutOfStep81 · March 2014

I'm so sorry to welcome you here and for your loss.

My pregnancy with Adeline was relatively normal as well. Her death wasn't caused by placental abruption, but by a cord accident sometime dying my 39th week. At least that's all we can surmise. She was perfect and I delivered her one day before her due date.

I know it's so hard to face this new reality. Thoughts and prayers to you and your family. (Hugs)

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