Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
KingLED
member
Long vent.
KingLED
member
I bled for like a week and was hoping that was it, but apparently not. It's been a long time since I've just let it happen instead of getting a D&C and it's so much worse than I remember. Yesterday I was cramping so bad I just stayed in bed with a heating pad most of the day. I have my next beta on Wed, so hopefully it's down quite a bit. I just want this to be over with. It's been almost 2 weeks since we saw their hearts had stopped and it still hurts (emotionally) like it was this morning. Of course I have my ups and downs, but I could really use a few more ups about now.
I was supposed to see the RE on Friday for more RPL testing, but that appt was set up after my last loss and since now I'm dealing with another loss that's so recent they don't want me to come in until my beta is back to 0. But by the time that happens it won't even be worth going in for testing because we're moving across the country (from IN to OR) at the end of April. So now I get to wait until I get there and find doctors and get referrals and sit on waiting lists forever. We're not even sure we want to try again, but we don't want to rule it out until we've seen the RE to get as many chances of getting an answer as we can.
Unfortunately, that means I'm stuck somewhere in the middle not sure if we're going to attempt to TTC again or if we're going to end up CFNBC. I feel like I can't really move on with my life not knowing what to expect. I just feel so incredibly defeated right now.
I'm sorry for whining so much, but I just don't know who else to talk to right now. This whole thing is just frustrating, which I'm sure you all understand.
I was supposed to see the RE on Friday for more RPL testing, but that appt was set up after my last loss and since now I'm dealing with another loss that's so recent they don't want me to come in until my beta is back to 0. But by the time that happens it won't even be worth going in for testing because we're moving across the country (from IN to OR) at the end of April. So now I get to wait until I get there and find doctors and get referrals and sit on waiting lists forever. We're not even sure we want to try again, but we don't want to rule it out until we've seen the RE to get as many chances of getting an answer as we can.
Unfortunately, that means I'm stuck somewhere in the middle not sure if we're going to attempt to TTC again or if we're going to end up CFNBC. I feel like I can't really move on with my life not knowing what to expect. I just feel so incredibly defeated right now.
I'm sorry for whining so much, but I just don't know who else to talk to right now. This whole thing is just frustrating, which I'm sure you all understand.
Son: Jackson, 11/02/06, stillborn due to PPROM and IUGR. Over the next ten years we had 9 miscarriages from 8-14 weeks. On May 18, 2016 my daughter, Ridley, was born. We're OADNBC.
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Re: Long vent.
I really hope your levels are way down on Wednesday and all the physical discomfort will go away soon so you can move forward. Here's hoping there are some great, available doctors in OR that can help and support you, whichever path you choose. In the meantime, play some of those happy songs you posted a few days ago, maybe those will help. Hugs to you!
BFP #1: 12/05/2012; EDD 08/09/2013; MC 01/2013 (missed, D&C)
BFP #2: 12/19/2013; EDD 08/25/2014; MC 01/2014 (natural)
ticker warning
Oh, Elly. I'm sorry! I hate this for you.
It is hard to try to move on emotionally when your body isn't ready.
Is it possible to get on the books with an OB in OR now? It might take some weeks to get a new patient appointment.
I'll be with you in the length of the process... I don't feel comfortable even discussing TTC until I get some indication if my uterine position can be changed. I don't see it being realistic at this point to TTC with it retroflexed as badly as it is. There don't seem to be any realistic options for treatment that are covered by insurance... they're all eastern/ancient and probably quacky. And of course nothing that I can even begin to sort through until my cervix is healed.
It's hard to be positive about options right now because we feel crappy. It's also hard because we don't really have a positive category to fit in. We are just us.
PG#1 - 3rd cycle BFP. Team Green. HELLP syndrome @ 34 weeks.
Later diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, possible link to HELLP.
PG#2 M/C 3/14 - Surprise BFP 2/13. Beta's doubled every 52 hours from 3w5d-5w5d
Viable pregnancy scan at 5w5d; 2nd u/s showed 2 days of growth in 7 but a HB of 120
3rd u/s on 3/10/14 had no HB and baby had only grown 7 days over 14
D&C 3/17/14 - complications - DX Retroflexed uterus, multiple tears to cervix
All Welcome
Chart
PG#1 - 3rd cycle BFP. Team Green. HELLP syndrome @ 34 weeks.
Later diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, possible link to HELLP.
PG#2 M/C 3/14 - Surprise BFP 2/13. Beta's doubled every 52 hours from 3w5d-5w5d
Viable pregnancy scan at 5w5d; 2nd u/s showed 2 days of growth in 7 but a HB of 120
3rd u/s on 3/10/14 had no HB and baby had only grown 7 days over 14
D&C 3/17/14 - complications - DX Retroflexed uterus, multiple tears to cervix
All Welcome
Chart
Could you call some doctors and get the process started where you are moving? Maybe it would give you piece of mind knowing things were set up when you got there?
Regardless, again, I am so sorry. I hope the bleeding stops soon so you can focus on healing emotionally.
***lurking from TTGP***
I was being creepy and looking for you to see how you're doing. I'm so sorry you're in pain and even worse, limbo right now. I hate being in limbo
nothing to do but wonder and not being able to take any action towards it... so frustrating. I'm thinking of you and wishing you peace.
On the upside, you're escaping Indiana! Good for you! I'll be here until I'm dead. But that's okay. I'm in my little impenetrable liberal hippy bubble and otherwise unscathed by the rest of this state.