Blog Entry about 1st dentist appointment- wwyd?

LadyXaverian · March 2014

Not sure if @quittitchcapn1120 is here often these days, so I thought I'd put this out there for the masses.

TL;DR version: We had a really awful first dentist appointment with a pediatric dentist whose "bedside manner" was lacking. She didn't get a great look in Nora's mouth but says she has 8 cavities. Wants us to take her to children's hospital and put her under to have all 8 cavities filled at one time. Would you get a 2nd opinion?

Long, whiny version:

So, Nora got her first 2 teeth kind of early, at 4.5 months. We started brushing immediately with one of those little rubber brushes that fit on your finger. Around 10 months, we switched to a regular soft infant toothbrush. I would let her brush some and I would brush some, too. For the past few months, she absolutely will not let me near her teeth so I have been supervising her and making sure she gets in the back on top and bottom. I know she doesn't do it as well as I do, but for me to brush for her, DH and I have to restrain her and there is kicking, snot, spit, and even blood because she bites down so hard on the brush.

I don't want do that. I'd rather keep working to teach her how to do it. However, that's how the pediatric dentist we visited told us we should do it. Restrain her at all costs, pry her mouth open etc..

Also, the dentist said she has EIGHT cavities. One in each molar. I seriously feel like I have failed my child over this, but I am at a loss. She doesn't drink soda. Juice is extremely watered down when she has it. She never takes a cup of anything to bed with her. She doesn't eat those fruit chewy snacks or candy hardly ever. We don't keep them in the house. We brush her teeth twice every day, even if the methods haven't been great lately due to her lack of cooperation.

I feel like this dentist thought I was lying based on a couple of what sounded like sarcastic remarks, and she made a few comments also about how uncooperative Nora was that made me feel so sad. We worked so hard to get Nora ready for the appointment (watching videos, playing dentist at home etc..) but she just doesn't adapt well to those types of situations. She's the same way at the pediatrician and even when getting her hair cut.

Also, I feel like the exam was so quick and she could hardly see in Nora's mouth for the fighting that I find it hard to believe she could conclusively say she has a cavity in every one of her molars. She says Nora has "deep grooved molars" and also her acid reflux could have contributed to enamel wearing away and making her teeth more prone to cavities, but I still felt judged by her due to those sort of sarcastic remarks she made.

Anyway, I know this is rambling and mostly I just feel sad and like I've done something wrong. I guess my bottom line questions are:

1. How does this compare to your kid's 1st dentist appointment, if they have had one yet?

2. How do you brush your kid's teeth? Are they cooperative, or do you restrain them?

3. Would you seek out a 2nd opinion?

LadyXaverian · March 2014

Thanks @uconnhuskie007 All good things to consider. I will try to get her into someone else soon.

nanabanana06 · March 2014

uconnhuskie007 said:
@pobrecita - out of curiosity, did your pediatrician recommend taking your LO to the dentist at that age as "standard"? Our pedi hasn't recommended it for Sean yet (he's got 8 teeth), and while it was a long time ago, I think he said 2 (or even 3?) years old with DD.

I ask because I wonder if protocols are changing and my pedi is behind the times?

ADA says children should be seen by 1 year. I think the AAP also has the same statement.

Anyways, we just saw the dentist recently. I would see another pediatric dentist and go from there. However, some people are just more prone to cavities.

secretsout · March 2014

I would definitely get a second opinion, especially if they are talking about anesthesia.

My 2 year old hasn't been to the dentist yet, but will probably go along the next time my husband goes (the recommendation of the dentist).

Brushing here has its ups and downs. Sometimes we have to fight him but I also don't want to make it a huge battle so we just do the best we can.

As far as feeling bad, I would try not to. I'm not a dentist but my husband has a lot of dental issues. He dentist said that some people just have bad teeth. My husband takes impeccable care of his teeth, goes the the dentist regularly, brushes and flosses religiously and still has a cavity almost every time he sees the dentist. I didn't go to the dentist for a few years and had no cavities. I don't think you need to feel guilty because it sounds like you are doing the right things.

KMRR86 · March 2014

I would get a second opinion. Don't have guilt over this, some children are more predisposed to dental problems at no fault of the parent. My sd has terrible teeth and everyone has always been good about brushing hers. She has weak enamel, a dying tooth and has had multiple cavities. I think it's important to find a dentist that you're comfortable with and a second opinion can never hurt. GL.

Maebb · March 2014

I would get a second opinion. Sorry the appointment was rough. DS is 16 months and hasn't been to the dentist yet. We do brush his teeth, but he's somewhat uncooperative too. If your DD does have cavities, try not to feel too guilty (easier said than done) because it could be caused by things that are beyond your control.

I get what uconn was saying about how the dentist is probably more concerned with your DD's oral health than her comfort, but I would maybe "practice" at home with pretend dentist tools, continue being persistent about brushing her teeth, and try to find a pediatric dentist where you and your DD feel more comfortable.

jillyjill1026sr · March 2014

I would definitely get a second opinion. I worked for a pediatric dentist for a little over a year. She would never just declare a kid had 8 cavities and had to be put under. Please go see someone else.

Spin313 · March 2014

OP, I would definitely get a second opinion. Maybe from your family dentist...?

Both my dentist and ped said kids usually don't need to start dental appointments until three, if they have a good diet and brushing habits.

DS started at three and has been great at the dentist. DD just turned three and has her first appointment this week...fingers crossed that it goes smoothly.

littlestjerry · March 2014

@HilarityEnsued, you've described our toothbrush situation to a T. DS hasn't been to the dentist yet, but I have no doubt he will lose control when he has to go.

I agree with everyone about a second opinion. It can't hurt when you're talking putting your kid under, and 8 cavities does seem extreme when she's got the diet you've described.

Maebb · March 2014

@HilarityEnsued‌, could you please share the name of your pediatric dentist? I need to take DS, but given the way he flips his shit during haircuts and isn't cooperative with the teeth brushing, I'm nervous. It sounds like you survived it.

LadyXaverian · March 2014

Thank you, everyone, for everything you've shared and said to encourage me.

@Hilarityensued Thank you for sharing your struggles. I am going to ask around for some more pediatric dentist referrals. The one we went to WAS pediatric, but maybe just not a good fit for us. Not because of what she told us, but how she told us, if that makes sense. I do want that 2nd opinion, but we'll definitely get on it asap.

LadyXaverian · March 2014

HilarityEnsued said:

@sarahl77 are there other dentists within the same practice? Our practice has two main dentists. Maybe another one within that would be better.

No, she's the only one, but there are many pediatric dentists where I live, so I am sure we can find one that will work better for us.

flyingsaucer · March 2014

I would get a second opinion. When DS was 3 he went to the dentist. My insurance changed and 6 mos later we switched dentists to another reputable place. The second dentist saw 2 cavities and wanted them immediately fixed. It was crazy because he had just been 6 months before! I also did not like the new dentists bedside manner, so we went back to our original dentist, paid out of pocket and got her to give a second opinion. She was NOTHING. She's aid he had a "spot" on one tooth (like a stain) that we should watch, but she would not suggest any further work. We never went back to the other dentist and now pay out of pocket each time to see the one we trust, GL!

LoveActually4 · March 2014

I'd get a second opinion and an XRay. I'm sure the potential risks of an X-ray are far less than potentially unnecessary general anesthesia.

My DS broke his front teeth on a sidewalk at 2.5 and the dentist froze him and pulled out the remaining tooth fragments while he was awake (and restrained). We obviously have major dentists issues as well so I can empathize. I think the "right" dentist helps.

Good luck!

[Deleted User] · March 2014

This is probably too simplistic of a suggestion for your situation, but DD and I have a deal about tooth brushing: I get to brush her teeth while I sing the ABC song, and then she gets to brush her own teeth for the length of the ABC song. She used to fight us when we tried to hold her down, but this way she cooperates. It's worked for us so far.

wesleycrusher · March 2014

Your DD is a lot like me when I was younger- my mom was told the first time I was brought to the dentist that my teeth had "deep pits" in them and that I would have a lot of cavities. She had my teeth sealed twice and I had multiple cavities and root canals with caps put on my baby teeth. I wasn't knocked out- I definitely remember having them done (and lots of screaming). My adult teeth were the same, I think I pretty much have cavities in all my molars filling all the pits. I haven't had a cavity in years, though, since they were all filled, so I do think it really was the shape of my teeth.
No amount of brushing would have fixed it, so don't beat yourself up about it.

LadyXaverian · March 2014

@overture I will try anything. Thank you for the suggestion. Sometimes it is the little things that makes a difference.

@awesomesauce123 I hate that you could be describing my daughter's dental future, but it is good to know that sometimes it just "is what it is".

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