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PPA/PPD check in

nancy30005nancy30005 member
in Parenting
Has this been done recently? If so, my apologies. I'm all over the place. 

I'm a hot mess. 

Tell me you ladies are doing great and what's working for you. :)

((((hugs)))) to all. 
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Re: PPA/PPD check in

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  • myatalamyatala member
    Hugs to everyone. I'm struggling to get out of bed some days but taking my medication more consistently so not as bad as last month when I was struggling with lots of intrusive thoughts. I've cooked dinner a few times lately and that's always a good sign.
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  • my5sonsmy5sons member
    I've been dealing with depression for many years now, so all the PP hormones make me 10 times worse than I already am. I've tried all kinds of different meds (plus plenty of counseling) and what has worked best long term for me is Wellbutrin xl, 300 mg. My genius PCP decided at the end of this pregnancy, back at the beginning of Jan. that I really needed to lower my dose to 150 and refused to renew my prescrip. for 300. I was upset about it but figured I'd just try to deal with it, even though I had a feeling it was going to be a problem. And it was. So at my 6 wk PP checkup with my midwife I talked to her about it and she put me back on 300. I'm not really feeling any better yet but I know it takes time. It's just frustrating. It's not like Wellbutrin is this 'magic' cure for me. It just works better than anything else I've tried. It makes life easier for my family so I'm more tolerable to be around. I'm so tired of being so impatient and feeling like my nerves are completely shot. My anxiety is through the roof. And I'm just tired, all the time. Of course, nursing a newborn around the clock probably contributes to that... ;)

    Depression just sucks.
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  • nancy30005nancy30005 member
    my5sons - I'm so sorry. The wellburtin cycle has been crazy for me as well, but I don't have a nursing newborn. Give it time (I know you're 6 weeks PP, but your hormones are jacked.)

    Keep on keeping on. I understand your frustration and your impatintnousness. I get pissed at my kid for eating loud. I thought that'd stop on meds.  Nope...

    Thanks y'all for your replies. It's nice to hear from you guys and I'm giving you all lots of hugs and love-tits. (Love tits = hugs. Not "yay, you feel like shit!."

    XOXO
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  • nancy30005nancy30005 member
    @pobrecita - I'm sooo sorry! (((hugs))) I hope this is as painless as possible for you guys and for her. 

    @megalamillion - girl, get on that new plan and take advantage. My insurance was awesome when I was working. Now my H's is extremely shitty. I need to see someone, but right now I have y'all.

    @myatla - (mylanta is always what I'd like to type). Hang in there, sister. Dinner is always a good sign. PM me anytime. I totally get it. Promise.
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  • Ardmhs83Ardmhs83 member
    edited March 2014
    Hugs to all you ladies!
    So glad to see this today! I'm a wreck right now.  I've been doing so well and almost off meds because we were going to TTC #2 next month.  The last few nights my head has been spinning, racing thoughts keep me up at night.  Anxiety and insomnia was my worst PPD/PPA symptom.  This shit hasn't happened to me in over 2 1/2 years!  So I called my therapist and psychiatrist and they said maybe I should bump up my one med that helps control my racing mind to help.  I have also been totally off my klonopin too and have had to use some the last couple nights...such a downer.  
    I think this is stemming from me being sooooo anxious about trying for another baby.  I feel I'm on a time crunch to get off meds and it wasn't working in my favor.  I've decided to give myself another couple months and I'm considering staying on my medication while pregnant.  I have to come to terms with that right now, and it is really hard.  I just want to ball up and cry right now.  I'm not as bad as I was and I am able to cognitively reason with myself most of the time, but at night it is hard.
    F*ck you anxiety...I hate you! :(   

    Edit for spelling error...
    PPD/PPA Mom...it has been super hard, but I'm making it! Slow steps...
    Mom to Carter (6), and Calianne (1).  
    Proud VBAC, natural birth, breastfeeding, cloth diapering momma!


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  • wiggyslilsiswiggyslilsis member
    *hugs* to everyone who needs them!

    @CTGirl30‌ I am so glad to hear you are doing better even if you have had a couple stressful days. Hope you find an amazing dress today!

    I have been doing better since the sun has come out and I have a few things to look forward to (a Vegas trip, new boobs, and moving back into the house we own). On the other hand, those things are making me stress out about money even more.

    I think my PCP lost the referral to the psychiatrist because it has been over a month and I haven't heard anything and I didhear from the endocrinologist that was on the same referral list last week. I don't want to call and figure it out. I hate calling about these things. Also, iI have been feeling good lately. I know it is a vicsious cycle though where I don't go in because I feel better and then I have to start from square one when I start feeling anxious again. Also, I want to go swimming this summer with DD and I am going to need help with that.
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    Our Little Raspberry Born 3/27/12
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  • nancy30005nancy30005 member
    Ardmhs83

    I'm so sorry. Sending you lots of hugs. Please don't be too hard on yourself. I never had anxiety until DS, but I did suffer from depression for years. I was able to take Zoloft (I transitioned from Tofrenil when TTC) throughout my pregnancy and other than being an asshole-three-year-old on occasion, DS is perfect. 

    PM me if you need anything!

    @CTGirl - I feel like you need a girls' night/weekend. Just some time to fucking sit and chill. Invite me if you want. ;)

    @wiggylilsis - I feel the same about the sun. Today is so much better for me than my sad, sad, helpless rainy days previous. Do you get anxiety about the water or being in your bathing suit?

    ((((hugs to everyone today))))

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  • wiggyslilsiswiggyslilsis member
    @nancy30005 I mostly have anxiety about DD and the water but also haven't worn a swim suit since before I got pregnant with DD and she is two next week. I just bought a one piece swim suit from Victoria Secret that doesn't make me feel frumpy and gross so I am hoping that will help about the self consciousness.

    I just get panicky having her around the water. Like I am not capable of handling stuff if it went wrong. I am not confident with her around the water. I feel like I cannot relax because it would take like no time for her to disappear and be gone forever. We went on a play date at a lake last year and we stood in the water and I was a mess by the time we left but I was glad I pushed through and made it happen. I also worry that her sunscreen is coming off and not working so I am constantly putting more on.
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    Our Little Raspberry Born 3/27/12
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  • wiggyslilsiswiggyslilsis member
    @nancy30005 I mostly have anxiety about DD and the water but also haven't worn a swim suit since before I got pregnant with DD and she is two next week. I just bought a one piece swim suit from Victoria Secret that doesn't make me feel frumpy and gross so I am hoping that will help about the self consciousness.

    I just get panicky having her around the water. Like I am not capable of handling stuff if it went wrong. I am not confident with her around the water. I feel like I cannot relax because it would take like no time for her to disappear and be gone forever. We went on a play date at a lake last year and we stood in the water and I was a mess by the time we left but I was glad I pushed through and made it happen. I also worry that her sunscreen is coming off and not working so I am constantly putting more on.
    image

    Our Little Raspberry Born 3/27/12
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  • wiggyslilsiswiggyslilsis member
    I am sorry @lisajay09 I don't know if I could live in a home with a pool. I don't even handle bath time with DD.

    *hugs* I hope your new meds help!
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    Our Little Raspberry Born 3/27/12
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  • wiggyslilsiswiggyslilsis member
    So glad to hear you are doing well @regalmama I have been thinking about you.
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    Our Little Raspberry Born 3/27/12
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  • meaglamillionmeaglamillion member
    Just checking back in, doing much better today. I think how I was feeling had a lot to do with af showing up. It's only my second pp af and felt just crazy and ragey. I think I will set appointment to get that sorted out. I was definitely not in a good place.
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  • wiggyslilsiswiggyslilsis member
    Glad to hear you are doing better @meaglamillion‌ thanks for the update! I hope you can find a solution to the feelings before AF
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    Our Little Raspberry Born 3/27/12
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