What would you do?

ttc23 · March 2014

So we had 19 embryos fertilise and 19 remained on day 2. On day 3 we were down to 9 embryos and we got the call today to say that we only had one 8- cell embryo on day 4. One. And it's behind. The embryologist didn't sound confidant that it would catch up by tomorrow but our doctor still wants us to make the 8 hour round trip for ET in the morning (we'd have to leave today) if the embryo doesn't arrest. I honestly don't know if I can do it. Over 3 fresh IVF's plus 2 FET's and another 2 years of trying we've never had a BFP. Thats over 50 eggs and around 30 embryos from IVF that have never made it. There must be something wrong with our embryos. My gut is to see if this 8 cell develops any further any if my some miracle it does then they can freeze it at day 5 or day 6 and then transfer it next month. If it doesn't divide then do we really keep going or do we need to look at other options? e.g. Embryo adoption? I need to call them with my decision in 2 hours so if anyone has any advice about anything please let me know. We are both devastated right now...

Grateful&Thankful · March 2014

I am so sorry. This has been a long journey for you. It is such a personal decision but if it were me, I think I would wait to see what this embryo does and freeze it if you can. It sounds like you have the ability/means to do another cycle so I would definitely regroup before going into another cycle. You grow and retrieve so many eggs. I see you even have tried intralipids. How were the grades of your embryos in previous cycles?

missmarypoppins · March 2014

I'm so sorry. You've been through so much. If it were me I would wait until it makes it to blast, freeze it and then regroup.

ttc23 · March 2014

Our first clinic the grades were 7 or 8 out of 10 for the ones we transferred but we only saw them on day 2. With this new clinic the embryos all looked good at day 2 as well (grades A,B,C) but got worse as they went to day 3 and 4. Our best one yesterday had 1/3rd fragmentation. That one stopped growing. It was only one that was 6 cell yesterday (day 3) that grew to 8 cell by today. The embryologist didn't give it a grade but didn't sound very optimistic so it mustn't have been great...

Grateful&Thankful · March 2014

ttc23 said:

Our first clinic the grades were 7 or 8 out of 10 for the ones we transferred but we only saw them on day 2. With this new clinic the embryos all looked good at day 2 as well (grades A,B,C) but got worse as they went to day 3 and 4. Our best one yesterday had 1/3rd fragmentation. That one stopped growing. It was only one that was 6 cell yesterday (day 3) that grew to 8 cell by today. The embryologist didn't give it a grade but didn't sound very optimistic so it mustn't have been great...

Have you done all the same protocols for all of your IVF's? I see from your siggy that you are unexplained. Did anything come back with your DH's sperm analysis or was he clear?

ttc23 · March 2014

Sperm has always been great. First IVF a down reg cycle with gonal-f. Second cycle down reg with clomid and gonal-f. This cycle antagonist with gonal-f, Menopur, HGH, testosterone priming, intralipid, dexatherosne, clexane, aspirin, and more.

ttc23 · March 2014

Yes I've questioned that a few times (re: sperm fragmentation) but have always been told its not a problem. I read that day 3 growth can be related to sperm more so than eggs. I will definitely ask about this. Thank you c

indianaalum · March 2014

HUGSS. I am soo sorr you are fgoing through this.

Did you ever do PGD testing? Perhaps that can tell if it is an embryo issue?

Grateful&Thankful · March 2014

I don't know how you and DH may feel about this but you can always try DS. You can use 1/2 of your batch of eggs for his sperm and then the other 1/2 with DS and see what happens in the lab. DS is cheaper than DE. You don't neccesarily have to txfr the batch with DS fertilized eggs (you can freeze and make your decision later) but it would be interesting to see if the embryos developed better with the DS. IF is weird. Sometimes the things last on your list end up giving you answers. I hope your embryo makes it to freeze. GL!

ttc23 · March 2014

Thanks everyone. We've decided not to travel to the clinic and instead will wait and see if the embryo progresses any further and then freeze it. We have discussed donor sperm but both me and my husband feel better about an embryo adoption for some reason. I don't know why it is just an emotional thing about my eggs with someone else. We have a lot to think and talk about ...

Grateful&Thankful · March 2014

You don't have to explain. I totally get it. Everyone has to do what's best for them. (((HUGS))) Please keep us posted on your embie. GL

beachy6 · March 2014

I'm sorry you had to make such a difficult decision. I think you made a great one though under the circumstances though.

As for further testing, I agree with the DNA frag test. My DH's sperm analysis has always been great. But, after our failed transfers, our RE recommended having the DNA frag test done. To our surprise, it was all kinds of messed up. It is treatable and the test is "cheap" compared to other tests. I think we paid $250.

Since your embryos are fine until day 3ish, I definitely think your DH's sperm need some more looking into. Best of luck to you and lots of prayers as you regroup and decide what to do next.

Deardra77 · March 2014

OMG!!!! I started to cry reading your post I am so so so so sorry u are going through this. There are no words. If it was me I would go through transfer so I'm not always wondering what if. I think by posted 3 hours ago so have probably already made your decision. I am sick for u, I can not even imagine how u must be feeling or what u r going through. It's all so very very unfair. Where to next is such a personal decision, so many factors to consider, your insurance coverage and finances, your feelings in adoption etc. if it was me in your situation, and to be quite honest I know I do not have the strength in me, for sure not, to have made it that far and tried as hard as u have. But if it was me I would look into embyro adoption. I have an older brother who is adopted so have the first hand experience of adoption and what an awesome gift it is so may be more open to it than others perhaps. You will fall in love with your kids no matter how your family comes to be. Sending u all my thoughts and best wishes, cherish ur husband and the love for u have for each other and the strength u have individually and as a couple to have made it this far.

ttc23 · March 2014

Thank you so much for you support and advice ladies. The embryologist did another check of our embryo 5 hours after the first check and it hasn't progressed. If by some miracle it develops tomorrow or the next day we will freeze it. It is definitely one of the hardest days of our lives coming to terms with the fact that we might not have biological children. It aches my heart just to type it. We will still see what our doctor says and I will ask about the sperm fragmentation test. @beachy6 can I ask what you did to treat it?

I honestly feel like I can't believe this is how our journey has turned out. I held hope each month for the past 3 years but now I feel in my gut that this is it. I will keep everyone posted but thank you again. It means so much to have this support xoxox

RunCC37 · March 2014

I'm sending you lots of hugs. Your story really resonates with me and reminds me of my own (except we've had a lot less eggs & embryos). After three ERs, we have only one blastocyst to show for it... It's hard to understand why this is happening, and it hurts so much. If this FET doesn't work out for us, it is most likely the end of our dreams for a biological child. We've discussed our next options, and I feel the exact same way as you in regards to using donor eggs/sperm (in our case, we'd need donor eggs). I absolutely spaz out at the thought of his sperm with some other woman's egg. It just feels fundamentally wrong to me (and also makes me feel so inadequate because it forces me to admit that my eggs are the problem).

I think you made a brave and wise choice to let your embryo develop further in the lab. We did a 3dt for IVF #1 with two poor quality embryos which resulted in a BFN. The other four embryos arrested at 4-5 cells. In my heart, I believe that the two we transferred arrested before making it to blastocysts, but we will never know. After seeing what happened for us in IVF #2 (none of our embryos made it past 1-2 cells), we switched to a new clinic that won't even do 3dt. Our past cycle, IVF #3, we had no choice, and waited on pins and needles for our final report. All of our embryos arrested except for the one that we are planning to transfer in April. As strange as this may sound, I feel better knowing that we got one to blast... if this doesn't work, then at least I'll know that we made it to this point even if it was only once.

Please keep us posted about your embryo. And I'm sending more hugs. IF sucks so much...

BankerBSN · March 2014

This may be a really dumb question, but can you do any testing on the arrested embryos? Maybe that will give you a better idea on what could be wrong.

kz's_girlygirl · March 2014

I am so so sorry you have been faced with this situation and these difficult decisions. IF is so unfair. Sometimes it feels like I am no further than I was 5 years ago when we started all of this

I hope your embryo makes it to freeze, but no matter what happens, I will be keeping you and your DH in my thoughts as you move forward.

pblge · March 2014

I just wanted to send you big hugs. This is a hell of a journey you've been through, and I hope your story has a happy ending soon. ((((hugs))))

Carol77B · March 2014

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this.

cls78 · March 2014

So sorry you are goi g through this.

poohniki · March 2014

I am so sorry. Do you know if your clinic looks for Smooth Endoplasmic Reticulum (SER) Aggregates? It's the only egg issue that would cause embryos to arrest. It occurs more often in women who get the higher doses of stims.

Thinking of you and sending you lots of hugs.

ttc23 · March 2014

The final embryo didn't make it.

I've never heard of SER aggregates but will ask- thank you @poohniki.

I asked about testing the embryos @BankerBSN after they've arrested but the embryologist said there was nothing they could do. Thank you for the advice x

RunCC37 · March 2014

big, big hugs @ttc23

LizBlue · March 2014

Sending big hugs. None of this is fair and I'm so sorry you were dealt this hand. Take care of yourself and know that we are here to listen and give internet hugs any time you need it.

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