The blues

Rochelle2012 · March 2014

Hey Everyone!

I'm on my fourth cycle for TTC, our first baby. I didn't think I would be as emotional when AF comes as I actually am.

I am a VERY anal person and regardless of what everyone says about just taking it easy and having it be natural.. that just isn't happening haha. With temping and charting for the last while, my cycle is very regular so I know when I am most fertile and AF is always right on time haha so I can't get it out of my head.. ever!

For all you other anal bumpies out there, please help and tell me I am not alone lol. I just bought preseed for this month, and don't want to take an emotional breakdown every 25 days when AF shows up.

TIA, xo

catmagick · March 2014

guurrrrllllll........four cycles. Whelp. I can't right now. Honestly, I can't.

Rochelle2012 · March 2014

I'm usually not this emotional and I'm aware 4 cycles is nothing at all. It's not like I'm purposely freaking out, and as for hobbies I spend most of my time off of work with my hubby and our dog. My closest friends have all moved elsewhere across the country so I think some of it has to do with my support system..

DLpanda08 · March 2014

I think emotional breakdown might be a bit much. If you are truly having a complete melt down on CD1 then I suggest you talk to someone about why you are having such a strong reaction.

However, I am going to assume you simply meant that you get a bit bummed. That's completely normal and we have all been there. I tend to be really self-critical and I have benefitted quite a bit from being a part of this community of women who give excellent, accurate, realistic advice. It keeps me grounded and prevents me from over analyzing every twinge each cycle. Keep charting your bbt and hang around here a bit. TTC can be a complete mindfuck without support.

DaBearsFansWife · March 2014

Anal won't get you preggo sweetie

Rochelle2012 · March 2014

Haha when I hit post discussion I already regretted using anal as my word of choice. Thanks for the laugh

SpartanChick88 · March 2014

It's frustrating when you want something so much and you feel like you're doing everything you can and it just doesn't happen. The second go round for us (after m/c) I was so stressed out and worried that I decided I needed to get away and threw myself into planning a weekend getaway - I felt like I had to find something to distract me and DH told me to pick a place and we would go. It was a blast - very relaxing and, ironically, that was our successful cycle.

Four cycles isn't as long as it feels... like others said, try to find a distraction. The weather might be getting nice somewhere in the near future... maybe. Get outside, plant a garden, go skydiving... anything to try to get your mind off it so you don't lose said mind.

Ducktale · March 2014

It's okay and normal to be disappointed when AF comes. It happens to all of us. There are the daily Waiting to O and 2WW threads you should consider joining in on, it's a good outlet for some of the TTC blues and commiserate with others going through something similar. Oh, and by the way--no one here will tell you to "relax and let it happen naturally". That's not how we roll here.

1and1is3 · March 2014

NellyBluth said:

Rochelle2012 said:

I'm usually not this emotional and I'm aware 4 cycles is nothing at all. It's not like I'm purposely freaking out, and as for hobbies I spend most of my time off of work with my hubby and our dog. My closest friends have all moved elsewhere across the country so I think some of it has to do with my support system..

It can be tough, but try to find something to occupy your mind. Distraction is key. Do all of the things that you won't be able to do if you get pregnant.
-------- quote fail-------------------
This is good advice!
I hit the gym punching bags on cd1. It's fun

gscoville · March 2014

My life is pretty busy whether we're TTC or not, so really I don't allow myself much time to dwell or obsess. Work keeps me exceptionally busy, and when I'm not working I'm reading, gaming, watching series on Netflix, hanging with friends and family either IRL or online, and basically just living life as normal. If you don't have enough to occupy your time, find things that take up time. Take on extra work, volunteer, pick up new hobbies that need concentration to do, start a new exercise routine...just keep busy.

theMadRadishes · March 2014

I obsess like crazy. Days feel like weeks when your counting days. Cry it out & grab a beer with the dude

MrsZ1891 · March 2014

Aww man. I wish I had seen this earlier and got the jump on all the anal jokes

But really, you are not alone! I stopped BC in May of 2013 and we did the "not trying, let it happen, natural" thing for 4 months and nothing. So now I started charting BBT, CM, and taking OPKs. I am also a control freak so its hard and dissapointing. I stopped keeping track of all my "symptoms" and that seems to ease the transition into CD1 for me. GL & keep your head up!

KirstenAlecia · March 2014

DaBearsFansWife said:

Anal won't get you preggo sweetie

UGH! You mean to tell me Ive been doing it wrong all along???

jgriff15 · March 2014

I understand you completely. Been TTC for about 7 months now and it feels like an eternity and every time AF shows up I just cry. It isn't easy going through this at all. Whether you've been doing it for 2 months or 5 years. It is still a struggle. I'm waiting to O ad then it will be my turn for the dreaded 2WW. As others have stated, a hobby is a wonderful distraction. I crochet in order to ease my mind. Helps sometimes and doesn't others. Just try to be patient and know that there are many others out there going through what you are going through. Good luck!

gscoville · March 2014

fuzzylogic said:

I used to get pretty upset, but as the months have worn on, I don't anymore. Sometimes you just have to tell yourself to stop getting upset, it's not the end of the world, and move on.

I know this sounds really harsh, and a lot of ladies here still get upset, and I understand. But there came a point when I just didn't like myself anymore, and I stopped doing it.

I have to agree with you, it seems the longer I've been TTC (over a year and a half now for me) the less hopeful I am anymore and the more stoic I am when AF rolls around - I pretty much assume I'm going to get a BFN each cycle so I don't get my hopes up. Sad but true. So, OP, take your 'blues' as a good thing, like an indicator you still have hope, it really sucks to be at the point where you just expect to not ever get KU and your period arriving isn't heartbreaking anymore.

swizzle3 · March 2014

We try so hard to avoid pregnancy for so long we think it will just happen the second BC is gone. Not the case and it can be frustrating. Don't worry, 4 months isn't too long and charting will help you alot to get your timing right.

I've gotten some hobbies to occupy me. Working out, sewing, crafting etc. I dont have alot of friends around me either but i have alot of other things to do instead. Good luck!

Rochelle2012 · March 2014

Thanks Everyone ! Some of the comments gave me a good laugh. I think my problem is that I am too much of a homebody so I'm going to be looking for some extra hobbies to pass the time. First project : Guest room renovations! Have a great weekend everyone!!

Abs211981 · March 2014

You're not alone. And it doesn't help when you're Type-A and a planner. I am just that myself so I know how you feel. I guess we spend so many years being downright terrified of getting pregnant (at least I did) and jumping through hoops to make sure it couldn't happen. All I heard during my teenage years was how stinking easy it was to get pregnant.

Then all of the sudden when you want to get pregnant it doesn't happen. Having regular cycles, temp charting and using OPK's makes the BFN's even more frustrating because then it made me wonder if something else could be wrong.

I'm sure after a few months TTC I'll mellow out, but last month my first BFN was a huge disappointment. So no, you're not alone

The blues

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