S/O Bullying...

Re: S/O Bullying...

• JoJo716 member

  March 2014

  Ii is really hard for schools or teachers to handle all acts of bullying. Yes, I am sure sometimes it is not given the proper attention, but for the most part, kids are smart enough to do it when the teacher is not around. I think the reason bullying has become such an issue has more to do with social networks. At school, kids have limited interactions outside of the classroom. However, Facebook and texting provides a lot of unmonitored time and access for bullies. Most of our bullying issues were started outside of school and online. I think that is where parents need to focus, especially for younger kids. I will be very watchful of ds's Internet and phone usage as he gets older but I hope he learns to use it responsibly.

   

  

   

  

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• coffeeandbooks member

  March 2014 edited March 2014

  I don't have a good answer but I will give you an example of what happened to me and maybe what could have happened different.  When I was in kindergarten...I was bullied by a boy.   This kid used to torment me...constantly hitting me, chasing me.    My mother spoke to the teacher about it and the teacher said I asked for it because I was always at the back of the line.  It really didn't end until the boy was sent to special ed because he was developmentally behind.
  
  Maybe there could have been consequences for the kid...like no recess, phone calls home, detention, and lastly expulsion.
  
  I know a lot has changed since I was in school so I am sure there are better methods that have been put in place.
  
  It seems like bullying is even more endemic these days I know it is likely because of the mass media covering more stories that used to be more local, but it is a concern.
  
  DH and I are planning on sending LO to Karate though.  I want him to feel confident about defending himself.
  

  

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• emmy236 member

  March 2014

  I am not a teacher but I am a child of two fantastic ones so according to them
  - stop it with the testing. It's making everyone miserable
  - bring back physical activity. Kids have energy, if they don't get it out in a positive way, they will get it out in the negative way.
  - bring back art and music - same idea let kids express themselves
  - parents need to shut up and back off in the classroom. Teachers should be respected. They went to college for years and focused on teaching. A teacher isn't bad because your child isn't a Mensa member yet. Your job is to continue the education at home, not try to dictate and bully the teacher at school.
  - bullies should have real punishments like being kicked off sports teams, banned from dances etc but given a way to earn privileges back. If they feel they have no future then they have nothing to lose by keeping up the bad behavior.
  - kids should do more team building activities. They seem super lame at the time but really do wonders.

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• JoJo716 member

  March 2014

  @emmy236‌ I heart all of those.

   

  

   

  

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• lizziebooper member

  March 2014 edited March 2014

  As an EA in a very small town I hear this too. I think @emmy236 had a lot of good points. Bullying does happen way too much and it needs to be stopped. Like others said sometimes it happens outside the classroom. Parents need to be proactive if teachers aren't being made aware there is a problem they can't fix it. Tell the teacher, if that doesn't work tell the principal, then go higher to the school board until you get results.

  
  

  Another perspective from my experience in some cases where parents are saying nothing is being done they are also the parents that take everything the child says as complete truth and never is their child in the wrong. I have seen times when the "bullied" child does something to another and then cries foul when retaliated upon. 

  
  

  Something else to consider is if the school is taking action with bullies but the families of the victims are not always made aware as to what the consequences are.

  
  

  Edited to add

  It also has to begin at home, teach your children to respect others, be good role models. Also kids need to learn that there are consequences for their actions and that rules do apply. So many times when I have asked students to stop doing something, go to the office etc etc I was told "No you aren't my parent and you can't make me" and you know what they were right because they were raised to believe that rules didn't apply to them and they had the right to do as they pleased. We the staff would comment that we would hear the names of these kids on the radio in a few years and sadly for some we have, one who will spend the rest of his life in prison for attempted murder of his ex girlfriend and double murder of her sister and mother.

  
  

                                Audrey    05/13                                               Charlotte 08/10

                                                                             

                                     

                                                              Graydon 02/09

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• Shoegal36 member

  March 2014

  I think these are all good points, but I think we also need to raise kids to be more confident in themselves and help them learn to deal with certain situations. It always goes back and forth between teachers and parents...who's responsible to discipline the bully, etc. But no matter how hard we try, there will always be bullies. There always has been. Instead of focusing so much on how and who should punish the bullies...I think some focus needs to be put on how kids should deal with bullies. 

  
  

  I think kids are more sensitive today. Don't get me wrong...I think bullying is totally unacceptable and that there should be no tolerance in schools, but I don't think we'll be able to get rid of it totally. 

  
  

  Today, kids spend so much time in front of TV's and computers. They don't go out and play with friends in the neighborhood as often, so they rarely have to deal with situations like "so and so won't share, so and so is being bossy, so and so won't let me have a turn being mommy when we play house." These situations help kids learn to be confident and stand up for themselves. It teaches them to say "if you're not going to be nice, I'm going home and I'm not going to play with you." Nowadays parents take kids to tons of organized activities like dance class and sports so their kids can "socialize" but the thing is...kids are usually on their "best behavior" when there are parents around, so everyone gets along for the most part. Then, kids go to school and have no idea how to handle a child that is being mean. Their parents aren't there to run to and they get so upset, just fueling the bully even more. Of course things are going to hurt their feelings and no one should have to deal with being picked on...but sometimes the best thing they can do is laugh it off or ignore it. It's no fun picking on someone who just doesn't care. 

  
  

  I don't know if that makes any sense and it's easier said than done. I also kind of rambled but those are some of my thoughts on bullying. 

             

  
  

     

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• coffeeandbooks member

  March 2014

  Shoegal36...I definitely agree with you.   I think it is really important to prepare kids for bullies and give them a reality check of what to expect with your inevitable mean kid...I think role playing might help with that and also to help your kids understand that bullies are often sad and lonely themselves.
  

  

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