Article: The overprotected kid

watercolor5 · March 2014

Long but interesting- anyone ever heard of adventure playgrounds? Thoughts?

The Overprotected Kid

BeachBabe22 · March 2014

I read that article and it seems a bit odd to me. I would never allow my children to play on dirty mattresses or start fires in a park. Maybe some people think it's a great idea but I guess I will continue to shelter my daughter and only let her play on a playground with slides and swings.

Holly_1007 · March 2014

Hmm. Interesting. Never heard of it. I didn't read the whole article (too long) I'm not sure how I feel about it

Flamingemu · March 2014

way tl:dr. Sorry. I have heard of the playground before though. I don't like the idea that the (presumably since I didn't read) author is saying that kids should get to start fires and act like assholes at this park because they are otherwise too sheltered. I had way too much freedom as a kid and I never set fires in the woods or played on dirty mattresses.

Besides, shit has changed in the last 30 years. It is not as safe. And, we have learned a lot. So while it may not be as safe (real or perceived) we know that we can keep our kids out of danger by doing x,y,&z.

I give L a lot of freedom while still being available to help if she needs me. DH & I have already talked about how we will let her roam within reason as she gets older. She has to learn to figure things out on her own. I have complained before about some extreme examples of helicopter parents we know though.

Bighair12 · March 2014

I actually really liked the article and read the whole thing.

There was some discussion about how some kids today are failing to launch and struggling with fears. Since we no longer let them experience some things.

Things in life have changed but I have to agree that they have not necessarily changed for the better. Kids are mostly over involved in activities and have no alone time to figure themselves out.

Unknown · March 2014

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melody921 · March 2014

Flamingemu said:

Besides, shit has changed in the last 30 years. It is not as safe.

This is always my point when SIL starts in on how she was out of the house from dawn-dusk as a child. No way in hell would I let my kids roam free or do a lot of the other things that were apparently OK years ago. And my mom must have been ahead of her time, bc my brother and I weren't allowed to do a lot of this stuff either. We'll be sticking to the regular, boring old playground, thanks.

AKB090609 · March 2014

I think that kids do need the freedom to explore and solve problems on their own, for me that doesn't equate to a need to light fires or play on materials of questionable cleanliness. It just means that parents need to give them some space and hang back a bit. There is a difference between supervision (knowing where and what your child is doing) and hovering (not allowing a child space).

jenndub · March 2014

I read the whole damn thing. Man, that was long. I agree with a lot of it. I'm not going to send my kids off into some dirty mattress park to start fires, but I do try to let them be independent when I can. The older two play in our backyard for hours without any supervision and they are fine. They aren't allowed to play out in the front yard alone though. Sawyer is always climbing ladders and going down massive slides at the playground and I have been lectured by two other moms about it. She likes to explore, I'm always watching her, but I don't need to hold her hand through everything.

watercolor5 · March 2014

I'm with the people who say I wouldn't let my kid jump on filthy mattresses or start fires supervised only by someone I don't know (there is some adult supervision at these playgrounds, but only to make sure kids don't get seriously hurt.) I think it's true that kids learn their limits and learn how to be safe by experiencing minor bumps and bruises though play and interacting with their environments.

That said, I would have LOVED an adventure playground when I was a kid. It makes me really disappointed now when I see traditional playgrounds that no longer have swings or monkey bars or structures you can fall from. I think it was helpful learning how to fall off a swing as a child, and learning how to land from a fall, and purposefully jumping at the top of the arc while swinging was totally worth the chance of a broken arm, from my kid perspective.

ETA: I know it was crazy long, sorry if you trudged through the whole thing! Thought it was worth a skim though

watercolor5 · March 2014

@jenndub your new siggy pic is beyond adorable!

Hyaline · March 2014

LoisLayn23 said:

I think roaming and experiencing are great for children, when done within reason. My parents let us roam the farm, we'd be gone for hours. The only rule was stay on our property and be within ear shot so they could holler for dinner.

Yeah, we came home with cuts and bruises and some road rash a few times, but those are also some of my best memories as a child and I learned a lot too. Lyfe skills.

This is kind of what I was thinking. I grew up on about five acres and was never restricted where I could go. And as I got older I trespassed a lot, too. I get that not everyone has that luxury, but I feel like you can cultivate ways for your kids to explore and experiment without creating a dedicated environment, if that makes sense. Even if you don't have a few acres to play on--I'll have no issue with DD walking down the street by herself to the library as she gets older, for example.

Seems to me that a dedicated "parents, let go now and let your kids play and try things and mess up" is more training for the parents than it is for the kids...

Hyaline · March 2014

Opening a slightly different can of worms--is it truly less safe now than it was 20, 30, 50 years ago? I would disagree with that. Abductions, serial killings, all that shit happened 50 years ago, too--and streets weren't necessarily any safer in terms of cars. And FFS, over a century ago you might die from a broken bone--so some of the things we cushion our kids from were actually more dangerous in a time when kids weren't so protected. So--have things changed, or has our risk tolerance changed? Is that a good thing?

hmp1 · March 2014

24 hour news ftw.

I don't need a specialized playground to let my kids be kids, nor do I want something that resembles a junk yard in my neighborhood. Either parents are going to be more relaxed, or more protective but a special playground isn't going to change that in the parent. My kids will gain freedom by going to summer camps where they will swim in lakes/ go creek walking, build a campfire, sleep in cabins without parents. I don't see it that different than what the article is painting for kids to be kids. And the kids here already roam the neighborhood at a pretty young age. James will be tagging along before I know it.

MeatballEsq · March 2014

I haven't read the article yet. I don't consider myself to be a helicopter parent. I actually think I'm pretty relaxed, but we were watching Crisis on DVR yesterday and they mentioned how the many of the kids (of politicians, diplomats, etc) have a GPS tracker embedded in them. I literally said out loud "we need to get one of those for Connor." Hmm guess I am! FTR, my husband said he would divorce me over it.

Flamingemu · March 2014

Hyaline said:
Opening a slightly different can of worms--is it truly less safe now than it was 20, 30, 50 years ago? I would disagree with that. Abductions, serial killings, all that shit happened 50 years ago, too--and streets weren't necessarily any safer in terms of cars. And FFS, over a century ago you might die from a broken bone--so some of the things we cushion our kids from were actually more dangerous in a time when kids weren't so protected. So--have things changed, or has our risk tolerance changed? Is that a good thing?

I agree to a point, which is why I ended up saying real or perceived. I think there are more crimes known now - like hmp said 24 hour news cycle and all.

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