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sharinfaith · March 2014

Hi!

I've been bumping for almost 3 years.

I left my SO on Christmas Day. He was verbally and emotionally abusive, even on Christmas, and at that point I had taken enough.

My daughter and I stayed with my parents until last weekend. I changed my whole life! I got a full time job with a great company, and now do hair on the weekends. I got a townhome for me and the little, and a court date on March 25th for temporary orders and CS.

I find myself mourning the family that we'd had. I'm starting to get horrible depressed, especially the more SO has LO.

Any words of wisdom? (wishdom?)

MinnesotaMomma91 · March 2014

It gets better, you stop missing it. And since he was abusive you did the right thing. You got you and your lo safe.

Hopefully your ex can seek therapy amd get help for what is going on.

Welcome to the board!

MinnesotaMomma91 · March 2014

Oh also, tell us more about you? What music do you like? What is your gp tv show? What are your thoughts on dystopian literature? Ranch dressing? Tyler blackburn?

jellybean529 · March 2014

Welcome to the board @sharinfaith and congrats for being brave enough to leave your abusive ex! And on changing your whole life! You are one strong woman!

I'm not much further down this path from where you are...my ex left me in September. I still feel like how you feel...depressed, sad, mourning the loss of our dreams and our family. Starting April 1 I will have health insurance so I'll be going to counseling. I've done it in the past and it helps a lot.

So, no advice/wisdom for you other than hang in there and if you ever need to talk, I'm here!

sharinfaith · March 2014

@minnesotamomma91 Hi! I like Jack Johnson mellow stuff...favorite show is Curious George (or TWD when Dahlia's asleep)...and YES! I love ranch...and so does my thighs

I don't get much away/alone time to pursue hobbies and the like. Although I've tried OKCupid (ugh.) for laughs.

@mrs.tbc thank you! hopefully i'll get insurance soon as well, because couseling seems like a pretty good idea for me at this point. And I could definitely use more people to chat with.

MinnesotaMomma91 · March 2014

I can forgive the ranch dressing love ;-) eventually you will find time for hobbies. Maybe try something new at night after the little is in bed like knitting. Its actually super fun to knit.

Welcome to the board!

20thirteen · March 2014

Oh, yes, I love to crochet. I made DD's baby blanket. Of course, I need to make a bigger one now that she's so big!

but my only free time is after she's asleep. Lol

Welcome!

MinnesotaMomma91 · March 2014

I fuck around with my mannequins and by that i mean i practice updos i see on pinsterest on them. I used to knit but it now hurts my knuckles. I also used to draw, but i just dont have the time to dedicate to it now.

My other thing i do after the little is in bed is watch big bang theory.

klv · March 2014

I went through something similar with my EX. Coming up on a year since I left him. It does get better, and now that LO is old enough to have conversations it makes it a bit easier to leave her with XH.

jesuisfatiguee · March 2014

Well hey there

AllieAlba · March 2014

Welcome, and congrats on leaving your ex! I have absolutely no advice for you, because I've never been in your situation.

Also, what is ranch dressing?

Unknown · March 2014

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20thirteen · March 2014

@alliealba - Ranch dressing is something really disgusting that Americans put on everything. Well, other Americans find it tasty but I think its absolutely the worst smelling/tasting shit ever.

20thirteen · March 2014

Here's a picture:

MinnesotaMomma91 · March 2014

Roxalot said:
@alliealba - Ranch dressing is something really disgusting that Americans put on everything. Well, other Americans find it tasty but I think its absolutely the worst smelling/tasting shit ever.

I love you, i love you so much. This just solidifies it.
Ranch dressing is not okay.

AllieAlba · March 2014

It looks like some kind of weird mix between salad cream and ceasar dressing.

20thirteen · March 2014

Lol, it's a creamy salad dressing. It smells like shit but people love adding it to everything. I don't understand why.

jellybean529 · March 2014

LOL I like Ranch dressing. In fact, it was my very first pregnancy craving, which was weird because I rarely ate it before that...I almost always used Italian dressing. My entire first trimester I ate epic tons of salads drowned in that shit.

MinnesotaMomma91 · March 2014

I used to be able to dip carrots in ranch dressing. After living with and cooking for xh who ate it on everything. And i mean everything. I cant even look at it anymore.

I was suuper embaressed by this once.Xh and i went to a really nice pizza place in portland. We each got a piece of specialty pizza and he refused to eat the pizza without ranch to dip it in.

This was the kinda place they only had ranch for salad if you got salad with you pizza. Yup, my ex refused to try this really amazing pizza without ranch.

20thirteen · March 2014

That makes me gag to even think about. Ranch on pizza? Ugh, fucking sick

MinnesotaMomma91 · March 2014

Roxalot said:
That makes me gag to even think about. Ranch on pizza? Ugh, fucking sick

Right? And he put it sandwiches, chicken parm, anything chicken, salad, veggies, pizza. Yeah.

Unknown · March 2014

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tig594 · March 2014

Ranch dressing is delicious! And yes, they have it in England. Although you might get a weird look if you ask for it in a restaurant.

sharinfaith · March 2014

whoa! i go to sleep for one night and this whole convo has turned to RANCH.

love it.

i knew i missed bumping. looks like i'm already getting back into my old hobbies

you ladies are amazing!

inthelost · March 2014

it took a lot of courage to do what you did. , You did the right thing and you did it for the most important reason: your daughter. that's ALL that matters. Keep your head up. You're going to be allright. And you can lean on us. and also it's OK to be sad at times.

MinnesotaMomma91 · March 2014

I wonder if spring1 will show up since we are talking about ranch. Maybe she will if we talk about resturant service

20thirteen · March 2014

Good or bad service? Or does it not matter?

MinnesotaMomma91 · March 2014

Doesnt matter shell show up and rant and rave about dieting, ranch dressing, bad service, and how waiters are stupid

freeatlast2014 · March 2014

Hi! I'm new here too...similar situation. I left my husband on Friday and have a 3 year old and 18 month old. He may have his first overnight with them this weekend if we can get something in writing by Friday on a temporary basis and this is causing major anxiety! Our situation is very ugly right now so I love to come here and get great support! Welcome!!

20thirteen · March 2014

I HATE SERVICE AT RESTAURANTS! But I also love service. I hate going to restaurants because my diet... I'm done with this topic already. If she doesn't show up out of the woodwork then boo. I just wasted 5sec of my life. #firstworldproblems

MinnesotaMomma91 · March 2014

Roxalot said:
I HATE SERVICE AT RESTAURANTS! But I also love service. I hate going to restaurants because my diet... I'm done with this topic already. If she doesn't show up out of the woodwork then boo. I just wasted 5sec of my life. #firstworldproblems

Damnit i think tge bump has her on an ip ban. I need to pout about this

20thirteen · March 2014

Hahaha, whatev's. if she doesn't show up to cause drama, is it really a bad thing? Lol

MinnesotaMomma91 · March 2014

Roxalot said:
Hahaha, whatev's. if she doesn't show up to cause drama, is it really a bad thing? Lol

Nope, not at all

tig594 · March 2014

Who is this person?

MinnesotaMomma91 · March 2014

Search the bump for spring1 she unleashed a whole bunch of crazy on the july13 bmb

sharinfaith · March 2014

MrsLynnyD Girl, this is scary. We have court on Tuesday. I'm trying to get her out of overnights at his place altogether. He's got his crackhead sister (literally, crackhead) living with him. My atty still says "Unless he does something to get overnights banned, the judge is going to grant them"...

BS! My X slept through every nightmare she had, every time she was teething, every time she woke up hungry, or woke up to play. She's never been away from me for the night in her whole life. She'd be terrified to wake up without me.

ellieannathomas · March 2014

I'm new to this group as well, new to being a single parent officially as of yesterday. Wish I had advice for you. What is weird for me is I'm most just sad for my son, and embarrassed I picked someone like I did to start a family with. I don't miss him, I miss the security I felt (or should I say imagined because he was never around and was rarely pleasant when he was) of having our family unit whole. The hardest thing right now is not giving in and going back-he has a pattern of promising the world and being great until he is comfortable we won't leave, then falls back into his old ways. Even though he treated me terribly just yesterday, I am finding myself remembering the times when he was good and missing that. It is what's best for LO and ultimately you though, so good job being strong enough to recognize that and take the first step. I couldn't imagine sharing LO especially over night. My SO doesn't even know what size diapers we are in, has fed LO maybe 3 times in his 11 month life, slept through him crying so hard he started choking when he was literally 6 inches away from SO in bed, has fallen asleep watching him...I am freaking out even thinking about it.

tig594 · March 2014

Making a pros and cons list helps me keep perspective. List all the good things about him. Not what you imagine was good...but what really made BD a good person. Then list the cons. My list was so off balance it was ridiculous.

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