Venting and any opinions are welcomed

Kara13360 · March 2014

So a friend of mine that is usually at our family functions informed that every time I leave early (which is always due to DS needing to go to bed) my mother and sister start talking about me and how I parent..... They discuss how it's stupid I leave early and how I shouldn't have DS control the time I leave. Also DS is a HUGE mommas boy and won't go to them. He only runs up to me. Also they think it's crazy I never let him cry.
My friend always sticks up for me saying, "it would be weird if he didn't want me and ran off and so on".
Well, I personally do not think I should force the kid to stay somewhere when he is screaming cause he wants to go to sleep. What else am I suppose to do??!!?? Also I love my child and he loves me too, is that so wrong? If they played with him then he would go up to them for attention. They never play with him! I just couldn't believe I am the topic of discussion when I leave and they can't tell me to my face how they feel! I don't even know if I should bring it up to them and if so, how? I feel like an outcast now....

I love my mommas boy and I guess he just has high expectations of people and thinks they should pay attention to him like I do....
WTF

ReeceFamily · March 2014

Wow. Have they had kids and just forgotten what it's like? Sounds to me like you are being a devoted mom, and your son has a healthy attachment to you. I say let them talk and keep doing whatever you are doing!

Kara13360 · March 2014

Thanks for the support. My sister has two kids but she never plays with them. She let them cry when they were little. They are 7 and 4 right now and are happy kids but they will even tell you that mommy doesn't play with us. But they don't even seem to mind.....

kelly0connor0213 · March 2014

i get the same BS from my family. I am lucky if DD makes it past 7:30. I always send her home if we are out.

you seem like a wonderful mom. try to brush it off and do whats best for you.

ohiodoxiemama08 · March 2014

That is so frustrating, I'm sorry mama.

I can also relate. I know my sister talks bad about me (part of it stems from her jealousy that I had a baby before her) and it can really get to me. She also shows little to no interest in my daughter. She's due with a son in May and I hope to be a better aunt to him than she is.

At the end of the day you have the right to parent your child however you feel fit. If they want to run their mouths that just makes them petty and immature. I would just keep doing what you're doing, if you have a healthy, happy child obviously it's working.

As much as it sucks taking the "high road" and being the "better woman" is what works for me. I so badly want to make nasty remarks in return but in the end it's not worth stooping to her level. Have confidence that you (not them) know what's best for your child.

DCKate · March 2014

Tune all of it out. I get this from my in-laws, who are awful to begin with.

Keep loving your LO and doing what you think is best!

spainy17 · March 2014

Tune it out, you are doing what you feel is right and meeting your child's needs. He knows this and that is why he is attached to you. It is healthy and it is wonderful to see a child bonded with his parent. My SIL and MIL did a lot of hands-off parenting and it shows. I parent completely differently and while it is not always easy to have an attached child it is a sign of trust and soon enough they will be telling us to leave them alone so I am soaking up all the adoration while it lasts.

And leaving early so your child can sleep at their regular time is usually a win win for both the child and parent, at least in our case. I don't want to have to struggle with an overtired kid just because I was selfish and wanted to stay somewhere. No one wins then.

Mom2anAngel2 · March 2014

My DS is a momma's boy as well, and I LOVE it. He always runs up to me for anything that he wants. I think that you hit the nail on the head about them not playing with him. My mom is great about getting down on the ground to play with all of the grandkids and they will all go to her, but they have no interest in associated with anyone who is sitting in a chair or on the couch.

I would totally ignore what they are saying (even though it does hurt since it comes from family). You should parent the way you feel is right and don't let anyone influence that. I parent completely differently from both of my sisters. I am glad that you have a great friend who stands up for you and lets you know what is going on behind your back.

ambmama · March 2014

My parents and family do the same thing with me. They say he's a mommy's boy like it's a bad thing. He stayed with them for a few days when he first learned the word mama and he kept crying saying mama - now they are convinced he doesn't want anyone else. I think you are doing the right thing. It's up to you if you want to bring it up - I'm pretty non confrontational so I would probably wait until I was about to scream haha. Good luck and keep doing what you are doing mama!

sekura · March 2014

Since you're welcoming all opinions (and I think the other two issues have been well-covered)...what do they mean by you won't let him cry? Because if this is "you give in to his every demand and always do what he wants", then if that is true it's a bad thing. I'm guessing they aren't the right source of information, but can you elaborate on that one?

Kara13360 · March 2014

I do keep my son happy. He might cry once a day if at all and it's always for a reason like a dirty diaper or teething etc... I do tend to his needs right away and I'm sure that's bad. I can tell you that because I have PPD it is very hard to hear him cry. It makes me anxious, sad, and angry when I listen to him cry. So yes I do give in to every demand but anytime that I have tried to ignore him I find a huge poop in his diaper or a tooth trying to come in. I never know if he is crying just for the hell of it or not.

Kara13360 · March 2014

He is never asking for unreasonable demands. He either wants diaper change, comfort, food, sleep or wants me to play. I don't give him cookies all day, lol. I don't think it's bad I don't want him crying but when my sister thinks it's crazy I may second guess if I am doing what I should for him. But I made this child and I am responsible for his well being and I want him happy all the time. You ladies are giving me great support! I feel more confident that I am being a good mother. ☺️
Thank you!

sekura · March 2014

Sounds like you're doing just fine, mama!

So far my best way of dealing with unnecessary crying or tantrums is by just pulling C into my lap and sitting with him (I call it "time in"). Anyone have any other ways of dealing with it?

Want a personalized experience?

Venting and any opinions are welcomed

Re: Venting and any opinions are welcomed

Choose Another Board

Search Boards