Teacher does not recommend social skills therapy??

MirandaHobbes · March 2014

DS has a new teacher for the rest of the year. She's very opinionated, and she has more experience than his last teacher. She also has an adult son with Aspergers. She called me at home to express some concerns she has with DS' IEP goals and his behavior plan. It was really nice to hear a different opinion. She mentioned how she used to teach social skills classes at a private clinic. I told her we were looking into a private social skills program for DS and she immediately said to avoid social skills classes. She said the last thing DS needs is more rules and that he should be taught social skills organically in playdates and other activities like sports. She said if we do a weekly social skills class his mannerisms will become too rote and unnatural. I asked her if she used MGW in the classroom, and she said she has but they don't use the formal program at his current school (or any specific curriculum for that matter). She said they work theory of mind exercises into daily lessons, like when they were working on summarizing a Curious George story they read they filled in thought bubbles of the characters and talked about it in terms of what the characters were thinking.

Thoughts? Would there ever be a circumstance where a child wouldn't benefit from a social skills class? I'll be honest, the thought of taking DS to weekly Karate or gymnastics classes seems a lot more appealing than a social skills class.

Edit to add: he's in kindy, pdd-nos

typeset · March 2014

How much peer-to-peer interaction occurs in a karate or gymnastics class? Those are instructor driven.

MirandaHobbes · March 2014

typeset said:

How much peer-to-peer interaction occurs in a karate or gymnastics class? Those are instructor driven.

True- not much. I can't think of any "team" sport DS would enjoy or find success with. He hates most sports in general but likes to swim and has expressed some interest in karate and gymnastics.

MirandaHobbes · March 2014

He'll also have Scouts next year, come to think of it.

lite-bright · March 2014

The issue with using activities instead of therapy-based classes is that unless your kid has the support they need, they won't be successful. You can expose them to other kids, but if they were going to pick up things without a therapist, they wouldn't be on the spectrum, kwim?

My DD1 gets social skills support at school and we also have her in activities where she has a fairly high degree of supervision/understanding by a leader, as a way of making opportunities for her to generalize in other settings. Soccer where her dad coaches, and a small-group music class that I attend with her every other week. We've done Floortime-based playdates with a therapist and a classmate (admittedly not as many as we'd have liked, it's tough to get another family to commit to that regularly), as well as a couple of different types of social skills classes. She does pick things up socially, but it's slow compared to peers and she can really annoy other kids if we're not careful because she needs so much repetition to learn.

While I think the type/structure of the social skills class is important, I don't think they ought to be dismissed out of hand. On the downside, most social skills classes are filled with ... kids who need work on social skills. So you don't get the interaction with typical peers that you do in, say, school or non-therapy activities. But I'm giving a bit of a side-eye that she's basically saying all social skills classes do is teach rote skills. It sounds like HER social skills class did, but I'd be wary of going on her experience alone in making therapy choices for my kid. And frankly I'd be inclined to do both the social skills class AND other activities.

MirandaHobbes · March 2014

lite-bright said:
My DD1 gets social skills support at school and we also have her in activities where she has a fairly high degree of supervision/understanding by a leader, as a way of making opportunities for her to generalize in other settings. Soccer where her dad coaches, and a small-group music class that I attend with her every other week. We've done Floortime-based playdates with a therapist and a classmate (admittedly not as many as we'd have liked, it's tough to get another family to commit to that regularly), as well as a couple of different types of social skills classes. She does pick things up socially, but it's slow compared to peers and she can really annoy other kids if we're not careful because she needs so much repetition to learn.

This is amazing, really, kudos for this arrangement! I wish I could get my DH engaged with DS in sports like that, or even Scouts, which he has so far been reluctant to try. He just doesn't enjoy being around (other) kids. And a Floortime playdate with another peer would be perfect. DS has a peer whose parent is an MSW, and we tried a playdate. It went poorly; for whatever reason DS just really dislikes the kid. Totally opposite interests.

And frankly I'd be inclined to do both the social skills class AND other activities.

Seems like reasonable approach- thanks for the input! TBH, it probably comes down to me being a little hesitant and lazy myself. Organized activities haven't gone very well in the past so I've been leery to start new things, but I've got to get back in the saddle. We've done things like YMCA camp and Vacation Bible school but I have no guarantees the staff are going out of their way to get him to engage with other kids. In fact at VBS one day I picked him up and he was in the minister's office helping them make copies instead of doing the arts and crafts project... ugh.

funchicken · March 2014

I have a cousin who was an Eagle Scout. He's in his mid-twenties, and he's the sweetest guy: responsible, kind to his family. I think it's great that moms can be so involved, too.

MirandaHobbes · March 2014

-auntie- said:
Moms can be scouters and they can bring important skills and lessons to the program.
I basically had this convo with DH when we were going to enroll him in Lions this year. He was worried about the camping, which he said I couldn't do as a female with a bunch of little boys. His line of reasoning is that he doesn't want to impose upon the other adult leaders by handing them a difficult kid. We actually joined the church we did because it is ginormous and has a huge Scouts contingent (over a hundred, I believe) my hope being maybe there are other ASD kids in the troop so he won't be a total outlier. But yes, I'd like to get involved and will likely need to. Scouting wasn't my thing growing up, my Mom and I were ultra involved in our 4-H club for a decade but the "urban" 4-H clubs around here aren't very popular.

show previous quotes
Two days into the year and no books came home. Instead I got a phone call from Mr. Colton who wanted to talk me out of this. He made a convincing argument- DS carrying his textbooks would make him look like every other kid and blend in better, the exercise and weight would help keep him settled and he'd never get better at keeping track of what he needed if we didn't give him a chance to actually keep track of what he needed. I agreed to trial it and it turned out he was absolutely spot on.
Yeah along those lines her biggest concern is that she thinks the kids shouldn't be allowed to have screen time as a reward. I didn't know his behavior plan had morphed into that (we had been doing sticker/treats), but apparently now the 5 boys all huddle around phones and a tablet for their "reward" which is kinda wack. I told her to go ahead and pull the plug.
Summer camp can be an excellent way to build in some social skills instruction as well as practice. The concept of therapeutic recreation can be great for a kid who isn't impaired enough for ESY but would do well with the structure of something to do and access to peers.
In a way DS is lucky (?) because he's forced into "camp" since we work FT. Last summer he did Y summer camp and he liked it enough but there were plenty of nonpreferred activities that I'm sure he just zoned out on (capture the flag, dodgeball, arts and crafts). Over spring break he's doing another YMCA "camp" where he'll do field trips every day. From what I see, it's a fine program, but if he isn't getting good staff support I can't tell how well he's engaging. Fortunately we've never gotten a "bad" report, acting out or melting down or whatnot, but for all I know he spends half the day by himself, or, more likely, attached to some young staff person.
I agree to some degree. I have seen this go badly when the person working with the student doesn't get it. There used to be a homeschooled kid with Aspergers in band spoke entirely in Skillstreaming scripts who was really stilted and awkward. His SLP or mom taught him some greetings that were straight out of a 1980' sitcom. Linda, the other uni mom is an SLP and used to work with him on the fly because it was so weird. He'd greet us with "'supppp?". None of the other kids on spectrum in the band talked anything like he did.
Yikes. That's hilarious.
Working ToM into the lessons is great, but I don't think it's enough. One of the core elements of MGW's Social Thinking for a kid on spectrum is that other people are watching them and what they do and thinking about what that behavior means about who you are. To this end, MGW gives ownership and control to the child with ASD by letting them in on the secret that everybody else knows.
I agree. I'm pretty disappointed this school doesn't seem to value the social skills curriculum. I have a hunch it is funding related. I'll bring it up again at the next opportunity.
DS always did a social skills gig along with pragmatics instruction in elementary and middle school. His psychologist's DD's ran a Social Skills group out of his office but he felt the kids were too impaired for DS to benefit from participating with them. Instead he suggested playdates with a couple of the boys he did in-school MGW with. He's still friendly with those boys. In high school, only very atypical kids continued to do social skills, so we opted out in 9th. By that point he had learned the basics and was using them IRL in band and scouts.
Good to know- thanks for the info.
I'll be honest, the thought of taking DS to weekly Karate or gymnastics classes seems a lot more appealing than a social skills class.
I've done karate and frankly, I'd rather toast marshmallows with the Devil in hell. As @typeset points out, sports instruction isn't really a social event. In fact it could backfire if he talks with a peer and is given a consequence of sitting out.
I also have a hunch it may not go as planned. I'll probably try someplace that does weekly lessons until we sign up for any commitment. DS is pretty goofy and "silly"- he may enjoy gymnastics better where he can get the wiggles out.
Edit to add: he's in kindy, pdd-nos

Want a personalized experience?

Teacher does not recommend social skills therapy??

Re: Teacher does not recommend social skills therapy??

Choose Another Board

Search Boards