Any advice for taking time off work? Do we qualify for FMLA?

Jellybean71514 · March 2014

Hi there, I just got a packet from my HR department for a leave of absence what they sent me was a maternity leave packet which is so devastating to even read because there is no baby to care for so I'm not even sure why I'm getting this because I told them what happened. Do women like us even qualify for leave? I'm still bleeding and clotting about a week later and still have slight cramping but nothing in this paperwork even mentions a loss. My first post loss appt is not until Thursday so I won't have any of this filled out until then. At this point I'm not even sure I want to go back, my fiancé and I talked about me just leaving this job to makes fresh start because it was a stressful environment to begin with that I can't handle right now but I still want what I'm entitled to having been there for 5 yrs and reading this paperwork doesn't seem like I'm entitled to much. I know the bleeding will stop eventually but mentally I'm not prepared to go back. Is there something I can do? Is there some advice someone has for me? I want to call HR and ask how do I fill out this paperwork but not sure how to explain why I need the time, that I can't focus, can't stop crying and can't get out of bed some days. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks guys. Xo

mingaling2 · March 2014

You would qualify for medical leave and can take up to 12 weeks. Your doctor will need to fill out the forms regarding when you are able to return back to work (which I'm sure will not be a problem).

Mrodriguez898 · March 2014

You do qualify for medical leave. It will be under "serious medical condition" I believe. I myself qualified for it but decided not to use it yet as we are allowed to use it in increments. Have your OB fill out the paperwork.
So sorry for your loss. I know it's hard and I myself had a hard time going back to work because the last day I was there I also was under a lot of stress. Take the time to get better and remember this board is here to help you with any questions

erinel · March 2014

Yes, you would definitely qualify for FMLA. I think ou should take some time off to help your mental state. My baby was five weeks old when he died, and that was four weeks ago today, and I still haven't returned to work. I'm thinking about going back soon, although just for an hour or two a day to start. I know you said your job is stressful, but I would find out if they might let you start back on a modified schedule.

Jellybean71514 · March 2014

Thank you all for your advice when I see the doctor Thursday I will ask what he can do for me thanks again xo

shandorfml2 · March 2014

You qualitfy for FMLA. We've given birth (or had a medical procedure) and are entitled to heal. We just unfortunately don't have the baby part of the deal.

Jellybean71514 · March 2014

The paperwork just asks if you have a child to care for as an option for FMLA I guess that's why I was questioning if women like us qualify - I'm hoping my doctor can help write the right things to qualify me.

lrichmond86 · March 2014

I was also given "maternity leave" with my first loss because I was induced and delivered. My understanding was that maternity leave it intended for physical recovery after birth which is why my leave was classified that way. So sorry your dealing with this.

Jellybean71514 · March 2014

Thank you I too was induced and delivered- they said I would qualify for short term I guess the way I feel right now is I need longer so looking to also get FMLA - either way we will figure it out I have savings that will help too if needed. I just feel like I want a fresh start and not going back may help me do that but I need the health benefits until my fiancé and I can get married which we will plan soon esp if I don't go back to work. Thanks again I appreciate the support, everyone on this board has been great xo

milb11 · March 2014

I was also induced and delivered. I qualified for 6 weeks maternity leave and then additional 6 weeks FMLA, if needed. I chose to return to work after 6 weeks, which was still rough for me. There is a lot involved with healing, physically and mentally. You should take all the time you need to heal.

Jellybean71514 · March 2014

Thank you I'm hopeful and trying each day even if I just manage to shower and don't leave the house.

angelsnight · March 2014

Ticker warning

I'm so sorry for your loss. For me, despite being qualified for 12 weeks, I was only eligible for 6 weeks in the case of my loss because the first six weeks is considered the time to heal physically for the birth/delivery, and the last six weeks is considered bonding time. I guess because I didn't have a baby to bond with, I was denied that extra six weeks (though I didn't try for it, I was happy with six weeks). So just an FYI, they may approve you for the entire 12 weeks, just the amount of time you need to physically heal.

Going back to work was very very hard, but honestly it would have been that hard had I gone back at 12 vs 6. It may have even been harder after being away for so long. But going back to work also did me good....the first month and a half was awful, but having structure to my day and getting back to a routine also helped. Hugs to you.

stefuge · March 2014

I was given 8 weeks maternity/recovery time off ( I had a c-section) but my doctor told me she would put me on medical leave for as long as I wanted, so if you are wanting more time, talk to your doctor and see what they can do.

Maybe Joleisa · March 2014

lrichmond86 said:

I was also given "maternity leave" with my first loss because I was induced and delivered. My understanding was that maternity leave it intended for physical recovery after birth which is why my leave was classified that way. So sorry your dealing with this.

You are very lucky for being given your maternity leave--kudos to your employer!

@Jellybean71514‌ Take however much time you need. Your loss is still so new it is hard to predict how you will feel in a couple weeks. I had heavy bleeding for about 2.5-3 weeks, so I knew there was no way I'd want to deal with that at work. Luckily I have a great boss. My FMLA paperwork had 3 choices: maternity (no documentation needed), medical leave for a family member and medical leave for self (5 pages of paperwork for my doc to fill out). They checked off medical leave for self and I emailed my boss furious that I'd have to get something filled out by the doctor after giving birth to my babies. She was upset that happened, as well, and told me to take as much time as I needed. ( I've been at my job for 12 years and have tons of sick & vacation time built up.)

OSUWifey09 · March 2014

***SIGGY***

I took six weeks of medical leave. I had FMLA paperwork filled out by my doctor and he put that he was OKing me to take up to the full 12 weeks but insisted I be out for at least six. Do whatever you feel is best. I was OK going back after six [and wound up taking time off throughout the next few months when I needed; my office was really understanding and flexible], but you may need more time. And you should take it, if you can.

Jellybean71514 · March 2014

Thank you all, I agree and plan to take what I need regardless of what they give me and in time will decide if I even want to go back or start fresh somewhere else closer to home and less stress - I work in NYC for a large company and your usual corporate rat race environment so being back there is not going to help me heal to be honest, the people are not all that genuine- I also have to get a MRI for a slow re growing meningioma tumor that was put on hold due to the pregnancy so I can probably get time for that too depending if I need radiation or surgery for it - we will see right now I'm trying to get thru one day at a time I guess - thanks again for listening and your advice xo