Please share your collective wisdom on the masses. What was the best advice you were ever given? Who gave it to you? And how long did it take for you to realize its wisdom?
Mine was that you gather more flies with honey than vinegar. It's a phrase that I've heard a million times but that I never really listened to until I read Dale Carnegie's "How To Win Friends & Influence People" this past year. I have been putting that advice to work a lot lately and I am finding that I am getting much better results at work and with others.
"Jump and a net will appear." I was going through a divorce of sorts and contemplating moving, changing jobs, letting go of three houses and basically changing my whole life. A friend shared that zen bit of wisdom with me and it's stuck with me ever since.
I jumped. It was the best thing I ever did. I am happier now in many ways than I ever was before.
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*I am no longer regularly posting on TB because of the fucked up debacle of Jan 2015 when administrators banned long-term members and mods with no notice and completely dismantled a community full of women who cared about each other. If you see me posting it's only to give support to a poster who needs it or to post something important enough that I need to say. I am no longer responding to anything other than issues that affect people who I care about*
37 years old, MH is 42
TTC since 2010; Dx Unexplained Infertility; possible male factor
August 2012 through June 2013: 6 IUIs with clomid and trigger shot, all BFNs
7/2013, Pregnant! Unmedicated--we were on a treatment break
8/20/13 no heart beat; 8/23/13 d&c
3/15/14 IVF #1: Lupron/Follistim/Menopur; ER 3/10 resulting in four transfer grade blastocysts, transferred one pretty blast and froze the remaining three. BFN.
Natural FET in May cancelled because the universe hates me my hormones were not cooperating.
6/24/14 FET #1: transferred two pretty embryos; BFN
8/28/14 FET #2: BFP, ended in Chemical pregnancy
Done with medical intervention and getting used to the idea of CFNBC.
Your life isn't your job. My dad told me that after I left my career and felt bad about going to retail to make ends meet. It took me a good two years to let go of my ego and realize I enjoy life more withoutthe stress Iput on myself.
My Dad once told me,"Don't let you avocation become your vocation." But he also told me to make sure my career was a result of my passion. Very hard to juggle between the two advices and how to allow both to collide. Regardless, my Dad is the smartest man I know and the one I turn to for any financial advice.
~ES~
~*~EVERYONE always welcome!!~*~
TTC #1 since October 2012
BFP #1 11/22/12 EDD 7/29/13 MMC 1/14/13, D&C 1/16/13 BFP #2 5/7/13 EDD 1/14/2014 Ectopic discovered 5/21/13, lost left tube Referred to RE, blood work done August 2013, AMH 0.27, all else normal, HSG clear
BFP #3 12/1/13 EDD 8/8/14, MC 12/24/13
January 2014: RE #2, blood work repeated, homozygous MTHFR c677t, SHG clear
BFP #4 4/7/14 EDD 12/15/14Our rainbow was born 12/6/14 at 4:26pm!
You can't take it with you. You will look back and wish you did this or that, not that you bought this or that.
Wait 24 hours. If I'm fired up about something I tend to wait a day to see if I still feel the same. Usually after that time I realize it doesn't matter.
"It's, not, where you are, it's where you're going, And it's, not, about the things you've done, it's what you're doing, now" TTC Journey Began 8/12 BFP #1 11/9/12, MMC/D&C 12/21/12 @ 9w2d, EDD 7/24/13 SAs: 2%-3% Morph - RE Official Diagnosis Unexplained BFN = IUI #1 (Clomid) | IUI #2 (Letrozole) BFP #2 4/19/14 = IUI #3 (Letrozole) Expecting Our Elf 12/27/14 ~All Welcome~
You have to accept your parents for who they are and let go of some of the bad stuff. I learned that and try to refrain from holding on to the past and negative emotions.
BFP #1 1/1/11 EDD 9/10/11 dx:no hb DNC on 2/2/11
BFP #2 12/28/11 natural m/c on 2/6/12 BFP#3 2/16/13 dx:ectopic on 2/27 (given methotrexate) HSG 6/13-all clear BFP#4 11/18/13 natural m/c on 11/23 IVF #1 (Natural IVF Cycle) May 2014- Cycle failed (embryo did not make it to blast)BFP#5-7/26/14 GROW BABY GROWIT'S A BOY DUE 4/5/15!
"Is it really worth it" I use this almost daily with my students when they do small things that may irritate me. I think to myself, is it really worth trying to fix or is it really not that big of a deal in the long run. I am not sure who gave me this advice but it has saved my life on several occasions.
"Sometimes Silence is the better part of Valor" Our BDE XO said this to me after I chewed out a CSM for being a condescending ass and he was butt hurt. I was right, but I should have been more tactfully polite in my reply or ignored him...but that just isn't me.
It's helped my communication skills when dealing with morons, mainly so I remain professional. But I can't say that it sank in right away, it took a few years and I still have to catch myself, pause, think, re-evaluate what I want to say and then speak.
Me: 34, DH: 32 TTC Since September 2012 Dx-PCOS, Anovulation, highly irregular cycles March 2013 Comid 50 mg+ TI #1: BFN April 2013 Clomid mg + TI #2: BFN IVM#1 Aug 2012: BFN 20 FEB 2014: CP IUI #1 Clomid 100mg 24 FEB 2014: BFN
"Choose joy". One of the greatest women I know has this as a tattoo. At first I didn't understand but now it helps me to let go of the stress and anger that I could dwell on if I didn't choose joy?
"The center holds."
It's a bit abstract I guess but my mom told me this back in college when I was first dealing with panic disorder. My depression was bad and she sent me an email reminding me that when my life seems to be falling apart, my core being, who I am, is still there and will stay strong. I often repeat that line to myself when I feel like I'm losing it. Love my mom!
Never loan money you can't afford to lose. My uncle told me this. My dad passed away when I was 20 and my uncle kind of assumed a fatherly role.
I'm don't think that is the best advice I have ever gotten, but it has applied to my life lately. Certain family members seem to think I'm a bank.
"You never know how you'll find the strength to do what you need to do until you have to do it."
It's not verbatim... My great grandma told my grandma this and she shared it with me last year through some tough medical issues with my son.
PG#1 - 3rd cycle BFP. Team Green. HELLP syndrome @ 34 weeks. Later diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, possible link to HELLP.
PG#2 M/C 3/14 - Surprise BFP 2/13. Beta's doubled every 52 hours from 3w5d-5w5d Viable pregnancy scan at 5w5d; 2nd u/s showed 2 days of growth in 7 but a HB of 120 3rd u/s on 3/10/14 had no HB and baby had only grown 7 days over 14 D&C 3/17/14 - complications - DX Retroflexed uterus, multiple tears to cervix
@blackbird818 - I showed too. Primarily steers, but I started with heifers.
PG#1 - 3rd cycle BFP. Team Green. HELLP syndrome @ 34 weeks. Later diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, possible link to HELLP.
PG#2 M/C 3/14 - Surprise BFP 2/13. Beta's doubled every 52 hours from 3w5d-5w5d Viable pregnancy scan at 5w5d; 2nd u/s showed 2 days of growth in 7 but a HB of 120 3rd u/s on 3/10/14 had no HB and baby had only grown 7 days over 14 D&C 3/17/14 - complications - DX Retroflexed uterus, multiple tears to cervix
@blackbird818 - I showed too. Primarily steers, but I started with heifers.
Very cool @AggieBeth06!! :-bd I showed mostly heifers but had a few steers through the years. Did you grow up in Texas? I'm an OK girl. There's a couple of us on here that show. @taberbtb & I PM back & forth about cattle all the time
@blackbird818 - I showed too. Primarily steers, but I started with heifers.
Very cool @AggieBeth06!! :-bd I showed mostly heifers but had a few steers through the years. Did you grow up in Texas? I'm an OK girl. There's a couple of us on here that show. @taberbtb & I PM back & forth about cattle all the time
EDITED- stupid bump format burps...
Yes, but we did a lot of jackpots in North Texas/Panhandle. We bought most of our stock west of Abeline.
PG#1 - 3rd cycle BFP. Team Green. HELLP syndrome @ 34 weeks. Later diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, possible link to HELLP.
PG#2 M/C 3/14 - Surprise BFP 2/13. Beta's doubled every 52 hours from 3w5d-5w5d Viable pregnancy scan at 5w5d; 2nd u/s showed 2 days of growth in 7 but a HB of 120 3rd u/s on 3/10/14 had no HB and baby had only grown 7 days over 14 D&C 3/17/14 - complications - DX Retroflexed uterus, multiple tears to cervix
@blackbird818 - I showed too. Primarily steers, but I started with heifers.
Very cool @AggieBeth06!! :-bd I showed mostly heifers but had a few steers through the years. Did you grow up in Texas? I'm an OK girl. There's a couple of us on here that show. @taberbtb & I PM back & forth about cattle all the time
EDITED- stupid bump format burps...
Yes, but we did a lot of jackpots in North Texas/Panhandle. We bought most of our stock west of Abeline.
Yea I grew up in very SW Oklahoma right on the TX border.
@blackbird818 - I showed too. Primarily steers, but I started with heifers.
Very cool @AggieBeth06!! :-bd I showed mostly heifers but had a few steers through the years. Did you grow up in Texas? I'm an OK girl. There's a couple of us on here that show. @taberbtb & I PM back & forth about cattle all the time
EDITED- stupid bump format burps...
Yes, but we did a lot of jackpots in North Texas/Panhandle. We bought most of our stock west of Abeline.
Yea I grew up in very SW Oklahoma right on the TX border.
I bet we know some of the same people. It's such a small world.
I saw your DH's groom's cake and almost asked if it was a trim chute...
Feel free to PM me about it. We sold our stock several years ago but it's still interesting to me.
OP, sorry for the derail. This is a great topic, and I feel good after reading everyone's contributions.
PG#1 - 3rd cycle BFP. Team Green. HELLP syndrome @ 34 weeks. Later diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, possible link to HELLP.
PG#2 M/C 3/14 - Surprise BFP 2/13. Beta's doubled every 52 hours from 3w5d-5w5d Viable pregnancy scan at 5w5d; 2nd u/s showed 2 days of growth in 7 but a HB of 120 3rd u/s on 3/10/14 had no HB and baby had only grown 7 days over 14 D&C 3/17/14 - complications - DX Retroflexed uterus, multiple tears to cervix
@blackbird818 - I showed too. Primarily steers, but I started with heifers.
Very cool @AggieBeth06!! :-bd I showed mostly heifers but had a few steers through the years. Did you grow up in Texas? I'm an OK girl. There's a couple of us on here that show. @taberbtb & I PM back & forth about cattle all the time
EDITED- stupid bump format burps...
Yes, but we did a lot of jackpots in North Texas/Panhandle. We bought most of our stock west of Abeline.
Yea I grew up in very SW Oklahoma right on the TX border.
I bet we know some of the same people. It's such a small world.
I saw your DH's groom's cake and almost asked if it was a trim chute...
Feel free to PM me about it. We sold our stock several years ago but it's still interesting to me.
OP, sorry for the derail. This is a great topic, and I feel good after reading everyone's contributions.
Yeah it was a chute. DH is a fitter/steer jock, and we actually met at a stockshow.
It was recently actually, from someone I just started to get to know on twitter lol. It was completely out of the blue and it had a big impact on me. I never realized just how much I apologized for who I am, what I think, how I say something etc. etc. when there is absolutely nothing I should be apologizing for.
In fact, just after that I had a disconnect with my best friend of many, many years and when I looked back on the correspondence, none of it would have gone the way it did if I simply didn't apologize for something I shouldn't have in the first place.
So I'm trying to remember that more now and be more confident in who I am and what I say and do. And just own my choices more.
I have two pieces of advice that tie in my world. Never go to bed angry- I make it a priority to talk things out and resolve issues, if I can, before bed. Especially with my husband.
The other is to forgive and let go- not because they deserve it but because you deserve peace. If I don't forgive, the person still has power over me and I don't like to allow that to happen. Still working on this one!
Re: GTKY: Best Advice You Were Ever Given
I jumped. It was the best thing I ever did. I am happier now in many ways than I ever was before.
IUI#4 1/23/13 on 75iu x9 Follistim = BFP then chem preg m/c (Feb 2013)
IUI#5 BFN (April 2013)
S/PAIFW , S/PALW
My Blog
BFP #2 5/7/13 EDD 1/14/2014 Ectopic discovered 5/21/13, lost left tube
Referred to RE, blood work done August 2013, AMH 0.27, all else normal, HSG clear
"It's, not, where you are, it's where you're going,
And it's, not, about the things you've done, it's what you're doing, now"
TTC Journey Began 8/12
BFP #1 11/9/12, MMC/D&C 12/21/12 @ 9w2d, EDD 7/24/13
SAs: 2%-3% Morph - RE Official Diagnosis Unexplained
BFN = IUI #1 (Clomid) | IUI #2 (Letrozole)
BFP #2 4/19/14 = IUI #3 (Letrozole)
Expecting Our Elf 12/27/14
~All Welcome~
"Sometimes Silence is the better part of Valor" Our BDE XO said this to me after I chewed out a CSM for being a condescending ass and he was butt hurt. I was right, but I should have been more tactfully polite in my reply or ignored him...but that just isn't me.
It's helped my communication skills when dealing with morons, mainly so I remain professional. But I can't say that it sank in right away, it took a few years and I still have to catch myself, pause, think, re-evaluate what I want to say and then speak.
Me: 34, DH: 32
TTC Since September 2012
Dx-PCOS, Anovulation, highly irregular cycles
March 2013 Comid 50 mg+ TI #1: BFN
April 2013 Clomid mg + TI #2: BFN
IVM#1 Aug 2012: BFN
20 FEB 2014: CP
IUI #1 Clomid 100mg 24 FEB 2014: BFN
IUI #2 Clomid 100mg 21 MAR 2014: BFN
IUI#3 Follistim & trigger 21 May 2014: BFN
IVF #1 Follistim & Menopur: 14R, 9M, 7F, transfered 2 day 3 8 cell embies
Beta #1: 7/30: 41 Beta #2 8/1: 96 Beta #3 8/4: 796 EDD:4/9/15
All Welcome
"You never know how you'll find the strength to do what you need to do until you have to do it."
It's not verbatim... My great grandma told my grandma this and she shared it with me last year through some tough medical issues with my son.
PG#1 - 3rd cycle BFP. Team Green. HELLP syndrome @ 34 weeks.
Later diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, possible link to HELLP.
PG#2 M/C 3/14 - Surprise BFP 2/13. Beta's doubled every 52 hours from 3w5d-5w5d
Viable pregnancy scan at 5w5d; 2nd u/s showed 2 days of growth in 7 but a HB of 120
3rd u/s on 3/10/14 had no HB and baby had only grown 7 days over 14
D&C 3/17/14 - complications - DX Retroflexed uterus, multiple tears to cervix
All Welcome
Chart
For mobile ladies
PG#1 - 3rd cycle BFP. Team Green. HELLP syndrome @ 34 weeks.
Later diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, possible link to HELLP.
PG#2 M/C 3/14 - Surprise BFP 2/13. Beta's doubled every 52 hours from 3w5d-5w5d
Viable pregnancy scan at 5w5d; 2nd u/s showed 2 days of growth in 7 but a HB of 120
3rd u/s on 3/10/14 had no HB and baby had only grown 7 days over 14
D&C 3/17/14 - complications - DX Retroflexed uterus, multiple tears to cervix
All Welcome
Chart
EDITED- stupid bump format burps...
Yes, but we did a lot of jackpots in North Texas/Panhandle. We bought most of our stock west of Abeline.
PG#1 - 3rd cycle BFP. Team Green. HELLP syndrome @ 34 weeks.
Later diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, possible link to HELLP.
PG#2 M/C 3/14 - Surprise BFP 2/13. Beta's doubled every 52 hours from 3w5d-5w5d
Viable pregnancy scan at 5w5d; 2nd u/s showed 2 days of growth in 7 but a HB of 120
3rd u/s on 3/10/14 had no HB and baby had only grown 7 days over 14
D&C 3/17/14 - complications - DX Retroflexed uterus, multiple tears to cervix
All Welcome
Chart
I bet we know some of the same people. It's such a small world.
I saw your DH's groom's cake and almost asked if it was a trim chute...
Feel free to PM me about it. We sold our stock several years ago but it's still interesting to me.
OP, sorry for the derail. This is a great topic, and I feel good after reading everyone's contributions.
PG#1 - 3rd cycle BFP. Team Green. HELLP syndrome @ 34 weeks.
Later diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, possible link to HELLP.
PG#2 M/C 3/14 - Surprise BFP 2/13. Beta's doubled every 52 hours from 3w5d-5w5d
Viable pregnancy scan at 5w5d; 2nd u/s showed 2 days of growth in 7 but a HB of 120
3rd u/s on 3/10/14 had no HB and baby had only grown 7 days over 14
D&C 3/17/14 - complications - DX Retroflexed uterus, multiple tears to cervix
All Welcome
Chart
Ditto sorry for the post hijack OP
March 2014: first medicated cycle + iui = BFP!
It was recently actually, from someone I just started to get to know on twitter lol. It was completely out of the blue and it had a big impact on me. I never realized just how much I apologized for who I am, what I think, how I say something etc. etc. when there is absolutely nothing I should be apologizing for.
In fact, just after that I had a disconnect with my best friend of many, many years and when I looked back on the correspondence, none of it would have gone the way it did if I simply didn't apologize for something I shouldn't have in the first place.
So I'm trying to remember that more now and be more confident in who I am and what I say and do. And just own my choices more.
dream 1 CAME TRUE 2.13.2010
<dream 2> 12.2011
2.10.12 : 4 weeks
6.17.12 : 10 weeks
10.10.12 : 4 weeks, 6 days
12.13.12 : 9 weeks, 1 day
4.6.13 : 4 weeks, 4 days
10.27.13 : 5 weeks, 6 days
4.2.14 (IVF #1) : 4 weeks, 1 day
6.19.14 : IVF #2 Negative
</dream 2>
resolve.org
lyrics
***All always welcome!!***
My favorite - "if you can't get out of it, then you better get into it"
Me: 27 DH: 33
Conceived DS after 4 years of MFI
TTC # 2 (not trying,not preventing ever)
May 2013 - August 2013 Timed Intercourse = BFN
September 2013 Timed Intercourse, Weekly Acupuncture, Herbs=BFN
October 2013 Timed Intercourse, Weekly Acupuncture, Herbs, and "warming foods" = BFP
Beta #1 19, Beta #2 18 Progesterone 4.6 Miscarried 11/9/13
November 2013 - Benched, waiting for first post-loss AF.
No longer benched per New RE/OB!
Jan. 15 2014 - BFP. HCG 3900 - Ectopic
Jan. 16 2014 Left tube removed and D&C
March 2, 2014 First AF