I've never posted on this board before but I am feeling so alone. We've been trying for our second baby for almost a year and were seeing an RE and before I could do any testing I got a very surprise BFP, I was shocked and so, so, so happy and the DR's office started monitoring my HCG levels, I never had been tested with my first pregnancy but I guess my levels were low to start and never quite doubled on time (61 at 4.5 weeks, 111 after 72 hours, 161 48 hours later at which point I was told it was likely not viable and they would keep testing until my numbers went back down, and to watch for an ectopic but they thought it unlikely). Well I went back in today and after 5 more days my level was a little over 500, so they still don't believe its viable but are beginning to worry that I may have an ectopic pregnancy. So I have to wait another 8 days and I'll have an ultrasound and retest my HCG. I just feel like I'm walking around pregnant but not pregnant, and now actually hoping I will start to miscarry on my own instead of having to go through an ectopic pregnancy. Everyone keeps telling me at least I have my daughter and she'll keep me busy (which is so true, and I am so grateful for her) but everywhere I look everyone is having a baby, there were literally three Facebook announcements tonight and I'm just stuck in this holding pattern. The lady taking my blood today actually told me I'm just going to have to brush it off and keep going, I almost burst into tears right there. Has anyone had numbers like these and then miscarried naturally? Or been through an ectopic pregnancy?! How exactly do you keep from losing your mind? Why does everyone keep saying the worst thing at the worst time?