Nwmr anyone teaching their kids about spirituality/religion in alternative ways?

groovygrl · March 2014

MH and I were both raised catholic but are not interested in practicing Catholicism. We celebrate Christian holidays bc that is our background and part of our family/culture. However, we are not strongly Christian and do not attend any church. I would like to raise our kids with some sort of spirituality and the Unitarian church appeals to me the most....however, the one in our area has a small congregation, and not being big churchgoers, we are not the type of people to just show up at a place like that where we will be noticed as being new and different and I am wary of being approached and singled out (we went to a Unitarian srvice in a different state prekids and they asked all the newcomers to stand and had ppl wearing name tags,etc it made us kind of uncomfortable and it was a bigger congregation than the one here...)I just don't want that type of attention when I am just putting out feelers for something like this, I would like to be able to just go and see what it is like there vs. feeling like I stand out.... maybe we are really weird, I don't know, but this has prevented us from really looking into many options. Soooo all that being said, I have always had this idea that it would be great to have a network of families, maybe four or five, who are similar in belief system to us, and who get together on Sundays and do activities w the kids that are related to spirituality and also include some sort of community service aspect sometimes, or something like that...it would be more about spirituality and our values than about a specific religion but I would also like them to learn about the different religions as they get older. But, then again, my husband never went to ccd, his parents apparently did some sort of home based education w some other families and he doesn't know a thing about Catholicism or Christianity (like he didn't know how to find a verse in a bible which kind of shocked me given how religious his parents are) so it clearly didn't work

Am I totally crazy? Just curious if anyone has ever heard of ways to incorporate spirituality for kids aside from traditional religions.

mittensonkittens · March 2014

I was raised catholic, DH was raised as a go-to-church-on-Easter-and-Christmas Catholic/Lutheran. We consider ourselves atheists now, but I do want to expose our kids to religion as cultural education. The best way to do that is probably to let my parents take them to church with them. But we live across the country and only see them every few months, so I'm not sure how well it will work out. The kids are still really young so we haven't done anything yet. We celebrate Christian holidays, and have a nativity scene at Christmas. I want to introduce bible stories too so they know the "characters".

I miss the sense of community that comes from being part of a church. I stumbled across a Unitarian Universalist church in the area, but I haven't attended. I would probably go by myself to feel it out since DH isn't as interested. I know what you mean about not wanting to be singled out. I guess I would just be honest that I want to see what they have to offer, and a little vague about my beliefs, and see what happens.

I'm not much help because I'm trying to figure this out too.

MommyAtty · March 2014

I've thought about doing something similar. The problem is that we live in the Bible Belt. So just about everyone we know goes to a church or at least declares themselves "members" somewhere, even if it's been years since they've attended. We have friends who are UU and love it. I just wouldn't stand up if asked. You can always tell anyone who asks you just were uncomfortable with the scrutiny. I think that's pretty common. Good luck! (And another thought, maybe try to start a meet up group for Sunday mornings for "spiritual and community-minded events for people who would like to teach their kids values and community without overt religion"?)

emberlee3 · March 2014

I was raised Catholic, and I would be willing to go back to Catholicism if I found the right church. But DH is totally against that. We are going to try the UU church. We have friends who attend and love it. DH wanted to try to teach spirituality ourselves, but a church community is really important to me. I don't think there is a substitute for that.

groovygrl · March 2014

Thanks all... Honestly half the battle is that mh would have trouble getting on board with a small congregation plus the time I got him to go to that one service they talked all about Thoreau and nature and let's just say he is not really an environmentalist so he was not totally engaged

. Maybe I just need to go by myself one day. I agree that the community of the church is really appealing... The Catholic Churches I attended growing up did not have that beyond ccd class but of course I know tons of ppl w churches that have a strong community. I am also quite liberal in my views so I feel like very lgbt welcoming churches are more appealing as I feel like they might be more in tune with my own belief system (I admit that could be over generalizing). There is one church near us that has very clear language on their website related to this so that is another place I have considered checking out, it is church of Christ I think???

groovygrl · March 2014

The incorporation of multiple religions is what is very appealing to me abou UU... And I think mh likes that too but maybe in a somewhat more traditional way... I don't think I would go alone w the kids just by myself in the beginning to see if it would be a good fit. Wrangling two four year olds who have never been to church while trying to listen and absorb the general feel is less than appealing lol! Mh actually keeps bringing up wanting to find some sort of spiritual or religious home but my response is usually ok go find one and I will come along to check it out... He never looks into it other than one time asking someone at work and I know what that person is into and I don't think it would be a good fit for us...so I think he would get on board but I would have to do the research (like in everything else... Ahem. I digress but has anyone else read overwhelmed: work love play when no one has the time? I am in the middle of it now literally and figuratively haha) . Maybe I should just go check out each one one time and see. I like how someone mentioned going once a month I feel like we could commit to that if we found a place that fit, to ease in...

groovygrl · March 2014

Ha well you can tell that does NOT happen in the Catholic Church everyone just sits stands and kneels and blends in

ETA I think the crunchy thing was probably what MH was not on board with so much, it doesnt fit him. Like any churches I am sure it varies from place to place too.

cecilyandgautam · March 2014

I'm a Baha'i (DH's Catholic) and Baha'is have a neighborhood children's virtues class curriculum that is pretty much what you describe - a few families get together, hold classes usually in each other's homes, and follow a curriculum that acknowledges God, our souls, and focuses on cultivating virtues that help the progress of our communities and our soul. The lessons are organized with: opening prayers (children encouraged to recite any prayers they know), a story, song, short quote memorization, cooperative game, and coloring. Each lesson centers around a particular virtue of the day. Neighborhood classes usually have children from differing faiths and instruction in any one particular faith is not part of the curriculum although the existence of the soul and God is a given. You can find sample lessons online and if it looks interesting to you, you could try to find a local class in your area or even start you own.

shannm · March 2014

Any Quaker meeting houses in your area? Based on what you are looking for, that might be a good fit too. DS is at a Friends school and as a moral and very tolerant agnostic, I am quite happy with the type and amount of spirituality he is exposed to and how it guides the way they educate. Great community.

CarrieB. · March 2014

DH and I were both just raised secularly, although I attended friends' youth groups and went to a Catholic University, so I know the basics of Christianity.

My DH and I both consider ourselves agnostic, but we lean a little towards Eastern religious practices like yoga and meditation.

I started doing mindfulness meditations w DD1 before bed, not every night, but enough that she gets the idea. I like books like "Peaceful Piggy Meditates" and "Happy Panda Mindful Monkey". We also do yoga together.

I just hope no one at grade school tells her she's going to hell, because that happened to me a couple times and it really sucks.

If you are looking for a community, try searching for Mindfulness or Meditation groups. I know there are some in our city.

rboisvert · March 2014

groovygrl said:

Thanks all... Honestly half the battle is that mh would have trouble getting on board with a small congregation plus the time I got him to go to that one service they talked all about Thoreau and nature and let's just say he is not really an environmentalist so he was not totally engaged . Maybe I just need to go by myself one day. I agree that the community of the church is really appealing... The Catholic Churches I attended growing up did not have that beyond ccd class but of course I know tons of ppl w churches that have a strong community. I am also quite liberal in my views so I feel like very lgbt welcoming churches are more appealing as I feel like they might be more in tune with my own belief system (I admit that could be over generalizing). There is one church near us that has very clear language on their website related to this so that is another place I have considered checking out, it is church of Christ I think???

Probably not, I'm guessing it was a UNITED church of Christ (UCC) affiliate church. Close names very different views on inclusiveness. A lot of UCC churches are what are known as ONA (open and affirming) and very LGBT friendly. It's interesting that UCC is a conglomerate so to speak of churches from a variety of denominations. So you can get very different feelings from one UCC to the next.

groovygrl · March 2014

Yes I just checked it is UCC I didn't realize there was a difference thanks for the tip.

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