If LO refuses a meal...

KarenW924 · March 2014

What do you do if LO refuses to eat their meal? Do you

lady dixneuf · March 2014

I usually try to get what I can into him and then give up until later.

Sometimes he's not hungry at dinner. It's usually because he eats like a pig at school.

Last night he managed to have a yogurt pouch and I figure if he's not asking for more, he's fine.

porklump30 · March 2014

I voted for "give fillers" but in reality it is a combo of wait until next snack/meal time and give fillers if she is hungry before then. My kid is a peanut and sometimes isn't hungry when we eat. I will offer milk or a snack after about an hour if she didn't eat dinner so she isn't waking up hungry overnight.

chricast · March 2014

I voted SS because I will try again later if she is not hungry at the time we eat.

pb_bride · March 2014

I vote for "Not give anything else and have them wait til the next meal/snack time"

DS does get fruits after each meal (lunch and dinner). So even if he doesn't eat the main course, I'll still offer him fruits, and he rarely turns that down. I don't consider this as "filler" however...

It is very rare that DS will refuse an entire meal. I try to have at least 1 food on the plate that I know he eats (or used to eat). Sometimes he'll push the plate away after he looks at it (esp if the food looks "new"). We put his plate on the dinner table and ignore him. Usually after 30-60 seconds, he will give in and ask for his plate back and eat his food.

hilsy85 · March 2014

I try to do what I can, short of force feeding him or having him watch a show to eat. And then I'll offer again in a half hour or so, and if he still doesn't want it, then he waits til his next snack/meal to eat. I really really REALLY don't want to get into the habit of offering a million choices and having him only eat like 3 foods.

jwildin · March 2014

Usually if he isn't eating we start singing at the table. Then we stop and tell him he needs to take a bite before we will sing again. It works more often than not.

Ziegeficker · March 2014

Henry refuses food constantly. It's an ongoing battle for our family. Currently our plan is to have a meal lined up, and if he refuses it, I offer things like raisins or bananas. We offer him one part of the meal at a time since he will row a whole plate of food on the floor out of spite. If he refuses everything, he gets down. My MIL lives with us now and is constantly feeding him junk, so it's been a challenge for us to prevent her from feeding him graham crackers when he refuses his dinner. But I have stopped feeding him alternate meals and filler foods just because he refuses what we make for him -- we already offer him special foods that we know he likes. Sometimes we find that he will come back and eat something off his original plate once he has figured out that's all he is getting.

Ziegeficker · March 2014

@LuckySquare‌, I have started giving Henry a few crunchy things as a part of his regular meal so that he gets something he loves and I don't have to consider it filler food. He could survive on crackers his whole life if we let him. But it IS frustrating -- so glad I am not alone in this. Because MIL sometimes lays a heavy guilt trip on us for "starving him" and not giving in to his temper tantrums when we don't give him crackers and cheese puffs on demand.

Ziegeficker · March 2014

BandEddie said:

Why do all the MILs and in-laws think they have a right to criticize parenting?! It fucking kills me. I know there's that eCard about "You raised your kid and I'm still cleaning up your mistakes" but seriously. Also, budgeting. Because they need to butt their nose into that like they have any right, either. WTF in-laws?!

Okay I'm done.

My MIL is not usually very judgmental of our parenting, but the things she DOES comment on are ridiculous -- like that we don't put him in heavy coats to get in the carseat when it's barely chilly outside; or that we are TOO structured with him, and that's why he doesn't like his diaper changed anywhere but his changing table (uh, he doesn't like his diaper changed anywhere, let's be clear). I know she wasn't crazy lax in raising her children so I chalk it up to her being a grandma.

Sillygirl85 · March 2014

Elijah usually eats all that he wants at a meal, unless he is teething and having a hard time with harder foods. If I suspect teething is the issue (and I usually know because he asks for popsicles when he is teething) then I will give him a pouch.

CnAnA · March 2014

She don't eat what is offered, she can wait until next eating time. I am not cooking different meals because she gets a wild hair. I don't want her to get into the habit of "I don't want this, Mommy. Make me something else."

nealbl · March 2014

Breakfast and lunch DD2 will eat about anything I give her and the daycare gives her. Dinner is a whole other story. It doesn't matter what I put in front of her, except cheerios, she hates dinner time right now. Maybe she will take a bite but for the most part she says no and gets mad. It is so weird. I just figure she is getting a lot of good nutrition throughout the day that I guess if she doesn't want to eat I can't force her too.

KarenW924 · March 2014

I've been trying to offer DS one new meal a day (something he hasn't seen before) usually for dinner. This ends up with a lot of refusals so I end up giving him a lot of fillers. He's not a big kid so if he's willing to eat anything, I don't want to miss out on the calorie intake.

Ziegeficker · March 2014

nealbl said:

Breakfast and lunch DD2 will eat about anything I give her and the daycare gives her. Dinner is a whole other story. It doesn't matter what I put in front of her, except cheerios, she hates dinner time right now. Maybe she will take a bite but for the most part she says no and gets mad. It is so weird. I just figure she is getting a lot of good nutrition throughout the day that I guess if she doesn't want to eat I can't force her too.

Henry has started doing this but with lunch. At daycare they do breakfast, lunch, and snack; and lately it's a good bet I'll read that he skipped all of his lunch.

Unknown · March 2014

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CnAnA · March 2014

I am a very picky eater, and I am really trying not to pass that on to her. So I may be a bit neurotic about her food. LOL. I want food to not be something that rules her life. If she doesn't want to eat what's there, that's fine. But she doesn't get to demand something else.

I do also try to provide at least one think I know she likes per meal. Even if it's just the bbq sauce that makes EVERYTHING (and yes, I mean everything) taste better. At least it means she will eat a vegetable...

pb_bride · March 2014

KarenW924 said:

I've been trying to offer DS one new meal a day (something he hasn't seen before) usually for dinner. This ends up with a lot of refusals so I end up giving him a lot of fillers. He's not a big kid so if he's willing to eat anything, I don't want to miss out on the calorie intake.

@KarenW924, I read that dinner is the toughest meal for kids, because they are usually tired by then, so it may be harder to use that meal to introduce new foods. If possible, try new foods at lunch. You probably do this already, but when I introduce new foods, I always do my best to pair something familiar with it. DS will eat the familiar food first, but half of the time he may try the new food too. GL!

annabelle8101 · March 2014

How much she eats is her job. What she gets offered is mine. She gets a plate of food and when she says she is done, she is done. Sometimes the plate is still full, sometimes she has seconds.

hilsy85 · March 2014

CK2MD said:

annabelle8101 said:

How much she eats is her job. What she gets offered is mine. She gets a plate of food and when she says she is done, she is done. Sometimes the plate is still full, sometimes she has seconds.

This, 100%. If LO "refuses" a meal, I assume it is because she is not hungry.

Agggh I really TRY to have this mindset....and sometimes I succeed

but it's tough when he doesn't finish/eat a meal, and I know we're going out/have things to do, and he's inevitably going to be hungry and cranky right at the most inconvenient time.

Wally3 · March 2014

I do what ever I feel like in the moment. Depending on how much he ate and when I will feed him again.

CnAnA · March 2014

I keep goldfish in the diaper bag and car. And ahe usually has milk in her sippy. If all else fails, I will swing through a drive thru and get chicken or something....but only if its snack/meal time or if I am getting a treat too.

Mrs_Lady · March 2014

Wait until the next meal

KarenW924 · March 2014

@pbbride thanks. One of the reasons I introduce the food at night is because I like to prep/cook uninterrupted during his midday nap. I'm not a good cook to begin with but I don't like having DS underfoot while I cook. His lunch will usually be leftovers or something i froze so there is minimal prepwork.

Also, it'll usually be something DH and I will eat for dinner which is why I will offer it at dinner too. I want him to eat it fresh. I also usually leave out bread which he'll eat if he doesn't like his meal, but I consider it a filler, and not part of his meal.

nickschick! · March 2014

We always try to have three different things at meals (protein, fruit, veggie). I used to aim to have 2 of 3 be things DS would eat . Now that we have two, I just hope for at least one that each likes. Dd doesn't get cheese , which makes things harder. She's pretty finicky too...

annabelle8101 · March 2014

I worked as a nutritionist with the WIC program for almost 5 years, so I spent a LOT of time listening to moms worry about how little their kid was eating. In the past several weeks, I've thought, "So THAT is what they're talking about!" It is crazy how much their eating drops off. But their growing slows a lot. Children are generally excellent at modulating their intake to match their needs. There are exceptions, but overall, they have it down. I've heard from several pediatric dietitians that when they look at food records of children (we typically use 3 days), children often take in the exact same amount of calories day to day. No thinking, no effort. It is pretty amazing.

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