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Re: asdf

• PineApple85 member

  March 2014

  Take this with a grain of salt as I have only your post to go by: SS needs counseling.  His behavior is the symptom, you need to root out the cause of his behavior.  Any more specific advice could be way off base as anyone online will not know the whole story.  A big hole in this description, for example, is his actual relationship with his mother.  Or is she completely absent?  Good luck!  I'm sorry I can't be more helpful.

  

  
  

  
  

    
  

  
  

   

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• prettyinpink120 member

  March 2014

  I agree see counseling or a dr. And maybe look at his diet things like food coloring (red 40,yellow...) have been know to cause behavioral problems, but it sounds like more then just that.

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• nanabanana06

  March 2014

  This sounds like my cousin. Like, almost to a T. He was diagnosed as a preteen with Aspergers. Which now is just on the autism spectrum. He had to go through a lot of different therapies, special ed, and a complete diet change (no gluten, no corn, no food coloring). He still seems off as an adult, but he's high functioning now and in the military. I'd have a serious talk with a pedi about this. Hopefully you can get him the help he needs before it's too late.
  

  

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• Myaflowers member

  March 2014

  I'm a child/adolescent therapist and agree with PP. I would get your SS an appointment with a psychiatrist so that he can be evaluated. Where I work, the child is seen by the psychiatrist for a 60 minute evaluation and then referred to a therapist if appropriate. I would recommend trying to find a practice that has psychiatrists and therapists all in the same building. It usually works best in situations where therapy and medication might both be indicated. Good luck!

  
  

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• cedenton member

  March 2014

  I agree with the above posters. Also check in with the blended families board and the special needs board. Good luck!
  

  
  

  

  
  

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• Beth.1212 member

  March 2014

  It sounds like you're in such a tough situation. Hang in there! I hope that a therapist can get your SS the help he seems to need and that things improve for you and your family. 

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• brachysira member

  March 2014

  Yes, I think the Special Needs board should help. He definitely needs more evaluation, and then you will be able to find out both if he needs therapy, medication, or both.  If you have some diagnoses you can then read up on the condition and seek support groups as well as asking his therapists how to deal with this behavior at home.  You need to know what's going on better before you can figure out what behavior modification tools to use.  

  
  

  You can consider your own position and his father's and make sure you're not contributing to his issues by not treating him as an important member of the family, denigrating his mother, or other typical issues that arise in these situation.  If he honestly can't be trusted to not abuse the little one, you need to protect her.  Separation, locking her door at night, etc.  These will hopefully be temporary while you are working on how to handle the older child's behavior.  

  
  

  The school district should be doing evaluations, working with you to get a plan (IEP?), and you should be meeting with the people at the school who handle evaluations, placements, etc.  You may need to advocate for him and work with his teachers.  They may be able to give you ideas for helping him at home.  

  
  

  We don't know what the backstory is, but a child who may have been abused, does not have constant parental resources, and may be disabled needs empathy and support.  I hope you are able to help him get help and provide him with love even while loving and protecting your daughter.
  

  
  

  
  

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• ah625 member

  March 2014 edited March 2014

  See a child therapist and mention "Conduct Disorder". 

  

  
  

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• deebride1020 member

  March 2014

  Definitely sounds like he has some things bothering him. Sounds like he's craving attention maybe? Get him counseling and try to talk calmly with him (if he'll let you) and try to see what may be the problem. Support him as much as possible as frustrating as the situation may be try and stay calm with him. Talk to the school about an evaluation ASAP

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