May 2014 Moms

Newborn and unvaccinated children

So I have a close friend who doesn't vaccinate her child nor does she even know which vaccines she did or did not get(she said she had some up too 4 months). Which vaccines should I verify she has as well as how long before I allow her around the newborn. My husband and I are provaccine and he will be vaccinated according to when the doctor suggests.
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Re: Newborn and unvaccinated children

  • IMO, if your friend doesn't know now which vacs her child has and doesn't want to vaccinate, I doubt she will verify them for you. She should do that for her own knowledge, not bc her friend has a newborn. How old is her child? Your baby will be around countless unvaccinated children in his life. Since you vaccinate, 
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  • I'd wait until at least all all the major series ones are given and finished (like pertussis)

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  • Her daughter is 3 I know the newborn will be around other children, but not in close quarter like with her. I watch her sometimes to help etc. at what age is that series done with? My sons almost 4 so I don't remember all the nitty gritty
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  • Her daughter is 3 I know the newborn will be around other children, but not in close quarter like with her. I watch her sometimes to help etc. at what age is that series done with? My sons almost 4 so I don't remember all the nitty gritty
    It's probably worth seeing your son's doctor and having a look at his records in that case. You can see what he had done and talk to the doc about current recommendations.
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  • kat8805kat8805 member
    edited March 2014
    Her daughter is 3 I know the newborn will be around other children, but not in close quarter like with her. I watch her sometimes to help etc. at what age is that series done with? My sons almost 4 so I don't remember all the nitty gritty
    Wait, wait, wait. You don't even know your own 4 year old's vaccine history, and you're expecting your friend to cough up the records of herself and 3 year old? Do you know your own vaccination history? Let's start there since you'll be primary care giver and all.
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  • I know we have both have had all our vaccines. I have his records I just don't have them out infront of me on a daily basis. We have gotten every vaccine the FDA reccomends including the flu every year. I was just seeing if anyone knew off hand before I went and got the safe out.
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  • When the new baby will get the final series etc
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    perhaps, you've heard of it?

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  • I typed it in, my question. Didn't think to type in CDC. Sorry for asking :)
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  • It's to each their own its everyone personally preference;however, I know my son is protected.
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  • Yeah I read the herd immunity portion while googling. Unfortunately the area I live in is very anti vaccines so if I were to go by that I couldn't let my son continue school or play at parks.
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  • Choosing to care and the mothers choice. I totally agree with the fact all
    Children should be vaccinated so we wouldn't have to deal with situations like this. Unfortunately not everyone sees that and everyone is entitled to care for their children in their way. Do I agree with her views on vaccinations not be a long shot, but it's not my place to say because it's not my child. I know for example someone recently stated they had chicken pox and she wanted to expose her daughter to it to it to get it over with. Do I agree no freaking way lol. I'm trying to find out the information I need to know for my newborn. I only watch her child once in a blue moon, but her daughter and my son are like bffs so we are around her frequently. That's why I needed to know for how long to keep my newborn away. Like I said for some reason the area I live in has a bunch of
    Anti vaccination parents don't know why but we do. None of the preschools even require vaccination records. Execpt for on base which is always full.
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  • Not entirely sure what yall expect her to do about the anti-vax movement in her area. There's only so much informing you can do before you have to accept that we don't allow children to be vaccinated against their guardians wishes. At a certain point you do have to accept that you cannot always change their minds and make the decision to live in a vaccinated bubble- or interact with the stupids lurking out there locally. 
    To address the original question I would wait for at least the first round of shots to expose a newborn to a healthy unvaccinated child who frequents schools or daycares, and I would be very firm about not allowing a sick, unvaccinated child into my home for a very long time. There's no real way to avoid the unvaccinated out in the wild though, so at some point you will have to either be a SAHM and homeschool to sufficiently shield your child from the snotty noses of the world... Or accept that there's always a risk and practice good hygiene and proper vaccination schedules for those who you can control.
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  • @ThereBeDragons I realize there isn't much she can do about it but I would expect that someone living in such an area would be a little more concerned and knowledgeable about their own and their child's vaccinations. I'd just expect less of a "whatever, man" attitude about the whole thing.
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  • IBackBevoIBackBevo member
    edited March 2014
    When is it safe for your infant to hang out with an unvaxed kid? Never.

    Your child will not get all of his vaccines (i.e. the full series) until 4-6. Even at that point, some people don't develop immunity at all. About 15 percent of people who contract measles are partially or fully vaccinated. same thing with Rubella. Some people never develop immunity. My MIL is one and there are several on this board.

    When is your child relatively protected? That is probably a question for a physician. Generally speaking, I would say probably after she has her 18 month shots since she will have had most of the vaccines in the series BUT I would not if it were my kid since she still can get sick.

    And if you think it won't happen to you, you are dead wrong. My son got all of his vaccinations on schedule and still got Rubella. It was horrible.He was partially vaccinated (I.e. 1 of 2 in the series) but not fully vaccinated since he was only 15 months and the second vaccine is not until 4-6 years.
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  • Also, I am not sure where you live, but in my state (and most states), kids do have to be vaccinated before going to a childcare facility. The facility
    IF DX: DOR & Fragile X pre-mutation carrier
    2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
    BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
    Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
    BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014

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  • According to our lovely laws there really isn't anything I can do. Until there is a law set in place to make vaccinations mandatory there is nothing I can do for another mothers personal prefrance on what she does with her own child, but to try and protect my own children. I live in Deep South ga, but a military town so it's a lot of people from all over. It's like saying that I should stand up to mother who formula feed their child instead of breastfeeding. Yes I agree that breast is best, there is nothing I can do but tell the mother my view on it and be done with it. Me getting pissy about how she raises her child and what or what she doesn't do for their child's upbringing is not going to change a thing. Everyone is very hippie anti drigs(medical) around here it's very strange to a point where I say I vaccinate my child I get bombarded with all that anti vaccine nonsense.
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  • To answer your question, next time you see your OB ask him/her. We are not Dr.'s on this board. I wish there was one but the truth is all you will get are peoples opinions and like you said you need to do what is best for your child. So ask your Dr. and be ferm with the friend who has not vaccinated her child on when it will be safe to have them over for a play date after your NB is here! You need to do what ever you can to keep your child healthy. And don't listen to any BS she spouts out to you after you tell her that her child is not welcome around your NB until it is safe.
  • Yeah I asked my ob she said she believed it was 2 months I would call my sons dr, but because I'm military it doesn't work that way. I have to call a 1800 number etc etc. believe me I don't believe any of her nonsense haha she was shocked when I got my flu vaccine and tdap, but we didn't fight over it. I think she knows better to bring it up with me. Yeah I think ill have to have a sit down talk with her once the baby is here and I get concrete conformation from his pedi. I just figured I'd ask see if anyone experienced this and already knew :).
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  • @ Divine chaos - I don't think what your OB is telling you regarding 2 months is correct. A child doesn't even get his or her first MMR shot until 12 months. And several of the other vaccines are not given until 12+ months. MMR = measles, mumps and rubella. That means prior to this first vaccine your child has no immunity whatsoever to measles...and there have been outbreaks all over the us with people dying.

    I also don't think comparing breastfeeding to not vaccinating is even slightly comparable. There are many reasons women can't or don't breastfeed and the health implications are nowhere comparable to not vaccinating. in fact, recent research shows that a lot of the health benefits of breastfeeding have been overstated.
    IF DX: DOR & Fragile X pre-mutation carrier
    2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
    BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
    Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
    BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014

    May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
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  • There is a Measles outbreak in the NYC area. It's affecting at least 3 children under the age of 5 right now because they don't get the first shot until 12 months old. One of the children is a 3 month old. You can do what you want, but if I know someone has not vaccinated their child, my child won't be around them for quite a while.
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  • So I have a close friend who doesn't vaccinate her child nor does she even know which vaccines she did or did not get(she said she had some up too 4 months). Which vaccines should I verify she has as well as how long before I allow her around the newborn. My husband and I are provaccine and he will be vaccinated according to when the doctor suggests.
    Back to the question, if it were me, I honestly wouldn't allow my newborn (or four-year-old) around an unvaccinated (or partially vaccinated) child.  I don't care if it were my BFF, I would not allow my child around her child.  The health and well-being of my child trumps all.  


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  • No way is 2 months correct my son is 20 months and he still has more vaccinations to go. Formula feeding and vaccinations aren't even in the same ballpark. I had to formula feed because my milk never came in but I sure can control who comes in contact with my children. I would strongly suggest not watching your friends unvaccinated child until at least after two. 
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  • Your OB - a cooch and fetus Dr - is not the authority on your child's health, past delivery. You would need to ask ANY pediatrician. I'm not sure how asking your pediatrician requires any insurance/military involvement, just pick up the phone and ask the nurse FFS.
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