Nurseries - Did/will IF play a part in the timing of starting yours?

liz4paws · March 2014

I know I'm probably the oddball, but I've been working on our nursery since I was like 12weeks...maybe even earlier if I had to confess. We've had the room empty for a couple years prepping for this elusive baby chase. I felt like moving forward with it was a way of squashing the PGaL brain and reaffirming that this baby WILL get here, it's not IF she gets here (if that makes sense.) And since we waited so long, it didn't feel "early" to me anyway. It felt like I was telling IF and the nagging loss brain to go eff itself. That was my rationale for starting early.

So here I am today and it's almost 100% done now and I'm not even 21w along LOL. But I'm curious....How has the timing of your nursery decorating been impacted by your IF or PGaL thoughts? Do you feel like you should wait untill the end due to thoughts around IF and/or loss? Or do it sooner? Did it not weigh in at all? Did you forge ahead early because you felt entitled to after the long wait? Just wondering!

PhillyJ33 · March 2014

Well, my husband had some time off over the winter so we waited until then to do most of the clearing out and painting. I ordered the furniture when I was around 22 weeks due to holiday sales. I was nervous about it due to IF and I am nervous by nature but I didn't really have a choice due to the timing!
This past weekend, I washed all the newborn and 0-3 clothes that we were given as gifts and the bedding, receiving blankets, etc. I am 35 weeks and still scared to "jinx" anything but my girlfriends came over to help and encouraged me to do it now! My next project to make this all seem real is packing my hospital bag!
So basically, while I definitely had negative thoughts about it, I plunged ahead and went by other timelines that made more sense for us to ensure it all gets done in time!
I think it's awesome to tell IF to eff off once in awhile and find happiness in preparation. It already stole too much from us!

GettinCrafty · March 2014

Oh my gosh, this topic is so top of mind for me lately! I definitely think IF made me wait longer to buy maternity clothes, and to even start thinking about what baby will need. I just couldn't wrap my head around the fact that this is actually happening, and kept (keep?) waiting for the other shoe to drop. After our MAT21 results came back normal, I relaxed quite a bit and bought some maternity clothes. And I've just pushed myself into full-on research mode for baby gear -- depending heavily on a book that came highly recommended called Baby Bargains -- but feeling totally overwhelmed by it.

Thanks to DH's prompting, we've already cleared out the baby's room, which I may have waited on. But so glad that's done, now, at least!

Thanks for posting about this!

Aurora1181 · March 2014

great question! We plan to wait until about 20 weeks to get started- but that's mostly because we're both high school teachers and don't really have time to mess with it until school gets out in June. These babies will probably be here in September, so that gives me June, July, and August to pull it together. I've read that ordering furniture can take forever. I'm definitely scoping out Project Nursery and other sites already...

brittneyandadam · March 2014

Because of the nature of my chromosomal abnomality, we haven't started yet. We won't until we get the final results from the genetic testing....which will hopefully be on Wednesday. Even then, I'm not sure we'll start right away...I want to give it time to sink in. I have gone to look at paint chips and all that...but I think DH and I will take things slowly.

sunflowermama42212 · March 2014

We told my MIL that IVF #2 worked when we got back our first beta and the first words outta her mouth was that's wonderful but don't get excited yet because something could still happen. I never usually get offended by her but I looked at her and said I refuse to live my life waiting for tragedy and everyday I'm pregnant is a day I'll live in happiness. That mindset got me through this so DH and I started the nursery right away. We had the whole thing done by 20 weeks or so and we even painted it after my failed first cycle. For my sanity I rather act like that baby will 100% be in my arms one day. I was scared but I tried to hide it behind every baby purchase or accomplishment in the nursery and that helped give me faith that this will happen! Now that we are receiving gifts from other people it feels weird like wow other people are acknowledging he will be coming soon. That to me was a weirder feeling lol and made me a little scared to be honest.

SpartanGirl24 · March 2014

Our decision is mainly based on the fact that I am taking a new job over the summer, and we will have to leave our current living situation. Otherwise I would be right there with you! Since we are going to be moving in June, I can't rationalize putting together a bunch of furniture that I'm just going to have to take down again.

I have bought clothes already to help with my need to buy

Jen071407 · March 2014

liz4paws said:

...I felt like moving forward with it was a way of squashing the PGaL brain and reaffirming that this baby WILL get here, it's not IF she gets here (if that makes sense.) And since we waited so long, it didn't feel "early" to me anyway. It felt like I was telling IF and the nagging loss brain to go eff itself. That was my rationale for starting early.

I love this! I'm still very early in the game, but, like you, I'm forcing myself to allow myself (if that makes sense) to look at bedding/dressers/strollers online and start to plan for the nursery. I just told MH last night that I have decided to "be excited about seeing the heartbeat" in 2 weeks and not focusing on all the what ifs. IF does need to go eff itself :ar!

MJC1116 · March 2014

So I waited a while. At the beginning, it was definitely because of IF brain. We had just moved into our new house and the baby furniture was already in there since we transitioned DD to a big-girl room during the room and didn't want to store all the furniture in the garage. I told H he had to wait until the NT scan to assemble the furniture.

Then, I slacked off quite a bit. Mostly because I'm a teacher and get super busy, and I think majorly because this is #2 for us and not much needed to be done.

I'm 34 1/2 weeks and just waiting for nursery art and some other decor, but other than that I'm done.

Finally!

4legsRbest · March 2014

Good for you, Liz! That is a wonderful attitude to have.

With my first, I didn't start the nursery until 21 weeks and finished at about 28.

With these two, I will likely wait as long as I can. I need to buy 2 cribs, another glider, and the like, b/c my DS is still so young he needs his stuff, but I don't want to be left with 2 empty of everything should something bad happen. In all likely hood, I will wait until 28+ weeks to buy anything.

krdesi · March 2014

We bought paint for the nursery and I know how I want to decorate, but we haven't bought the wall decals or artwork yet.

A few friends/family have already bought our boy his crib and mattress as well, so we have that IN his bedroom, it just isn't set up yet! My husband is taking his sweet time with the painting, and I feel like I can't do much else until that is done!

lincoln79 · March 2014

After three losses, we were extremely gun shy. But then we realized that being hesitant to be joyful didn't make the second two losses any easier.

We have been looking at nursery designs online and bought the centerpiece to our nursery on Etsy the weekend before our 1st u/s. We are slowly wading in the water of joy...

(((hugs)))

cc+mm · March 2014

We emptied the nursery a few weeks ago, and that is still how it sits now. But, I ordered the fabric to have the drapery panels made a few weeks ago and picked paint colors. I just need DH to get to painting. However, since the nursery is in a holding pattern, I have been filling her closet with clothes. I can already tell she will be one well dressed baby :-)

cc+mm · March 2014

Sorry... I also had to add that I looked at your blog to see your nursery. It is adorable, and the decal is so perfect. On a completely separate note, while reading your blog I realized our girls both weighed 11 ounces on Thursday at our scans and we got the same soda can comparison. :-)

liz4paws · March 2014

cc+mm said:

Sorry... I also had to add that I looked at your blog to see your nursery. It is adorable, and the decal is so perfect. On a completely separate note, while reading your blog I realized our girls both weighed 11 ounces on Thursday at our scans and we got the same soda can comparison. :-)

Aww thanks. Yes, she's my little can of pepsi!

Congrats on your little sodas!

ang2016 · March 2014

I thought I would wait but Target had a great deal on a furniture set we've been looking at so crib, dresser and changing table have alk been purchased. Once/if our weather warms up DH will replace carpet and then we csn paint. I thought just buying furniture was HUGE!

formerwigirl · March 2014

I've just started looking but I figure we will slowly start to buy stuff in a few weeks. Thanks for posting it was nice to see what others think.

Jeffreysmom24 · March 2014

We are definitely going to wait on the nursery. When I was pregnant with Jeffrey, I spent alot of time planning the nursery, making purchases and had the registry finished by end of first trimester. Due to 2 losses last year, DH and I are taking things more slowly this time. We are waiting until 14 weeks to tell family. So I am really glad to have TB as an outlet to share things with!

curlylocks3 · March 2014

Mine was partially IF brain and partially from work...I work in High Risk OB and I've been the designated loss nurse for our unit for the past few years. I wasn't comfortable doing anything until nearly 24 weeks (we bought the furniture on Sunday and I hit 24 weeks that following Tuesday). Now at nearly 28 weeks I'm a bit overwhelmed trying to finish it all with all my exhaustion.

amwenz · March 2014

@tigger99 my husband has just been banished to the basement! However, I tried to get him to put his computer in multiple other places so I'm trying not to feel bad that he is in the cold "not a hangout" kind of basement. He does have a space heater though and he bought himself a new desk.

thecuddleeffect · March 2014

Because of our IF and 2nd tri loss we didn't start the nursery until 28 weeks. It still got done! And we kept our sanity lol. It's sad how much we have all been through dictates our feelings during pregnancy. I wish I could just be carefree and happy! (I am happy, but it gets overshadowed by my pure fear)

HeatherHam10 · March 2014

We emptied the nursery early on but now it has kinda just been sitting there. We just found out it was a boy so will prob look fornthe bedding we like and start painting soon and maybe start ordering furniture. Our house just went on the market so that has played a part in waiting. But IF brain def keeps me hesitant and waiting. Im just over 19 weeks now.

LSN8308 · March 2014

We'll be moving into our home in 10 days and this weekend we're painting the whole house except for the nursery lol.

I am anxious to get started on it. So far I'm telling myself that I'm waiting until our a/s in 2.5 weeks once we know the genders. But I'm so scared to start decorating and buying things for 2 babies. I strive to remain as optimistic as I possibly can in life and I know once I start on the nursery I wont stop until it's complete. So it's an all or nothing deal for me....

Ylvelill · March 2014

I waited longer than I would have otherwise. But I am getting on the ball now as I hit week 20

whoberry · March 2014

We waited until after the anatomy scan and close to v-day to do anything nursery related. Just because I wanted to be sure everything was ok and we were really having this baby. We painted the room a gender neutral green years ago and we're sticking with our color choice. I'm 29 weeks now and all I've got is the crib set up, but I'm no longer stressed about it now that the crib is up and we own a car seat. We've got the essentials, the rest is just for organization and decor. Shopping for a dresser and chair will be time consuming but the little decorative stuff will be fun.

I definitely waited due to PAIF/PGAL brain but I'm kind of glad I did. I've still got 11-13 weeks to go so it will give me something to do.

Deardra77 · March 2014

With my son had a major case of IF brain. Didn't buy anything at all, even a onesie until after about 4.5 months and even then it was with cash as I know retailers send coupons in the mail based on your shopping habits and I was terrified of getting coupons in the mail if the baby didn't make it. Yup, IF messed with my head BIG time during the first pregnancy. I never actually even introed over here as I was too paranoid to jinx anything. Started the nursery at about 6.5 months and went a bit mad and even got new windows. In retrospect, baby sleeps in the parents room for so long after being born having the nursery set up really isn't necessary so will be a lot more chill this time about having everything ready

FutureMrsW9 · March 2014

We're not done with ours yet (I'm in my 27th week), but its was not a conscious choice and the timing had absolutely nothing to do with IF, it's just kinda how things played out with our schedules, choosing paint colors, choosing sheets/window treatments/etc., actually finding time to paint, ordering furniture, getting someone in to do some handyman work in the room, etc. Last week we had new 6-panel doors put in and some chair rail in the baby's room. We did already paint, so now it just needs to be touched up and the doors painted. The first round of furniture is in and will be delivered this weekend, so we're finally getting there. I'm hoping to have it all done by May 3rd (32 weeks) because that's when our maternity shoot is and I wanted to use the room for that. I still haven't ordered or found anything that I even like in terms of an area rug and a bookcase, so we'll see - we might be sans those things for a while because I don't want to just buy anything, I have a particular style that I've been on the hunt for and haven't found it yet.

healz413 · March 2014

@Manada decided that for this IVF cycle she wanted to embrace an "if you build it will come" philosophy to try to get us out of complete IF brain. So we bought a used bassinet and put a bunch of little things in it (things from when we were babies, children's books, the photo of the embryos being transferred, etc.). We also bought a used, nice dresser with a good top for making into a changing table after our first betas. I wouldn't let us by a crib or clothes dresser until after our first ultrasound and then we saw the twins! So now we need more stuff and we don't currently have room for it.
I think we will buy stuff earlier than our IF-brains would otherwise let us because we've started the "if you build it, they will come" thing already so it's easier to keep going than to start from scratch. Also, we're both feeling a bit overwhelmed by how stuff for twins will fit in our apartment, so actually getting that stuff worked out might help us calm down a little. That said, we're talking about switching into the smaller bedroom and giving the twins the bigger room, and I don't think we're in much of a hurry to move ourselves into a smaller room yet. We have to talk about those options (especially given that we expect to sleep in the same room as the babies for a while if we can) and then go from there.

olenkapdx · March 2014

We waited until nearly the end. Partly because of my superstitious IF brain, partly because it was my SO's "man cave" and he was dragging his feet getting the room cleaned out.

Finally putting the finishing touches on the room this weekend: hanging curtains that I made and putting up artwork.

Apparently my parents were working on both my sister's and my rooms the night before my mom delivered us, so I feel like I actually have a head start!

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Nurseries - Did/will IF play a part in the timing of starting yours?

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IF, 5 losses, 1 son, 1 on the way.

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