I NEED to VENT.

ugoglencoco · March 2014

My husband is about to get a serious ass whooping. He was home all day on Friday and today when I was at work and did nothing. The house was a disaster. Ds1 wasn't napping yet. Just, nothing. Still in his pjs. Even worse was when I got home today, he decided he needed to take a nap and play some call of duty. When I confronted him about it saying it would have been nice of he even just picked up the living room because I always make sure he is walking into a nice clean house, he said " what, you think that just because you worked today and I stayed home that our roles should be reversed? That's YOUR job." Oh, hellllll no. I don't mind doing any of these things on the 5 days I am home, and the house is always spotless but I expect the same respect. I don't expect him to come home and clean the whole house when he goes to work and I have the day off, so why should he expect me to?? Just really frustrated. And angry. And he left to go across the street to have a couple beers with our neighbor. I'm so ANGRY. Ok. Vent over, I guess. Thanks for listening.

greenbeanqueen · March 2014

In my house cleaning isn't anyone's "job". That wouldn't fly, but the Xbox might... Right out the window.

ugoglencoco · March 2014

I was thinking of accidentally knocking over the xbox off of the dresser. OOPS. Believe me, as soon as ds1 goes to bed, he's getting an earful. I don't like yelling in front of the kids. I'll just let it stew for a while.

snorticusprime · March 2014

Ooooh, no. Just no. He may just find his COD copy scratched and deleted from the hard drive.

ugoglencoco · March 2014

ColeRose said:
I would be irritated by him thinking housework is your job BUT my husband works all day and definitely does not come home to a clean house. Usually I hand the baby off to him when he comes home so I can shower and get like half an hour to myself. Serious question, how do you clean with a baby at home? C has to be held nearly all day and will only nap if I'm laying next to him

Ds1 is in a big "I want to help you clean" stage which is AWESOME. And I do a lot of baby wearing. It's almost like a workout cleaning and wearing baby!! I might add that I love cleaning but I hate laundry. I'll let it pile up for a week before I do it. Eff that noise. So the house is clean but the laundry is all piled in the laundry room lol

Cambury108 · March 2014

I want to internet slap your DH for you..........I read this and got really mad for you. HUGS. I say bye bye Xbox too. I have a PS3,PS4 player in my home and he is VERY well aware of what will happen. I think some serious apologies on his end are needed. Stay strong, men can be douche bags sometimes.

TXmamatobe · March 2014

I truly despise gaming systems.

More importantly, I'm sorry this happened. I would be pissed

ugoglencoco · March 2014

Oh and to add to my pissed off-ness. I forgot I have jury duty tomorrow. WHYYYYYY?!

ugoglencoco · March 2014

I'm hoping this is all sprouting from it almost being the anniversary of his dads death. He always seems to get angry around that time. I don't blame him, but it's also no excuse either.

Cambury108 · March 2014

Mmc0323 it is no excuse but I have been with DH for 13 years and his brother passed away in Feb 95 so long before we were together and right around the time of his brothers passing he gets CRAZY in the head. Now that his dad passed away June 2012 its 2x a year that I have to deal with it. No excuse like you said but I do understand and I try to be compassionate. Hang in there, hugs!!!

FutureMrsCaesar · March 2014

Ok I'll play devils advocate here. First off, how he spoke to you is rude and there's no excuse for that, I'd be pissed. But I think it's unfair for you to expect him to have the house clean when you get home, just because you would. You said he works 5 days per week and you work two (out of the house) so I can kind of see why you would take on more cleaning responsibilites. Also, you spend more time at home with your kids so you are probably better at caring for them and multitasking. When my husband is at home alone with all 3 kids I don't really expect much, aside from them to be reasonably well taken care of. Sometimes they dont get to baths for everyone and the house is certainly not cleaner than I left it. I think you should have a conversation about your expectations of dh when he's home with the kids and also be open to what he's saying. Then kick him in the balls for talking to you condescendingly. Unless of course you also spoke to him the same way about the house not being clean.

canicksmom · March 2014

That sucks! I have vented similarly to my mom, who said something that has stayed with me: Women (generally) see household chores as their job, and men (generally) consider anything they do around the house as "helping".

I am sorry that your husband reacted so defensively and bailed. I am sure a lot of us have to have more candid conversations with our SOs now that we have more responsibility. I am absolutely in that situation!

I was pretty close to putting up a chore chart up before we even had DS. I still think it's going to happen before DS is old enough to contribute.

amberpro · March 2014

Ummm, wanna know whose JOB it is to keep up the house? The people that live there. ALL the people that live there. Including the ones with balls.

utlawgirl · March 2014

Oh HELL NO. I can't believe he went there.

That said -- trying really, really hard to see his POV -- maybe he was just overwhelmed with everything while playing stay-at-home dad and was frustrated that he couldn't live up to your standards?

But still.

I will say, though, that I am totes jealous and in awe that you keep your house spotless with two kids around. I have one in preschool and only the baby to take care of most of the day, and I barely manage to keep laundry folded and the dishes out of the sink.

notkateanymore · March 2014

Sorry your husband is a douche.

Caitlinh27 · March 2014

Props to you for not yelling at him in front of the kids. Although I think that's super important, I can't say that I would have been able to hold it in.

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