STMs

pistolpackinmomma · March 2014

I have a question. How crazy am I to think I can do it alone until DH can get to the hospital? Provided his schedule doesn't change we're looking at 16 hours if he has to drive or a 2 hour flight and 2 hour drive so best case scenario 4 hours. And how long should I wait to call and tell him it's go time? I want to be able to give him enough time to get home (or at least as much of a chance as possible) but don't want him leaving too early for a false alarm. I never had labor with DS (scheduled c/s) so is the whole second baby comes faster thing still applicable? Looking at only 7 weeks to go has me a little freaked. Can ya tell? My parents will stay with DS at my house so if needed my mom or dad could be there in probably 5-10 minutes.

Junebug060609 · March 2014

16 hour? As soon as there's no question it's real.

Ultimately, if you have to go it alone, you will make it happen. Any chance one of your parents could stay with your kid and the other could be with you until DH arrives?

glowworm0166 · March 2014

I assume you have someone to drive you to the hospital, right? I wouldn't try that one on your own. Do you have someone who can be with you (and that you'd want with you) in the hospital until DH gets there? Looking back I think I could have handled the first 9 hours myself but the last 6.5 I needed DH.

lbaker420 · March 2014

I'm sorry you have to go through that. That's stressful. I think what they say about "every pregnancy/labor is different" is true, but my first labor was 12 hours, and my second 2 hrs and 17 minutes. But the second time was without an epidural (not by choice!). Hopefully, if you are planning on an epidural, it will slow down your labor a bit and give your husband time to get there. Good luck!!

MrsT2008 · March 2014

I feel like I can't even give you an answer. My first labor was less than 10 hours, so even if I called MH the second i knew it was real, he probably wouldn't be close to getting there in time.

Where is he/what is he doing that he'll be so far away?

I'd probably have one of your parents stay with your son and the other be with you at the hospital.

MrsT2008 · March 2014

lbaker420 said:

I'm sorry you have to go through that. That's stressful. I think what they say about "every pregnancy/labor is different" is true, but my first labor was 12 hours, and my second 2 hrs and 17 minutes. But the second time was without an epidural (not by choice!). Hopefully, if you are planning on an epidural, it will slow down your labor a bit and give your husband time to get there. Good luck!!

I wouldn't count on that. Unless you get it too early, epidurals don't typically slow things down. If anything, my epi sped things up (allowed me to relax to dilate faster)

chillypenguin · March 2014

I think if he has the option to fly, that's definitely the better option and gives you a little more flexibility. I would call as soon as you realize it's real labor, and have him fly out if at all possible. I also agree with maybe having one of your parents stay with your DS and one with you, or a close friend to stay with you. I went to the hospital at 8 pm with DD (still technically in early labor), active labor started at 10 pm, and she was born at 10 am. So I'm not sure how the second one will go.

princesscays · March 2014

My labor was 5.5 hours from start to finish... ASAP. I was also induced and never thought I would be.... These things are unpredictable.

pistolpackinmomma · March 2014

MrsT2008 said:
I feel like I can't even give you an answer. My first labor was less than 10 hours, so even if I called MH the second i knew it was real, he probably wouldn't be close to getting there in time.

Where is he/what is he doing that he'll be so far away?

I'd probably have one of your parents stay with your son and the other be with you at the hospital.

Work. He works all over. Last year he was anywhere between Chicago and Tampa. Obviously he can't just take a month off and sit at home just in case so this is what we're left with.

I can have one stay with me and the other with DS just not sure if I want them there. My parents can sometimes stress me out. DH is about the only person ever able to really calm me down. And yes one of them will be taking me to the hospital at least. I drive a stick, no way in hell I will attempt that in labor!

pistolpackinmomma · March 2014

chillypenguin said:
I think if he has the option to fly, that's definitely the better option and gives you a little more flexibility. I would call as soon as you realize it's real labor, and have him fly out if at all possible. I also agree with maybe having one of your parents stay with your DS and one with you, or a close friend to stay with you. I went to the hospital at 8 pm with DD (still technically in early labor), active labor started at 10 pm, and she was born at 10 am. So I'm not sure how the second one will go.

We're hoping for him to be able to fly but need to check the airports near where he will be and where he will have to go back to when he goes back to work.

CamrynnsMommy · March 2014

With DD1 I was in labor for 24 hours, DD2 I was in labor for less than 3 hours. I definitely don't think he'd make it unless he flew.

I'd call the minute you knew it was real.

pistolpackinmomma · March 2014

Ok so sounds like maybe give him the heads up so he can start wrapping things up at work and work on getting back to his truck/calling whoever then have him wait until I get to the hospital to be checked to be sure before he actually leaves. That was what I was kinda hoping for but didn't know if once they admitted me if they might still send me home.

MrsT2008 · March 2014

For the most part, once you're actually admitted, they won't send you home. If they're thinking they might, they won't actually admit you. I was at the hospital being monitored for about 40 minutes before they decided to admit me and keep me.

pistolpackinmomma · March 2014

MrsT2008 said:
For the most part, once you're actually admitted, they won't send you home. If they're thinking they might, they won't actually admit you. I was at the hospital being monitored for about 40 minutes before they decided to admit me and keep me.

Good to know.

@kitchencolors‌ I wouldn't worry about false alarms if it wasn't going to cost us hundreds of dollars and precious vacation time for each false alarm.

pistolpackinmomma · March 2014

Kimbus22 said:

MrsT2008 said:

lbaker420 said:

I'm sorry you have to go through that. That's stressful. I think what they say about "every pregnancy/labor is different" is true, but my first labor was 12 hours, and my second 2 hrs and 17 minutes. But the second time was without an epidural (not by choice!). Hopefully, if you are planning on an epidural, it will slow down your labor a bit and give your husband time to get there. Good luck!!

I wouldn't count on that. Unless you get it too early, epidurals don't typically slow things down. If anything, my epi sped things up (allowed me to relax to dilate faster)

Yeah, this. Two days of pitocin only got me from 1-2 cm. Gave me an epi at 2 and I went to 10cm in a few hours.

Hoping for no epi.

honey740 · March 2014

everyone is different, but, with the time lag you are looking at, it is completely possible he may miss the birth.

jjones59 · March 2014

I'm with the other posters, I'd call right away. My parents were 6 hours from me (plus the 30 minutes it took my mom to get home from work) when I gave birth to DD, we call when we knew the hospital was keeping me and they were there by the time I starting pushing. Granted the first 6 hours I slept and relaxed I wouldn't take any chances.

pistolpackinmomma · March 2014

honey740 said:

everyone is different, but, with the time lag you are looking at, it is completely possible he may miss the birth.

I'm aware which is why I'm trying to figure out a back up solution and if I'm crazy for considering doing it 100% alone.

MrsT2008 · March 2014

As for doing it alone, I guess it depends. I understand parents getting in your nerves because that was one of my reasons for telling my mom she couldn't be in the room last time) but in the case of not having MH there, I think I'd let her in. Not because I would need the coach or anything but just because I feel like someone needs to be there just in case. If your mom isn't an option, I'd probably look into a doula.

cnbean · March 2014

Since you didn't go into labor naturally with your first, most likely you are looking at a more typical 1st time labor experience. With my 1st, I was in labor for 33 hrs from the time that I knew it was the real deal. Active labor was more like 12 hrs. Hopefully you will have plenty of time to give your DH the heads up before you need him there.

I would look into hiring a doula to have someone for sure there with you. Or have your mom come in. I never wanted my mom in the room with us, but DH got the stomach flu the night I went into labor and she ended up in there. As much as I thought I'd hate having her there, it was actually really nice.

sammy.k · March 2014

Will your doctor not induce considering the situation? Since my husband is in Minneapolis and I'm in Columbus we are setting an induction date for May 9th (6 days before my due date) so he can make it home. If for some reason I go into labor early (I went one week early exactly with DS), my parents will watch DS and my two BFF's will step in until DH makes it.

pistolpackinmomma · March 2014

My dr won't induce due to being a VBAC. I have to go into labor on my own. I have a RCS tentatively planned for 39w1d (our original plan because he doesn't like to do c/s much past 39 weeks) provided I don't go into labor first. If I go into labor on my own prior to that then I want to try for the VBAC. I could bump the RCS up to 38 weeks probably and just give up hope of the VBAC but I really would rather wait until 39 weeks unless LO decides to come sooner on his/her own.

sammy.k · March 2014

I see. I missed the VBAC part.

pistolpackinmomma · March 2014

Yeah. I know it's not an ideal situation but we're trying to make the best of it. Which now I'm starting to wonder if being team green was such a great idea. I don't want anybody knowing before my husband does. Craaaap.

MIZZOU527 · March 2014

I agree...call with the first sign! I'd also have someone on standby with you until he gets there. DD I started having contractions at 5:30 pm and she wasn't born until 2:45 pm the next day. DS was definitely faster. Water broke at home first at 6:30 pm, contractions started around 7:10 pm, and he was born at 1:06 am. MUCH FASTER!!!! I think you should have someone with you just in case.

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