So upset right now

Bayberry12 · March 2014

My grandmother passed away this week, it was expected, she had advanced Alzheimer's and in some ways her passing was welcomed. But it's still sad to lose a family member.
I just read her obituary that's posted online, my daughter was not included! The 11 living great grandchildren were mentioned and her family members who have passed before were listed. My daughter was left out. Didn't she matter? I am so upset. Should I ask my mom to have them make the correction? I don't want to make my grandmothers death about me, but it hurts that she wast counted.

OSUWifey09 · March 2014

***SIGGY***

Yeah...I would say something. Since the obituary's online, sounds like it could be an easy fix - and if it is, I would definitely ask for your daughter to be mentioned in there. I would be really upset, too - your daughter is still a part of your family and worth mentioning, just like everyone else. It makes me so angry when people forget about Devon, so I get it. I'm so sorry.

Bayberry12 · March 2014

I have been crying all morning, and really can't even believe that I'm in this situation. I did email my mom and she corrected it right away. I'm glad it's corrected. It just sucks that I even had to do that. It really feels like she doesn't matter. I really don't want to make this about me, I hate when people make my loss about them, but I just feel like how could forget your own granddaughter.

ikrystal · March 2014

Ohhhmygoodness. I am so sorry. That is one of my greatest fears - that my family will pretend like my boys never existed. My parents took down all the ultrasound pictures in their house and didnt put up any new ones of them. I blew up pictures for my in-laws, and they never put them up. But their houses are flooded with pictures of their other grandchildren. Just thinking about it makes me want to punch all of them.

I'm glad they corrected it. But you're right - why did they have to go back and correct it in the first place? Her name should have just been there. I feel like no one will understand how we feel about this.

jbranden12 · March 2014

I'm so sorry about your grandmother. It is really hard to watch a loved one suffer. I am pretty confident I would have reacted the same way about the obituary. My grandmother, in her lucid moments, talks about how she is ready to go take care of Patricia. She is a part of our family I'm glad your mom fiXED it but sorry you had to remind her.

Noethola · March 2014

So sorry for your loss Bay. And yes, I would have asked for it to be corrected, while totally having a breakdown that it wasn't done the first time.

schulme2 · March 2014

In so sorry about your grandmother and the hurt caused by the obituary. In would have been very upset too. I think you did the right thing by asking and I'm glad they fixed it!

mingaling2 · March 2014

I'm so glad it was corrected. {hugs}

cdale86 · March 2014

***Ticker***

I'm so sorry for the loss of your grandmother and the difficulty with the obituary. I would've also been SUPER upset. I'm so glad that the correction could be made. I'm kinda glad you posted this. I would've never thought of this being an issue, but can definitely see this happening when my grandparents pass. It's just not something you are prepared for when you are already grieving the loss of your grandmother. HUGS!

bunnybun4 · March 2014

first of all I am so sorry for the loss of your grandmother.

I would be extremely upset too if I were in your shoes. I get touchy anyway when her name is left out of things, it's like my biggest fear is for people to just forget her. I am so sorry you are going through this, I'm glad they got it fixed though.

Bayberry12 · March 2014

ikrystal said:

Ohhhmygoodness. I am so sorry. That is one of my greatest fears - that my family will pretend like my boys never existed. My parents took down all the ultrasound pictures in their house and didnt put up any new ones of them. I blew up pictures for my in-laws, and they never put them up. But their houses are flooded with pictures of their other grandchildren. Just thinking about it makes me want to punch all of them.

I'm glad they corrected it. But you're right - why did they have to go back and correct it in the first place? Her name should have just been there. I feel like no one will understand how we feel about this.

I completely understand and it hurts so much. It's like people want hide the fact that we had children or they don't think it should be talked about. It really hurts.

Bayberry12 · March 2014

cdale86 said:

***Ticker***

I'm so sorry for the loss of your grandmother and the difficulty with the obituary. I would've also been SUPER upset. I'm so glad that the correction could be made. I'm kinda glad you posted this. I would've never thought of this being an issue, but can definitely see this happening when my grandparents pass. It's just not something you are prepared for when you are already grieving the loss of your grandmother. HUGS!

It was really hard to read how many children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren she had and then read the names of those who passed before her; her husband, one son, her brothers, and it was like her great-granddaughter didn't count at all.

It sucks. All we want is know that children matter and they are remember and included. I know they won't always be included in the count of family members, but when we are listing family members who have died, they should at least be counted there.

stefuge · March 2014

I am so sorry about your grandmother. And I agree you had a right to be upset and I'm glad they corrected the obituary. ((Hugs))

nohalo21 · March 2014

I'm sorry to hear about your grandmom. You have a right to be upset. Your daughter is a part of the family. I'm glad that your mom took care of it though.

Jellybean71514 · March 2014

I'm sorry about your grandmother I lost mine too to that horrible disease and I would have been just as upset if they forgot my child in her obituary. I'm glad they corrected it- *hugs* your way xo

Maybe Joleisa · March 2014

I'm so sorry for the loss of your grandmother and I'm glad they corrected the obituary. (hugs)

ajsweeton · March 2014

****siggy warning****

I'm so sorry for the loss of your grandmother. We recently had a similar thing happen when DHs grandma passed last week. They included Elliott and Ryland in the count of great grandchildren, but they didn't mention them in the passed before section of the obituary. My mother in law was livid as she had specifically asked that they be included and one of DHs aunts decided to just put them in with the count. It didn't get corrected in our case. I'm very glad that they quickly got it corrected for you. So often our babies are left out of important things because it's too hard for some people to remember.

LyndseyTS · March 2014

I'm so sorry for the loss of your grandmother and that your daughter was left out of the obituary. I didn't respond initially because our daughter being forgotten is one of my biggest fears. I'm really glad that it was fixed quickly for you, but I would still be hurt. Sending hugs your way.

princezjk · March 2014

I am so sorry for the loss of your grandmother. Keeping you in my T&P. I am glad to hear Stella was added to the obit. It really sucks that she wasn't included originally. Lots of (((hugs)))

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