Community› The Bump Month Clubs› March 2014 Moms
March 2014 Moms
New Discussion

MIL VENT

lopezalonsolopezalonso member
edited March 2014 in March 2014 Moms
My MIL has been obsessed with coming over and "helping" since we came home from the hospital on Saturday. She annoyed the hell out of me last weekend but then I felt bad since she knew my mom was here mon-wed. My mom has been helping me with the baby and cooking/cleaning/laundry -- true help! My MIL got here at noon today and for almost 3 hours she has been sitting on the couch on her computer looking up insurance info. I asked a simple question. I'm so upset right now. This isn't help. This is her invading my space and time with my baby. I need her to leave and don't know how to say it. For goodness gracious she lives 3 minutes away. Do this at your own house!
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
Report Reply to Post

Re: MIL VENT

  • LaurenAsh23LaurenAsh23 member
    I feel your pain. My mil loves to drop by and expect us to entertain her and I'm done with it. One day she even said to me "everytime I'm here you're in bed". She's never offered to help us, bring dinner, nothing....some people just don't get it
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • Natty13umppoNatty13umppo member
    Yeah, I worry that this will be my MIL, too.  She is constantly connected to her iphone/ipad/whatever electronic device and I'm worried that when she is here to "help" if she isn't playing with a baby or a toddler, she'll be attached to electronic device of choice and not actually help with any laundry/cooking/cleaning/etc.  I hope I am wrong, but I could totally see this being my MIL.  Sorry!

    Though, I'm also very bad at letting people help.  I'm hoping I'm smart enough with two to just give up my control freak nature and maybe write up a list ahead of time so if I do get offers of help, I can just hand over a list of things that can be done.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker BabyFruit Ticker
    Report Reply
  • kimberpookimberpoo member

    omg that sucks!! I wouldn't let her come over at all. if she starts complaining and wants to see LO, bring LO to her place so you can leave after an hour or so.

    as for how to get her out today.....good luck! no idea. enlist DH's help if he is home.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Report Reply
  • mevensenmevensen member
    kimberpoo said:

    omg that sucks!! I wouldn't let her come over at all. if she starts complaining and wants to see LO, bring LO to her place so you can leave after an hour or so.

    as for how to get her out today.....good luck! no idea. enlist DH's help if he is home.

    This. I offer to bring LO over to her house with DH so I don't get trapped with her for hours. That way it's on my terms and I can leave when we want.

                          

    imageimageimage

     

    image

    Report Reply
  • amdecker1016amdecker1016 member
    Welcome.to.my.life.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • LoveMoose85LoveMoose85 member
    Ahh I'm so sorry! How does DH feel about all this? At least she lives close and does go home, so she doesn't have to stay with you right? Mine is coming for a week when LO arrives and I.am.dreading.it!!
    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Parenting Advice"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1d7278" alt=" Pregnancy Ticker" border="0"  /></a>


    Report Reply
  • clo1982clo1982 member
    Why not just ignore her and pretend she isn't there? Not trying to be rude; I'm being completely honest. If she is sitting there doing her own thing, you are under no obligation to entertain or host....so just do your thing...go to a different room...turn on the tv and lounge with your lo. ...pull out a boob to nurse (if you are bf)...and if she says anything tell her she seemed to be doing her own thing so you are doing yours...and if she'd like to help...XYZ needs to be done around the house. Also don't be afraid to ASK for what you want. If you want dinner, ask her if she will stop and pick it up, if dishes need done, tell her it'd be a big help if she could take care of that. If she still refuses to do anything but sit there, dh should have a talk with her about how you are trying to recover and get in a routine so you aren't going to be playing hostess for a while. Again I'm not being rude or sarcastic at all.
    I<img [url=http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1a1d2b.aspx[/img][/url]
    Report Reply
  • lopezalonsolopezalonso member
    My MIL wants to help and I think she'll do stuff if I ask, it's just that in her efforts to help she bothers me. I want to be alone and I've told her this but she thinks I'm just not asking for help. It also seems like she wants to sit down and stare at DD all day and dojo thing else. Sorry lady, it's my turn to do that. She then does laundry and shrinks clothes, makes dinner and leaves my kitchen a mess etc., that's more work for me. I can't do visits to her house yet because DD is only 7 days old but that's a good idea for the future.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • hisbeautyalwayshisbeautyalways member
    Think of things you need done, or need from the store, and just ask. Example, go into your kitchen, "Oh, I'm all out of X, would you mind running to the store for me real quick?"

    If all else fails and being direct doesn't help, talk to your DH and have him step in.
    DS #1 - 12/10/11
    image

    DS #2 - 4/2/14

    Report Reply
  • kmeyers0611kmeyers0611 member
    WickedNE said:
    I feel your pain. DS actually told me the other day that when mil watches him she doesn't play with him. He said she plays on her phone and iPad. And he said she sits on the couch and she won't sit on the floor and play trains with him. Awesome.
    She sounds like she's running for grandma of the year ;)


    IAmPregnant Ticker image VOTE on my Name List
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker BabyFruit Ticker 
    March Siggy Theme
    image
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"