Yikes....my kids will be 10 years apart when the 2nd is born this year!--Help!

yayo76 · March 2014

Yes ladies...we finally did it and the 2nd one is finally on its way after countless tries. Any advice any mothers who can lend a word of advice would truly be appreciated. I feel like I am a mother for the first time all over again and it doesn't help to keep thinking that I will be 50 when this child is 10!

Ylvelill · March 2014

Not sure what kind of advise you are looking for

I will be 51 when the twins hit 10.

Klavanga74 · March 2014

Hi! I can't give advice, but can tell you that you aren't alone...I have a boy who will be 10 and a girl who is 12. I'll be 40 in September. So...I'm in your shoes. Does your son/daughter know yet? Are they excited? We can support each other through it! From the perspective of having an infant and a 2-yo, I can say that I'm expecting this to be easier. I have two capable helers this time. I can run to the store if I need to without the baby, extra hands to hold the baby, etc. it'll be a different world!

QOTR · March 2014

Congratulations! If it helps, my sister & I are eight years apart, but still close. It didn't seem strange to us kids - it was just the way it was.

2redtulips · March 2014

Like QOTR, my sisters and I have a fairly big age gap (I am younger than them by 6 and 8 years, respectively), and we always have been and still are close.

I think, at 10, your older child is likely to be pretty excited about entertaining and playing with a new sibling. Have you told him/her yet?

ETA: Oh, and I'll be 49 when my LO is 10. I think we'll just be cool older moms, that's all! Plus, I think it's pretty common, so we won't be alone in that by any means.

yayo76 · March 2014

Thank you for getting back to me. At this point , any and all encouragement helps. My husband and I have been trying for the last 5 years with more unfortunate situations than I would like to count. Thank you again for commenting. Now I know I am not alone.

yayo76 · March 2014

This site has truly been a blessing. Thank you for replying. I look forward to sharing my journey with all of you. More updates to follow.

moroccojade · March 2014

Congratulations!

Ours will be 7 years apart of this one sticks... I think it will be ok.

Although.... I wish **I** were a few years younger, too.

nikkiuk · March 2014

@yayo76 - You're absolutely not alone. I will be 53 when this one is 10 years old. My daughter will be 21 when he's born in July and my son has just turned 16. There's no end of big age gaps on here. Seems to me that the older mom is far more common than many realize. We are totally much cooler, wiser, financially waaaaaay more stable and all round awesome.

TypoJenny · March 2014

My son will be 18 yo when the baby is born... It's such a strange thought that my son will be packing up to go to college while I'm setting up the nursery.. No empty nest here... LOL

megaddie · March 2014

My mom was 39 and my dad 49 when they had me in 1976. My siblings are 16, 15, and 10 years older than me. I love my life and the fact that I had the best of both worlds (only child and siblings!). I also have a niece who is 6 years younger than me--more like a little sister. I'm very close with the next oldest sibling--we even teach at the same school!
The only thing that has sucked is my parents died pretty young--my dad at 79 and my mom at 69...but my dad had diabetes and didn't take care of it and my mom had (quite literally) a broken heart after that. Not a normal situation, though....they both should have lived much longer.

mccall0113 · March 2014

My oldest will be almost 13. My stepson will be 17

aherman2778 · March 2014

My oldest is 16 and my youngest will be 12 when this one is born in July.

flyinmommy · March 2014

My youngest will be almost 8 when this LO gets here, but the way I look at it is that I have lots more helping hands

Rainee10 · March 2014

Ok- here's my two cents, and that is all it is worth, literally.

I had my son when I was 18, my older daughter when I was 21, and nine years later had my (then) youngest. Fast forward 10 years, and I am doing it all over again! My oldest son will be 22, my oldest daughter will be 19, and my youngest daughter will be 10 when this little guy will be born in early June.

This is what I know: my older kids were great when I had my daughter. They were excited and scared, especially my oldest daughter, who actually stressed herself out so much (at 9 years old) that she developed alopecia areata and had to get shots in her scalp to regrow her hair. All that was because her brother had teased her about not being "loved" once the baby came. Once I found out about it, he certainly felt the bite of my wrath. Assured her that her place was secure, got the shots, hair grew back, is an awesome big sister.

We never really had any problems with them not wanting to babysit or grumbling about helping out, I guess I am really lucky that way, but then I'm also not the mom who is going to freak out if the dishes aren't spotless the first time. That's what the sink is for, you just throw it back in for the next go around.

I guess the only thing you have to watch for is that you make special time for each kid, but that goes for all kids, I think, no matter what the gap age is. You might find yourself defending your parenting choices to the older kids at some point, when they bring up the "I didn't get to do that when I was that age", but I still manage to shut them down with reminders of what they did get to do, and continue to do that the little kids don't. That pretty much takes care of that.

Good luck with your growing family, and wish me luck on mine, too. Can't wait to see if my youngest daughter will be as good of a big sister. So far, no hair loss, so I think we are in the clear!

As for how old everyone will be- yeah, I'll be 58 when he graduates, but my oldest will be 40! Good thing I already prepared him to be ready to pay for college- I'm going to need my money for retirement!

capstone52501 · March 2014

You are in good company. I had my son (24) when I was 17, my daughter (11) when I was 30 and I had our son (11 months) when I was 41.

My oldest doesn't live at home anymore but our daughter loves his little brother. She is my extra set of hands and eyes. She is a huge help and is always willing to watch him so I can go outside to feed the horses, chickens, and cats.

We would love to have one more but at my age I am not sure.

shaylagirl · March 2014

My son will be 16 and my stepson will be 12.

Daddy will be 47 and I'll be 37. Sooo, he'll be 57 and I'll be 47 when WeeNut is 10.

Although, I enjoy watching his eyes bug out of his head when I tell him how old he'll be when the WeeNut turns 18. THAT's always good for a giggle.

SurpriseAt39 · March 2014

My DD is 12+ years old.
DS1 is 16 months. And DS2 is 11 days.

All is well here.
I'll be 41 in just over a month. I'm not worried about anything.

DD loves her little brothers. And they love her.

We may need a bigger house in the next few years, but for now, all is well.

Best of luck to everyone with big age gaps.

roundabout2 · March 2014

I have a 12 yr old, 10 yr old, 8 yr old and a 18 month old.. and another on the way.

I can tell you it's great. My older kids ADORE their little sister and my 12 yr old and 18 month old have such a special relationship. And they are all thrilled (more so than I was at first lol) with the new baby on the way.

NavyMom77 · April 2014

Hi there! DS turned 8 a few days after DD was born. These are my only two so there feels like a BIG gap sometimes! I've realized there are advantages and dis-advantages to each kind of age difference. DS adores his little sister and she is madly in love with him. We made sure to have his birthday party several weeks before my due date just so we minimized the chances I'd have to miss it, and my mom was here to make his favorite birthday dinner so we could all make a big fuss over him even with a 5-day-old at home - basically make sure he feels he is still important, too! A big advantage to the age gap is that he is not jealous of her at all. When he gets upset because she needs a lot of our attention, he gets mad at US, not her. He is more rational and able to understand and reason with.

It does feel a bit like starting over, but having gone through it before I appreciate so much more of it now. Enjoy every moment and good luck!

2ndGeneration · April 2014

Oh I didn't realize I hadn't chimed in here!

I am 42 and my dc are 21, 17, 16, 13 and 10. Dh and I decided we wanted 'just one more' : ) I have to say-the kids have been a huge help to me as I am in the midst of morning sickness, it's so much easier than when everyone was little and I was wiped out for weeks at a time.

Dh's brother and some of our friends are grandparents already!

StacyM0274 · April 2014

I get it! My dc are 25 & 18. Next month is when we will start ttc. So I'm pretty nervous about everything.

BuffaloGal75 · April 2014

My sisters and I are 7 and 14 years apart and we are all close! In fact, I am the oldest and my youngest sister and I are VERY close! She always jokes that she has 3 mothers

Murr2014 · April 2014

My oldest is 16 and we are due June 18th. Her big brother and daddy are going to be wrapped!

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Yikes....my kids will be 10 years apart when the 2nd is born this year!--Help!

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