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DS broke my heart yesterday!

scrappingcatscrappingcat member
in One & Done: Only child
A little recent history:  Our cat is very old and "sickly" but is on medication and doing well for now and DS (5 years) knows this.  Also our daycare provider recently had a miscarriage and one of the other, older, girls told him that the baby in her belly died, which I am not happy about.

Our cat, Ivan, was sitting in my lap yesterday while we were playing legos on the floor.  DS asked if Ivan was going to die soon.  I was not expecting this and sat there for a moment.  Eventually I told him that yes, he will die someday because he is really, really old.  Then came the "Am I going to die someday? Are you going to die?" questions.  After asking if DH and I will die I answered honestly that yes we will die someday but likely it will be when we are very old.  He looked at me with the SADDEST eyes and said, "Then will I be all alone?"  (I get tears just typing this!!)  After trying to collect my thoughts together I explained that he will have family, likely a wife and kids, and lots of friends and he will not be all alone.  He left it at that so I didn't press the issue.
I am an only and know that when my parents are no longer here I won't be "all alone" but that is my biggest fear for DS.  Because I'm an only and DH brother is a loser he isn't going to have a lot of other family (however lots of my cousins are young (10-18) and love him to pieces.)  Has anyone else been through this yet?  I'm not sure that there is anything else I could have said.  
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Re: DS broke my heart yesterday!

  • scrappingcatscrappingcat member
    Thanks for the reassurance everyone!  Thanks Naria for sharing your story.  I've not had to deal with this yet as an only.
    I know that he will grasp things better as he gets older and I appreciate you pointing this out MissPeans.  I just think that specific question really took me by surprise.
    I had been trying to determine a good way to explain what had happened with DCP because he such a sensitive kid and hearing him blurt it out like that just peeved me a little!  DCP had sent us an email saying that she was going to let each of us handle it as was appropriate for our families rather than telling the kids anything.
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  • AgoAgo member
    This is so tough to explain to kids!  My daughter has been asking since she was three years old about death.  I'm not sure why, as there hasn't been any deaths in the family or of pets, but I think a girl in her daycare at the time kept talking about it.  I explain that it happens when people are very old or very sick, I try not to go into further details.  I fret about it because we were playing with her new dollhouse the other day and almost immediately she says the boy's parents died because they "got the big sick" and he has to be a grown up now.  It breaks my heart.  I struggle because we don't have any nieces or nephews and kids in our families are distant relatives.  My grandmothers were only children and I know one of them for sure (they other passed many years ago) talked about how she struggled being the only child, especially when her parents were dying.  I hope friends/partner can replace family for DD, as she is a social girl, but my friends tend to prioritize family, so I don't have that family-like relationship with them.
    University of Kansas alum Geoff Folker applies food coloring to his snow sculpture at his home on Park Street in Olathe, Kan., on Sunday, March 24, 2013. A storm that dumped up to 15 inches of snow on parts of Colorado and Kansas is making its way east, with winter storm warnings and advisories issued for today and tomorrow as far east as Pennsylvania. (AP Photo/The Kansas City Star, John Sleezer)

    January OAD Siggy Challenge: Creative Snow Sculptures

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  • MrsCodeMonkeyMrsCodeMonkey member
    Many hugs! That's so tough.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
                                 
                               photo photosig3_zps92919c91.jpg Just said good bye Sept. 19th (MMC at 12 weeks)
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