- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
May 2014 Moms
Country0202
member
Advice on how to Deal with not wanting people to hold baby?
Country0202
member
Second-time mom here, but any of you may run into this same problem. There are plenty of reasons for not wanting someone to hold your baby, I'm not talking all the time, I mean like when you need to leave somewhere or baby is about to eat or it just isn't the best time. For example- when my son was born, he had extremely bad colic that set-in around two-three weeks. So when I would go out, I would basically spend the entire time walking him, feeding him, trying anything I could to calm him down, and then as soon as he got to sleep, someone would insist on taking him. I know people want to hold your baby, but they would usually unwrap him from him swaddle right away, and then he would be right back to screaming and they'd pass him back off. As a first time mom, and mom who has getting zero rest, I really struggled with this, it was too much for me to handle. I loved passing him off when he was happy, but I basically ended up stayed at my house (or went places where I didn't know anyone) 24/7 because if I went somewhere, he got passed around so much, he'd never calm down.
I want my family/friends to get to hold the baby, of course, but there are times when you just don't want to hand that little bundle off. I'm afraid I ended up coming off as really rude to people, and hurt feelings (which, to be honest, I did what was best for me and baby, so it didn't bother me too much), but now that I'm near due, I'm so afraid of any of those awkward situations where someone wants to hold your baby and you just don't want to give them up, for whatever reason (person just wiped their nose on their hand, it's a five year old kid, you don't like them haha, they're sleeping etc, etc, etc whatever reason it may be). So, any advice on a graceful way to handle situations where someone wants to hold your baby, but you just don't want to let them??? Even if it's just because you want to hold them for a minute?
I want my family/friends to get to hold the baby, of course, but there are times when you just don't want to hand that little bundle off. I'm afraid I ended up coming off as really rude to people, and hurt feelings (which, to be honest, I did what was best for me and baby, so it didn't bother me too much), but now that I'm near due, I'm so afraid of any of those awkward situations where someone wants to hold your baby and you just don't want to give them up, for whatever reason (person just wiped their nose on their hand, it's a five year old kid, you don't like them haha, they're sleeping etc, etc, etc whatever reason it may be). So, any advice on a graceful way to handle situations where someone wants to hold your baby, but you just don't want to let them??? Even if it's just because you want to hold them for a minute?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Advice on how to Deal with not wanting people to hold baby?
09/23/11 - Married DH
04/01/13 - BFP at 4wks
05/30/13 - MMC - BO @ 12wks 5d
08/29/13 - BFP @ 4wks 4d
09/17/13 - 7wks 2d - Normal HB Detected! Baby measuring perfect for dates and positioning!
10/23/13 - 12wks 3d - Perfect NT scan! HB 167 & baby wriggling, waving & yawning!
12/17/13 - 20wks 2 d - We're having a beautiful baby girl! Go Team Pink!
05/03/14 - Bobbie Gloria was born at 39+6 weighing 6lb 14oz!
Be honest! I had a friend who didn't let me hold her baby during a social event because she didn't want to pass her little boy around, have him get grumpy, and then have to leave. She later apologized to me if just in case I had gotten offended. I wasn't. She told me why, and considering it is her CHILD I will respect her decision.
That One Gal From Alaska
This. If people are coming to visit, I'm not sure how you can politely tell them that they can't hold the baby when that's really the reason they're coming to see you.
LCT - 5.15.14 ~ 9lbs, 22.5 inches
Just breathe. A few minutes won't harm anyone and the other 95% of the time the baby is all yours.
What I mean is those awkward situations that are less rare. For example, one person I didn't always want to hand off my son to was our neighbor who is quite pushy and would frequently (I'm talking multiple times a day) show up and ask to take him, and it just wasn't always the best time. I'm one of those people that can never tell people no, so I'm just trying to figure out a better way to handle times like that. Does that make sense? I've never been good with words haha
Seriously. Not a big deal. Don't over think this.
I already know I'm going to be uneasy because I have allergies and sensitivities. I worry my daughter could, too. And, frankly, it will stress me out if she has reactions because people don't wash their hands or have food or something on their clothes and I don't know what she's reacting to.