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Two Under 2
Bieny18
member
Co-sleeping Transition Before #2 Arrives
Bieny18
member
in Two Under 2
Anyone have advice as to how to get my 20 month old to start sleeping in her own crib the entire night again? I've created a monster by pulling her in bed with me once she starts to really lose it at 1am every night. Frankly, my feet are swollen at that point and pulling her in bed with me is most comfortable. Of course, this is only getting worse, not better! HELP me please!!!
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Re: Co-sleeping Transition Before #2 Arrives
OP, you could try rocking your LO back to sleep and see if she gradually increases the time spent in her crib. You could also try bringing her to bed with you and returning her to her crib once asleep. It won't happen overnight, just as CIO won't, but know you do have options. Will your daughter let your husband soothe her back to sleep? This doesn't work for us, but it may work for you, especially if him tending to her at that hour is something that becomes a habit.
Does she have any sort of a lovey or security item? Have you ever given her the chance to fuss and see what she does? It's not often and it's still a work in progress, but my son will usually sit up and let out a few yells, hold his bear and look around, let out a few more yells and will go back to sleep snuggling his bear. I get him when he begins to get upset because I don't want him to fully wake and he knows I will get him if he needs me, which is why he's beginning to soothe himself.
My only recommendation is if you are going to use CIO is to do it now and get it over with so your LO doesn't associate the new baby with why she's crying alone in her crib. I can't see your ticker and I have no idea how far along you are. Good luck and I hope something works for you soon.
If you're not nursing, my first thought is to involve DH in her middle of the night wakings. He can rock her, walk around with her, offer her a sippy of water, and comfort her back to sleep. If she won't fall asleep with him, decide on an arbitrary amount of time for him to *try* to get her back to sleep before you take over. After several days, she will likely fall asleep more and more easily for him. This will give you a break and will help get him involved which will be SUPER helpful when #2 arrives.
One thing that helps a lot of cosleeping babies when they move to their own room is to have a monitor that goes the wrong way, projecting sleep sounds from parents room into baby's room. She's used to sheets rustling and daddy snoring. Those normal night noises will help her sleep soundly.
Another thought would be that parents bed to crib is a BIG jump. I'm not sure how many months you have before #2 arrives, but you could do a crib-moving transition that makes it easier/gentler for DD. Start with her crib sidecarred next to your bed like this:
And try try try to scoot her into her own space once she's asleep. This will help accustom her to sleeping on the crib mattress, and then you can move the crib away from your bed, but still in your room, then into her room, over the course of a few weeks.
Another option you have is to discard the crib altogether and get her a floor bed that you can comfortably fit on with her (like a twin). This is what we did for DS. We didn't even own a crib! We bedshared until DS was almost 2 and then bought a twin mattress and placed it on the floor next to our bed. We got him cool train sheets and talked about his "big boy" bed. Then I started doing what I did to help him go to sleep when we bedshared, just in his own bed. For the first week I just slept there with him, then I started to get up once he was asleep and sleep in my own bed until his first waking, but spend the rest of the night sleeping with him. Now, if he wakes at all I still go to him (he's right next to our bed so it's very easy), but he really doesn't wake often, and if he does it only takes a moment to soothe him and then I can pop back into my bed. We plan to move his floor bed into his room this summer, but there's no reason you couldn't do this sore of thing in DD's room from the start!
One more alternative: are you 100% against cosleeping with 2? If she sleeps part of the night in her own space and part in your bed, is that the end of the world? It may be, and for some families that's not an option, but if you're sensing that she is just not ready for independent sleep all night, and you're not totally against bedsharing with 2, you might be able to take a more relaxed approach, and take the pressure off you and your DD.
Lastly, and sorry for the novel, it is absolutely NORMAL for toddlers to wake during the night. In fact, many children wake into their early elementary school years. It's OK; every child is different, has different needs for snuggles and/or nursing, and that is a good thing!
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My 18 month old wakes between 1a-3a about 4 nights a week. He has reflux. I just give him 1/4 cup water in a sippy and walk out. He might cry or whine but it is usually less than 1 min. The trick for me is the minute I hear him wake I go drop off water. I'm not sure he realizes he woke up