S/O Calling DH

bhuffman · March 2014

I've admitted before that I'm a bit of a drama queen. I totally would have called DH about a snake in the basement, if I felt sick, or if my car wouldn't start. However, he would probably nicely tell me to handle it. For the record, I have and would take care of it.
He doesn't leave work for much. However, if a child was hurt, he'd be there in an instant.

So, does your husband have a line he draws about coming home from work?

sunnydays99 · March 2014

The only time I've asked him to leave work was when I put my back out and literally couldn't move let alone lift, carry, take care of my 2 year old and newborn. He gladly left to take care of everyone. He's also come home before when I was sick with a stomach virus. I didn't ask him to, but he came home anyway.

caybeh · March 2014

Yeah. If I was sick or DS hurt, he'd come home. Otherwise, he would probably just talk me off the ledge over the phone. He does have a pretty flexible work environment, so he could leave if needed/wanted.

I would have totally called him about the snake too. I'm not sure what he would have done though. He knows my fear of snakes....

Chapter79 · March 2014

My H has literally come home three times EVER early.

A) when I was sent to the hospital after 34 week OB appointment to be told "you're having a baby. Now"

when his dad was diagnosed with brain cancer and C) when Alexis was screaming bloody murder that her ear and throat hurt "SO BAD" and holding it and I had no car.. and he was going on a business trip, so we had to get her in before it.

So he has a pretty big line. He has crazy work ethic and feels I can mostly handle things. Mostly, I can. But I've called my mom and grandfather to help with things before :P

Andrewsgal · March 2014

I don't know that DH has ever come home early from work. I mean sure he would if I asked but I have never asked.

rockyrollgirl · March 2014

I would never call him and tell him to leave work unless it was an actual emergency.

zbeesma86 · March 2014

Once thus far. Z was about 3 months old & I called him at work crying. I was so dizzy & light headed. I couldn't pick up Z. I was freaking out. He was able to come home for an hour & console me. I was adjusting to new thyroid meds & ended up switching because of dizzy spells. Sucked! If I called him over a water bug or spider he'd tell me to put a cup over it & he'd get it when he got home haha. A snake? I'd be SOL. He hates snakes.

fancefpp · March 2014

He'd only leave work for a true emergency. If I'm sick, I have my parents 10 mins away and they are always around. He tries to come home early though.

Cherryblossoms07 · March 2014

I have only called DH to come home twice that I can think of. Once, DS got his head caught between our steps and a bar in the basement. I couldn't get him out, he was freaking out, and I was beginning to freak out too. By the time DH called back I had managed to get DS free so he didn't come home. Another time I locked the kids and I out of the house. The power had gone out so our garage door wasn't working and I didn't have a house key with me at the time for some reason and I couldn't find a way to get in. DS was a newborn and DD 2. I had him come home on his "lunch break" to open up the house. It gave me an excuse to go shopping until then. : )

Those are the only times I can think of where I asked him to come home. Usually I just text him to let him know something is up and I handle it myself - lizard in the house, taking kids to ER for minor accidents/medical issues, water leak, I'm sick, etc.

notreallyirish · March 2014

It hasn't really come up, which is fortunate because it would probably be an argument. DH can have a God complex when it comes to missing work for sickness... if he's not there, the world will stop. He takes vacation, though, so he's inconsistent in his logic.

rosesandpetals · March 2014

He has left twice when DD had an emergency and had to go to the hospital. He will come home early sometimes. If I tell him we're going to the park or something fun, he will sometimes leave early because he has a very flexible schedule most of the year. I never ask him to leave for stuff like that, though.

If there were a snake in the basement, he would probably just tell me to close the door and he would deal with it when he got home.

thechickencoop · March 2014

Off of the top of my head, the only time I can think of that he actually left work in the middle of a job to come home was when we had a fire at our old house. Luckily we were all OK but I was so upset and stuttering when I called him that all he heard was something like fire, 911, dogs, house, come home! He probably drove dangerously coming home because he seriously had no idea what had happened and was freaking out

nonoemily · March 2014

I called him once the day after Christmas when I was up all night puking and DS was sick too. No deal.

He couldn't leave work so he sent his useless teenage sister to help me. She sat on the couch and watched tv for two days, did nothing helpful. But I appreciated that he wasn't just like, "sorry babe, good luck with that!" He tried to help, even if it wasn't that helpful.

eaglesfan700 · March 2014

rockyrollgirl said:

I would never call him and tell him to leave work unless it was an actual emergency.

Ditto this. It wouldn't even occur to me to call and ask him to come home for a snake.

minerswife17 · March 2014

DH works underground so it is really hard to get a hold of him. But after that it would take him a good 45 mins just to get out from underground, THEN, 1 hour drive home. It would be a process. So I could probably have whatever is was taken care of, or have a neighbor help.

Lindsay9911 · March 2014

My DH has come home twice! Once I was 9 months pregnant and had an 11 month old and our hot water heater started pouring water and flooded out laundry room and I couldn't get it to stop. I had to trek through the rain with DD1 to go to the well shed and try to turn off the water and I was a crying hormonal mess! He came home and got it cut off and went back so it was no big deal!

Then a couple months ago I had the full blown stomach flu and literally couldn't lift my head off the pillow and so I called him to come home! I felt horrible to call but I was totally incapable of taking care of an 18 month and 2 yr old!

bumpuser924057 · March 2014

Mine has never come home for anything, and I don't think he would think to do so on his own unless one of us literally died. But to be fair, I've never asked either. I am pretty self-sufficient and if it was something I couldn't handle on my own I would call my parents to help before I asked him to come home from work.

joyfullyfound · March 2014

Ha, he gets a load of family-related time through his work and we don't even use a quarter of it each year, so I could pretty much just call him and tell him to come home just because, and he would. We could really make more use of all that time, I'm not sure why we don't... this last year he took maybe 2 or 3 mornings off to watch DD for me for various reasons, and I think that's it! I need to come up with more excuses

alli2672 · March 2014

DH has come home or met me at the hospital on multiple occasions. He always says that he can't, but then he always does.

rach10782 · March 2014

The only time I've ever asked my husband to come home from work "early" (i.e. 5pm) was when my son was running a fever of 103, I was running a fever and I had just hit the height of my morning sickness with DS2. That's the only time I've asked because thankfully I've never had a more serious reason come up. If my husband didn't have any meetings scheduled and it wasn't busy season he would come home for a much lesser reason, but I would probably never ask.

spring_time · March 2014

I have not needed to call DH home from work yet. As of now, I think the only time I would is if one of the kids was headed to emergency. That line is a really big line and I hate calling him at work. He gets really short and exasperated. Usually if it is something that needs immediate attention, I call my dad and ask him.

Court0026 · March 2014

DH is a pain to find at work. I have had security have to go find him for a few things though: I was at the obgyn when I was pg and my kidney stone pain was unbearable (and I had DS with me), I flooded the basement somehow with the washing machine, I locked us out of the house. I think that is it.

Arnegard · March 2014

If DH is at work, he can rarely be gotten on the phone when I do call. DH routinely car pools with 2-3 other guys so if I did call him, he couldn't leave. He works 12 hour shifts with 1.5 hour commute each way. I am SOL if he is working.

Spin313 · March 2014

I've never asked DH to leave work (only to not stay late for things like dr. appts, etc). But I would if I was seriously ill or if one of the kids had a hospital-level emergency.

Rink08 · March 2014

DH isn't able to take personal calls at work. In an emergency, I can call and he may or may not get the message or be able to leave. When I went into labor with DS3, I called and said that I was in labor and he called back and told me that he couldn't leave, he loved me, and to call an ambulance. He wasn't able to leave until someone came in and was caught up so he missed DS3's birth.

outnumbered · March 2014

My husband has come home about 1/2 dozen times in the past 9 years. Once I was really sick and ended up hospitalized for 4 days. I called him to take me to the ER. Two other times my middle child had stitches and he came home to do school pickup. He also came home when I had a stomach virus. I could not take care of the kids because my head was in the toilet. He did come home once when I was not sick. My second was about 5 months old and not sleeping at all. I hit a wall mentally and emotionally. I called him crying and came home so I could sleep. He knows that if I call I really need him.

Mogi519 · March 2014

For the most part my husbands work is pretty flexible and his office is less than 5 min from our house, so if I absolutely needed him for something he would be here. But, it would have to be something major for me to ask him to come home and for him to actually leave work.

jensriot · March 2014

DH will come home for a medical emergency. Or if I'm so sick I can't physically take care of the kids. That is really rare. Once, he flew home from a conference early because I literally could not get out of bed and was about to call 911 for an ambulance. A friend had the kids and could only keep them until later that evening.

Other stuff I can handle. I may call DH and bitch or freak out, but not with the intention of him coming home.

AimeeL85 · March 2014

I think the only time I've ever actually told him "come home NOW" was when I thought DS had broken his leg for a second time.

He does go to his work gym for an hour after work though, and if I'm having a really bad day or not feeling well I can ask him to skip it and come home and he has no problem with it. Other times I don't ask but he knows I'm having a stressful day and skips it.

Rink08 · March 2014

LalaMama81 said:

Rink08 said:

DH isn't able to take personal calls at work. In an emergency, I can call and he may or may not get the message or be able to leave. When I went into labor with DS3, I called and said that I was in labor and he called back and told me that he couldn't leave, he loved me, and to call an ambulance. He wasn't able to leave until someone came in and was caught up so he missed DS3's birth.

What does he do that he couldn't leave for the birth of his child? I guess you expected that would happen so it wasn't upsetting? I would be a disaster.

We had moved here 10 days before so we had a sitter come from our old house (about 30 minutes away) who I called before calling his work. I expected labor to take longer than it did so I wasn't really worried. Then by the time I got to the hospital, I was having the baby and didn't care where DH was because I just wanted DS3 out.

magentawarped · March 2014

He can and has come home almost every time I've deemed it necessary enough to ask him. It's usually when I'm sick and can't care for the kids, but I also had to call him once when I was having a preggo rage day and just couldn't deal with DD. I asked if he'd come home for a snake if I were actually afraid of them, and he said he would come as long as he wasn't mission critical that day. Now I know who to call for big spiders.

myatala · March 2014

Husband comes home for emergencies. One time I was just having a really hard time with suicidal feelings and I didn't ask him to come home but he did anyway so I wouldn't be alone, and so I wouldn't have to worry about taking care of the baby that afternoon. If I were too physically ill to handle the kidlet, I'm pretty sure Husband would use some PTO for the worst of it.

pitterpatter129 · March 2014

I've called my DH once at work in the past 13 years we've been together. I went to the hospital with DS2 (pregnant) because I was sick and having contractions. He left, but I wasn't asking him to. They are a point system, so it had better be an actual emergency.

Andrewsgal · March 2014

I will say that DHs job is super flexible and I can always get ahold of him whether it be his cell or office phone. I would not be okay with not being able to get ahold of him.

ariel06 · March 2014

DH will come home if it's an emergency, but generally if it's he can something minor that I'm not sure how to handle he'll talk me through it.

Example, our garage door opener broke 5 minutes before I needed to be leaving to pick up DS2 from preschool. I knew that I was able to pull the cord, but I wasn't exactly sure if I needed to anything else. He told me how to do it and it was fine.

He does come home if the kids are bleeding profusely because I tend to get woozy.

kcisthebombdotcom · March 2014

Dh takes off from work a lot. He does all the kids doctors appointments (and dd has a ton), anytime I've went to urgent care, random crap like getting my car out when it got stuck in the snow, etc. He has a ton of flexibility and just works from home to make up the hours.

bhuffman · March 2014

I have a hard time getting ahold of DH at work. He is in meetings a lot. So, I mainly use texts or email bc he has his laptops in meetings. I rarely call and when I do I have to leave a voicemail.

notkateanymore · March 2014

He comes home for all sorts of things, he is bad about answering the phone but in an emergency he's always available.

bumpuser8448316 · March 2014

LalaMama81 said:

For those who can't get ahold of their husbands or they're super far away, etc. - What would happen if it was a true emergency? I know this thread is about what the line is - but it seems some are saying there is no line. I can't imagine not being able to reach DH at all.

I know we have it "good," b/c he is only 25 minutes away, is on email or in his office a good chunk of the time and can almost always answer the phone if he's not in lab.

There is an emergency number I can call and he can be reached. The only time I called it was when I was pregnant and my OB had me admitted after a failed NST and concerns over my heart rate. Most of the time if I really need help with the kids or something my parents and MIL are all nearby and retired- I call them

Ballet513 · March 2014

The only time I ever asked him to leave work was when my water broke lol. DD has only been around for 11 months and no major illnesses or anything yet. I imagine he'd come home if she got hurt or was very sick. Any sort of home issue I just call my brother who can fix anything and is local. My H commutes an hour each way. For example, my laundry room flooded and I called my brother. If I were too sick to care for DD I would call my parents. They are also local and retired so it just makes more sense.

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