Working Moms

Switching to In home daycare- separate toys for older infant?

Hi everyone- I have a 9 month old son and am considering switching from a daycare center to an home care provider because we are having trouble affording the center. The lady that we are considering provides childcare in her home and is licensed. She has five other children that she cares for- one 4 year old, two 2 1/2 year olds, and two 18 month olds. I am really torn about whether to send him, I think I am just uncomfortable with change and feel guilty for not being able to pay for the great care he is getting at his current place. This lady comes highly recommended by a friend though. I thought I would ask you all a few questions to see if you have any feedback for me.

1- The provider asked that I bring separate toys (rattles, blocks) for my son to play with since he is still putting everything in his mouth. She is concerned he will pick up every illness the other kids may come in with if he puts the shared toys in his mouth. I asked her how she plans to keep his toys separate from the other large pile of toys and she said she has done this before with no problem. I'm worried that he will feel left out and bored with his own toys. 
2-Thoughts about DS being the only one under a year? The rest of the kids are toddlers or older.
3-anyone else make this switch and have any suggestions/advice?

Re: Switching to In home daycare- separate toys for older infant?

  • It seems kind of weird that she's asking you to bring your own toys for your kid.  But then our in-home provider was a bit of a germophobe and I'm sure wiped down all of the toys on the regular.  BUT - I don't think a 9 month old will feel left out by having his own toys.  Her bigger problem to deal with will likely be physically keeping him from playing with the other kids toys because kids always play with what other kids have.

    I don't think being 9 months younger than the youngest kids is a bad thing personally.  My DD got a lot out of watching the bigger kids (she and another boy who started as infants were the youngest of 9 kids for a year) and learned a lot from them.  Somehow she never got trampled or anything.  I think the DCPs held the babies a lot, and the crawlers got some floor time when the bigger kids were in another room doing something else.

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  • I don't see how the separate toys thing could possibly work, and im sure your LO will get sick regardless (you already have him in DC so you know it's part of life and he's already building up his immune system). I would double check ratios for your state. That seems like a lot of small children for one adult. But maybe they aren't all there everyday. I wouldn't be concerned by the age differences. My 2 kids are 18months apart, and DS learns sooo much from DD. Overall if you like her and she was personally recommended to you, it sounds like a good fit.
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  • Ditto the others.  We've used and loved more than one in home provider and being the youngest is actually really beneficial in some ways.  They learn so much, so fast trying to hang with the big kids :)  But the toy thing is weird.  Anything she provides for her clients should be provided for all her clients.  She should have infant toys and be willing to clean them regularly.  The fact is, your kid IS going to get sick but likely less so just by being at a smaller place.
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  • We were at an inhome DCP that we loved and I don't think that being with older kids is an issue. Our DCP had a separate gated area for the two that were at risk of getting trampled by older kids if she couldn't have complete focus on the kids. A 3 year old loved my DD when she was around a year and would 'read' her stories and treat her like a babydoll, she adored that girl.

    That being said, those ratios would make me think twice, it is a lot of kids at tough ages. Also, it doesn't sound like you are comfortable. Based on various factors we have been through a lot of DCPs. I've done every type of care, and rankings, recomendations etc, don't seem to matter, but my gut is always right.

    DD Nov 2010 ~ DS June 2012
  • I haven't heard of some one being asked to send in their own toys, in fact most places don't allow you to send toys from home, but even though it's unusual, I don't think it's a big red flag that she's a bad provider. To your questions:
    (1) I don't think he would be bored with his own toys at this age. He might find it comforting. You also may need to pick up a few additional ones for daycare, so those can be special daycare toys and in a few months, he'll stop putting everything in his mouth and can play with the other kids. 
    (2) The youngest in my current in-home is such a sweetheart and my kid adores her. Most preschoolers love to dote on babies, so it's just a matter of making sure they're safely playing with baby and not over doing it. Yours probably still takes two naps right? So between naps, meals, and circle time, there actually won't be that much unstructured time for your kid to be rolling around the floor with others. I wouldn't be worried about that. 
    (3) I'm making the switch in the other direction (see my post about preschoolers & aggression to get the long story) and even though our current situation has run its course, I still think in-home daycare is a wonderful model for infant care. I would definitely consider going that route again. At this age, a safe and loving environment is what you want most and some one's home can be the perfect place for that. My daughter's attachment to our provider and her whole family is really wonderful and she's really flourished there. It breaks my heart to leave. 

    You didn't bring this up, but it sounds like the provider you're considering is one lady watching 5 kids, 6 if yours joins? That seems like a lot even though it might be within state ratios. Our current in-home has 3 kids. I'm not sure how 6 would work, especially with the age range. That would be the only thing of what you describe that would leave me wondering. 
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  • thanks everyone for your feedback about the toys and older kids. It doesn't make sense to me to send toys for him when he will be in contact with the rest of the kids regardless. And interacting with older kids does seem like it would be to his benefit. 

    I checked into my state's guidelines, and it seems like she can have up to 6 kids. The rule is that if there is one infant, then only 4 toddlers. So with my son, 4 toddlers, and one preschooler, she will be at capacity I think, unless I am misreading it and she can only have 1 infant and 4 toddlers total. Anyway, it does seem like a lot to me but when I was there yesterday she seemed to be managing it ok. She also mentioned that not all of them attend every day, so I think that was the most she would have. 

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