Ideas for what to say at a play date? Anxiety :(

anitaflora · March 2014

So I'm about to leave to go to a dinner/ movie play date with a couple other moms at one of their houses. I don't know either of them very well. The one I believe knows a bit about my struggles since I've posted a bit about it on FB and she's friends with me on there. The other, the host, does not.

I know something is going to come up about if we ever wanted another one, or assuming we only wanted one, or ... Just something is going to come up about it. And I have this anxiety about it. What do I say? I'm never prepared and then get all flustered and end up rambling.

I hate this. I hate this anxiety.

So was just wondering if any of you fabulous ladies had any catch phrases or advice you might be willing to suggest?

Thanks!

Missa_g · March 2014

I personally have chosen to be honest all the time when people ask. I know most people don't mean to be insensitive, but it's truly no ones business when or if you're going to have a child. So I'm open about my struggles in hopes that it will make them think before they ask other women.

lauralew · March 2014

Missa_g said:
I personally have chosen to be honest all the time when people ask. I know most people don't mean to be insensitive, but it's truly no ones business when or if you're going to have a child. So I'm open about my struggles in hopes that it will make them think before they ask other women.

In this situation I would do/say something similar to what missa suggests. Mostly because this is a question that comes up a lot with moms to make conversation...and I could see the same person asking this question at future play dates just to fill the silence. With b/g twins I got a lot of "oh an instant family! You're done now right?"'and then they looked at me like I'm crazy when I said no/we'll see.

stefuge · March 2014

I agree with PP - you really have to say whatever you are most comfortable with. I try to be pretty honest. When people ask I say we have two boys, DS1 is 3 1/2 and DS2 would be 7 months. As missa_g said, it's nobodies business and I have nothing to be embarrassed and uncomfortable about. I am always polite, but I figure my response may cause them to think twice about asking those difficult questions again.

anitaflora · March 2014

Thank you so, so much ladies. Turns out it never came up

Both women were very nice and easy going and I was thankful it wasn't even an issue I had to worry about.

Only thing was seeing them with thier littler ones made me a little sad for sure.

Thank you again so much! I am definitely going to go with just being honest as best as I can if it ever does come up.

BootsOrHearts · March 2014

@anitaflora I don't have any useful advice but I wanted to tell you how happy it makes me to be hanging on the same board with you again. :-) now you go to PGAL at the end of the month and save me a spot k?

anitaflora · March 2014

BootsOrHearts said:

@anitaflora I don't have any useful advice but I wanted to tell you how happy it makes me to be hanging on the same board with you again. :-) now you go to PGAL at the end of the month and save me a spot k?

Oh Boots, my friend, I am too. I am truly just so overjoyed for you and @Bookshelves and @RosiePeare and so many friends that are too many to name...that even though there are some days that are tougher than others, I am so glad - and always feel so blessed and lucky - to be able to be reconnected with all of you again on here.

And you bet I will save you (and anyone else) a seat if I am lucky enough to get over there!!!

XOXOXO

kbhaynes · March 2014

I agree with what @missa_g said. If anyone asks, I tell them about my struggle. I feel explaining my situation helps spread awareness, and also will make them think before they ask anyone else.

But if you want to dodge the question, if asked, I would say something like "I'll have to tell you all about it one day".

After reading the rest of the comments I see that you've already been to your play date. Glad it didn't come up, and seemed to go well

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