Do you still wonder what caused your losses?

lizok22 · March 2014

I am having a pretty normal pregnancy but i still think about my 2 losses and wonder why? Supposedly 70% of miscarriages are caused by chromosonal disorders but from others that i talked to, most were unexplained. Mine were both tested and deemed "normal" and the doctors could not tell me anything. All I know is that I have one healthy son, i lost 2 girls and now i am having another boy. Can i not carry girls? I just still wonder why I had to go through these losses and if i could have done anything.

alli65 · March 2014

Every single day. I have had two losses myself. I am pregnant for the third time, and wonder constantly if everything is going alright inside of me. My second loss was a girl, I am not sure of the first they wouldn't test the first time around. My second loss was due to Trisomy 16. I will never understand.

lizok22 · March 2014

its just so hard. i wanted answers so bad and i never got them. i keep wondering if it will happen again. i still worry every day.

voplo · March 2014

To be honest, I have been wondering this myself. I had a son, and I only know the other ones were girls, no problems... None can give me an explanation of why I misscarriaged. Now I am pregnant again, but this stubborn child won't open his/her legs. I wonder if it is another boy :-/

ksulli · March 2014

I didn't have any testing done. It was a missed m/c (diagnosed about 2w after baby passed), which leaves me feeling like it was a chromosome issue because if it had been a hormonal deficiency or something along those lines I think the m/c would have started itself. No medical reason for that belief, just how I feel and I'm okay with that, so I just let it be.

ksyknelvr73 · March 2014

Sounds crazy but I have wondered the same thing. I have only successfully carried boys to this point as well.

delatl · March 2014

Mostly, I'm at peace now that it was a chromosomal issue. Although I'll always wonder if it was progesterone or my endometriosis creating a problem with the lining.

Serenla · March 2014

ksulli said:
I didn't have any testing done. It was a missed m/c (diagnosed about 2w after baby passed), which leaves me feeling like it was a chromosome issue because if it had been a hormonal deficiency or something along those lines I think the m/c would have started itself. No medical reason for that belief, just how I feel and I'm okay with that, so I just let it be.

Honestly this, I don't like to really stress myself over it.

BANBIE18 · March 2014

I thought i was the only one. I had two misscarriages of twins the second one was a boy and a girl. My water broke at 18 weeks due to a uterine septum, we didnt know about this until i got tested after my second miscariage... It was a complete agony... I have flashbacks almost every day about their sonograms, the hospital i think about them constantly... I try not think about it but it follows my every thought. I know the cause and i still dont understand so u not alone i think its normal.! Hang in there

Avion22 · March 2014

I've wondered, especially since the pathology from my D&C came back "normal" -- but really, when you think about it, SO MANY things have to happen perfectly for a healthy fetus to develop, and sometimes it just doesn't go right (even if there are no genetic or chromosomal issues). I've come to accept that the miscarriage wasn't caused by anything that I did or didn't do, and that's really all that's important to me.

2ndGeneration · March 2014

I've had three m/c-one many years ago and two last year. I do wonder. With the two last year (or the first one either), I did not have a d&c (losses at 10 and 9 weeks) so no testing of poc. I did have a complete workup with the RE after the last one and all my tests came back totally normal, as did dh's. We are assuming chromosonal abnormalities, since I am 42.

I'm 7wk2d now and hoping I got the 'golden egg' this time. I am so worried though.

JessicaG220 · March 2014

I wonder every single day with both of my losses. The only cause that could be found at 30 weeks with my daughter was the cord around her neck, but there was no way to confirm that was the definite reason. And the tests that were done after my blighted ovum all came back normal, so we'll never know. I don't know if it's better or worse to know or not. But I will always wonder, too.

lizok22 · March 2014

Its true, i don't know if its better or worse to know or not know. I just know that I never felt so betrayed by my body as when I had 2 losses in a row. My whole world came crashing down and I felt like the universe was off. You lose faith in the world when something that should be so beautiful goes so horribly wrong. I questioned everything.

Junebug060609 · March 2014

Neither of my losses had testing done and I think I will always wonder. Probably was something chromosomal, both bc it is so common and bc I was older (34 & 36) at the time. In my case it doesn't seem to be a b/g thing since I am about 50 days from one of each.

I do know someone who can only have girls. She had two second tri losses of boys before they dug deeper with testing. Turns out there is something that runs down her maternal side that they can only have girls. She has since had a healthy little girl and had two older girls already at home.

SandSunBliss · March 2014

I know that I will never know, but I guess I've also reached the point where I've stopped trying to figure it out... I don't really wonder anymore. It's not that I don't love them, but I guess my curiosity is gone because I know I will never find the answers.

amwangel · March 2014

I have wondered specifically if I can't carry girls. "Bad luck" is my diagnosis. Four pregnancies, two losses and two boys (one still inside me).

I know several people who've had 2+ losses in a row who have kids of all the same sex. I did some research of studies, but couldn't find anything conclusive except that MAYBE some women cannot carry boys.

If we want a third, I don't want to go through that agony again! :-/

sunflwra · March 2014

We know physically why we lost our son- a cord accident, my OB has pictures of the strictures in his cord which would have quite dramatically reduced blood flow. His growth slowed bc of it and when I was at 20 weeks, he was only measuring 16 weeks. We'd done genetic testing early on and everything was clear, I had no clotting issues, etc. Unfortunately, I still wonder why- so it's tough even if you know the cause. I do know that a lot of people never get specific answers though and that's got to be tough as well. I hope you can get a sense of peace with your pregnancy even when thinking of the whys.

mileswithmyles · March 2014

All the time. I had an early loss and had passed all tissue by the time I made it to the doctor. I wonder if that baby was a boy or girl and how things might have been, especially with my old EDD coming up in a few weeks.

kimmyberly26 · March 2014

Quite a bit. My first miscarriage was twins at 12w3days according to their growth. We weren't able to do any chromosomal testing so I find if hard to not have that closure. My second loss was due to Turner's so there was more closure even though if sucked. They then found that I had Hypothyroid and I always wonder if I would have carried my twins to term had we known about my hypo before. But thenI pprobably wouldn't have this blessing that I do know.

dragonfly711 · March 2014

I had my mmc at 11 1/2 weeks. I had a DnC and had chromosomal testing, everything came back normal. I do not know at this time if that baby was a boy or girl. I did not want to know at that time. Now that I am pregnant again at almost 27 weeks I want to ask Dr if baby was a boy or girl. I just want a little closure for that.

It took me awhile to be ok with what happend. I know so many things have to go right for a baby to be born. Something was just not meant to be and it was my body telling me that something was not right.

I know someone that got pregnant and would mc and each time she mc it was a girl. She now has a baby boy who is almost 2. For some reason she was not able to carry a girl.

I have to admit I have come to terms on what happend but I will never forget. My EDD back in Sept was very hard. I found out I was pregnant a month later.

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