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WORK STRESS HELP.

Brettx3AshleyBrettx3Ashley member
in Working Moms

I'm glad I have a job. I work 5-6 days a week. But lately, I just can't seem to deal with a co worker, we'll call her Alex. The co worker is a micromanaging control freak and can't admit to making mistakes. But Alex loves when she finds mistakes of other employees. I've tried to work with Alex, do better work than Alex and now I'm going to try the path of not doing anything unless Alex tells me to. Alex is very condescending and difficult to work with. Alex is in a higher position than me so there's not a lot I can do. Alex is also manipulative. I used to have more responsibilites at work that I really enjoyed until Alex joined our team and stripped me of those responsibilities. Alex's reasoing was that other employees didn't like the way I did things but when I confronted the 3 other people I work with, they couldn't believe that Alex had told me that.

It's just getting harder and harder to come to work. Alex stresses me out to the point where Alex is in my nightmares. It scares me because I've been getting sick a lot and throwing up and I'm 6 1/2 months along. I'm afraid that being this stressed out will cause preterm labor. That stresses me out even more. Before I got pregnant, I was on a lot of anti-anxiety and depression medicines. But now I don't have much to calm me down. I work out and do breathing techniques but I don't know what to do anymore.

Does anyone else have one person at work that causes them this much stress?

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Re: WORK STRESS HELP.

  • Virgo17Virgo17 member
    Try to stay calm, it is not worth endangering your health or the health of your baby.  Unfortunately, some people are just a**holes.  Focus on what you like about your job and ignore the rest.  Before long, you will have a break at home with your new little one.
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  • SunAndRainSunAndRain member

    We all deal with difficult people.  You say she holds a higher position than you but does she manage your work?  If so, the key is to ensure that her expectations of your work are clear. 

    A good technique for dealing with micro-managers is to over-communicate with them.  At the start of every work day, pop over to her with a cheerful good morning.  Let her know the top 3 priorities you plan to work on that day, and ask her if there is anything else she needs you to focus on or accomplish that day.  Then just do as she asks.  Don't argue.  If you need to push an item you had planned on working on, let her know in a pleasant way that you will push item #3 to deliver what she has requested so that she is aware.

    Remember that micro-management is often born of a lack of confidence that has nothing to do with YOU, however you do get to suffer for it.  Just ignore her condescending comments.  Any reaction to them that is anything other than neutral will just add fuel to the fire and cause things to escalate...then no one wins.

    And regardless of her perception of what other's felt about your work that supposedly led her to give you different responsibilities, it is up to her to delegate tasks and responsibilities how she sees fit.  So re-read the previous two paragraphs, and do the very best job you can do while maintaining the utmost professional demeanor of which you are capable.

    You won't change her.  You can only change your reaction to her.  And eventually, if things don't improve despite your attempts, then you have the option of seeking employment elsewhere.

    Good luck!

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  • Brettx3AshleyBrettx3Ashley member
    Thank you all. I appreciate the feedback!
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  • redjellybean128redjellybean128 member
    SunAndRain said:

    We all deal with difficult people.  You say she holds a higher position than you but does she manage your work?  If so, the key is to ensure that her expectations of your work are clear. 

    A good technique for dealing with micro-managers is to over-communicate with them.  At the start of every work day, pop over to her with a cheerful good morning.  Let her know the top 3 priorities you plan to work on that day, and ask her if there is anything else she needs you to focus on or accomplish that day.  Then just do as she asks.  Don't argue.  If you need to push an item you had planned on working on, let her know in a pleasant way that you will push item #3 to deliver what she has requested so that she is aware.

    Remember that micro-management is often born of a lack of confidence that has nothing to do with YOU, however you do get to suffer for it.  Just ignore her condescending comments.  Any reaction to them that is anything other than neutral will just add fuel to the fire and cause things to escalate...then no one wins.

    And regardless of her perception of what other's felt about your work that supposedly led her to give you different responsibilities, it is up to her to delegate tasks and responsibilities how she sees fit.  So re-read the previous two paragraphs, and do the very best job you can do while maintaining the utmost professional demeanor of which you are capable.

    You won't change her.  You can only change your reaction to her.  And eventually, if things don't improve despite your attempts, then you have the option of seeking employment elsewhere.

    Good luck!

    This. I recently had to start doing this at my job with my alex. My husband suggested it after I had a breakdown about work a couple of months ago. I started doing this and after a few weeks the situation has greatly improved. Good luck - I know how stressful it can be!!
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