In the middle of a miscarriage/possible ectopic pregnancy and the waiting is killing me

Olive2528 · March 2014

I've never posted on this board before but I am feeling so alone. We've been trying for our second baby for almost a year and were seeing an RE and before I could do any testing I got a very surprise BFP, I was shocked and so, so, so happy and the DR's office started monitoring my HCG levels, I never had been tested with my first pregnancy but I guess my levels were low to start and never quite doubled on time (61 at 4.5 weeks, 111 after 72 hours, 161 48 hours later at which point I was told it was likely not viable and they would keep testing until my numbers went back down, and to watch for an ectopic but they thought it unlikely). Well I went back in today and after 5 more days my level was a little over 500, so they still don't believe its viable but are beginning to worry that I may have an ectopic pregnancy. So I have to wait another 8 days and I'll have an ultrasound and retest my HCG. I just feel like I'm walking around pregnant but not pregnant, and now actually hoping I will start to miscarry on my own instead of having to go through an ectopic pregnancy. Everyone keeps telling me at least I have my daughter and she'll keep me busy (which is so true, and I am so grateful for her) but everywhere I look everyone is having a baby, there were literally three Facebook announcements tonight and I'm just stuck in this holding pattern. The lady taking my blood today actually told me I'm just going to have to brush it off and keep going, I almost burst into tears right there. Has anyone had numbers like these and then miscarried naturally? Or been through an ectopic pregnancy?! How exactly do you keep from losing your mind? Why does everyone keep saying the worst thing at the worst time?

AggieBeth06 · March 2014

***ticker warning***

Hugs to you... I'm sorry you're scared and going through this.

There are women here that know so much and may be able to give you some good information or better comfort than me.

I was just wondering why they hadn't tried an ultrasound yet? I can't see tickers, but you are after 6 weeks now, right? I guess they are doing that new time, though.

I don't know enough, but it would bother me if they were concerned and didn't attempt some imaging to try to rule out the worst fears.

Did they give you symptoms to watch for if it is ectopic?

I've been through the wait, even though everyone else thought that it was ok... But I didn't. It really is hell and no one else will every fully understand... Unless they have been there.

(((Hugs)))

Maxsmommy123112 · March 2014

With both my miscarriages I remember that 'waiting period'. I just wanted answers. It's awful and I know all too well how you feel. I am so sorry for your loss and I hope you get answers soon.

HopeNotLost · March 2014

**ticker warning**

My doctor was worried mine was ectopic because my numbers kept going up. We did an u/s and saw the gestation sac, and then a few days later saw the yolk sac. However, a few days later there was no growth, but my numbers kept rising. He was concerned there was a pseudo sac in my uterus and the embryo in my fallopian tube. I was sent to a perinatologist, where I had another u/s and saw a baby with a heartbeat. Unfortunately though, my betas just didn't keep rising and a week later I began spotting, and then five days after that, I passed the baby.

I understand feeling like you're in limbo. My whole ordeal lasted exactly 1 month from the day I found out I was pregnant to the day I passed the baby. It was awful. I pray that you have answers soon!

KingLED · March 2014

I'm so sorry you're stuck waiting. It's a truly awful feeling not knowing. I'm with @aggiebeth06, though, why haven't they tried to do an u/s yet? What was the reason for waiting 8 days if they thought it was ectopic? I've never had an ectopic, but the one time it was suspected I had an u/s later that day.

As for people saying shitty things, I'm sorry. I wish people had more common sense, but they just don't. No one really knows what to say in situations like these and it seems like the common opinion is to just keep things positive and say all these over used sayings that really just make people want to cry. It makes it a little easier, at least for me, to just remember (regardless of what douchy thing they say) that they really just mean to comfort me in some way.

FX you get some answers soon.

barely · March 2014

So sorry you are dealing with this. I've never had an ectopic, but I can sympathize with being in limbo. At my first u/s I measured 12 days behind. They told me it would be fine and that it was accurate and that's how far along I was. I had been charting and I knew they were wrong. I had to wait two weeks for another u/s, and the only reason they even did another that soon was because I had a SCH. I just knew in my heart that things were not ok, but everyone tried to tell me it would be fine. That two weeks was agony. I waited the two weeks and was so excited to finally get an answer. I was hoping I'd get some relief, but it turned out to be my worst fear coming true. Again, I'm so sorry, we're all here for you.

nohalo21 · March 2014

I'm assuming because your HCG is low they did not do the scan. My first scan was at 5 weeks when the beta went above a certain number (forget what it needs to be to be visible).

I did have a low beta, not the cycle that I became pregnant on. There was concern that it was eptopic. My RE was having me back frequently to check my betas. They also warned me to call if I was having any pains, especially in my arm/shoulder. It turned out it was a lab error and not a pregnancy after all for me that cycle.

The waiting game is the worst. Hope you get some answers soon.

Ourbubblytoes · March 2014

I just went through an ectopic and ended up losing my right tube. Your HCG has to be over 1100 for them to be able to really see anything. Mine was over 6000 but not doubling like it should. I had originally gone in for spotting at 6 weeks and they didn't see anything in the uterus but it was watch and wait. A week later, I started having pain in my right side. I went back for another u/s and they saw the baby in the right tube. I had surgery the next morning. Unfortunately, I was too far along and they were not able to save the tube. If it has been caught earlier, there may have been a different outcome.

Keep on top of your doc and if you feel anything is off, anything at all, call them. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Limbo is absolutely horrible.

Olive2528 · March 2014

Thank you so much for the kind words, it really means so much to not feel so alone. I don't understand how everyone manages to stay sane with this awful waiting game, but I guess you have no other choice but to keep on keepin on. Yes, my hcg is too low for a scan so far, as either way they wouldn't be able to see anything, I think until I get to 1200? Which at the current rate should be sometime in 2015... Ugh, half of me wants this to be finished and over with so we can move forward and the other part just can't handle the thought of this pregnancy ending after wanting it so much. I think the whole ectopic fear is making me a little paranoid, I keep feeling random cramps on one side and thinking "oh no! This is it" but it's all in my head because I'm waiting for the worst to happen, from what I've read the risk of rupture isn't until more like 7-8 weeks is that true for those of you that have been there? I'm still a slow/low 5-6 weeks right now but one if my closest friends ruptured and almost died after a missed ectopic so I'm a little edgy about it! Again, thank you for the sweet comments, it's amazing how everyone IRL is totally pissing me off (even though they truly mean well) but internet strangers seem to say just what you need to hear at that moment!

AggieBeth06 · March 2014

Ticker warning***

My HCG was around 8,000 and they were able to determine it wasn't ectopic when I went to the ER in severe pain. They dated us at 5w5d. No HB yet at that point... But they were able to see something and rule out that concern.

I guess that is just your doctor's policy,
but to me I could see the argument of it being medically necessary.

I'm sorry you're going through this.

chicagojackie · March 2014

The soonest most docs can see anything (On transvaginal u/s--the dildo cam--haha) is about a beta level of 1000-2500. There is no lab value that rules out ectopic pregnancy.

I'm sorry the lab people were crappy to you. Even if people mean to help they should maybe just keep their comments to themselves (similar to asking people if they are pregnant or not---ugh!)

We are here for you and waiting is the worst. I was so much better once I started bleeding and knew what was going to happen. xo

ASRDH · March 2014

I am recovering from emergency eptopic surgery. My numbers didn't pass 200 and were dropping so I was told I m/c in early Feb. I asked about eptopic then she said number would need to be 1500 to see anything. I bled forb2 weeks. After that was done my last hcg was 125. But 3 weeks later my breasts were horribly sensitive again. I thought it was symptoms of my next period. I can imagine this is when my numbers spiked. When first started bleeding wednesday, I thought it was my period.
Thursday I ended up in the hospital and they said my numbers were over 700 again. U/s showed eptopic. It was a scary experience. It seems your office is watching you numbers more carefully than mine did. Keep checking them. If I knew sooner, maybe I could have saved my tube.

So sorry you are going thru this.
I was probably around 9-10 weeks. I stopped counting BC I thought it was over and it only depressed me to think where I should be.

If you have questions about my symptoms, it was really severe. I won't share unless you want to know.

ACT1725 · March 2014

I had a similar experience. My husband and I got pregnant on our first try and were so not expecting it. Tested positive fairly early and called the OB to make an 8 week appt. Started having spotting a few days later and called my OB's office to let them know as this was my first pregnancy and I had no idea what to expect. They were concerned and called me in for an U/S and a blood draw. Couldn't see anything on ultrasound, but he thought maybe I was just earlier than I had thought (I think I was 5-6 weeks). Tested HCG and it did rise, but never doubled and I think I barely made it over 300. I went back and forth for multiple blood draws and then my HCG plateaued they referred me to the hospital for a more in depth ultrasound to try to rule out ectopic. Scan came back clean, but still no idea where it was. Spotting continued and a few days later I started to miscarry at home. For my first experience with pregnancy it really sucked. What made it even worse is that my best friend had just had her first baby 5 months before and another good friend was 5 months along and they had helped me announce our pregnancy to our families. I'm very sorry for what you are going through. The not knowing is excruciating and I was a wreck for those couple weeks. Keeping you in my prayers.

In the middle of a miscarriage/possible ectopic pregnancy and the waiting is killing me

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