Seriously, STM's, how do you DO it?!

lalaith50 · March 2014

I can't even imagine taking care of an infant like I am now while having, for example, a toddler running around. How do you DO it?! The only way I can get myself through the long night wakings is by thinking about how i have nothing to do the next day except nap and take care of this little baby! How can you possibly get through the day while also tending to the needs of a toddler? I've always thought I wanted more than one or two kids, but now I'm like, "no way!" This poor kid is going to have to be an only child... I hope my mind changes over the next months/years, but I just can't fathom how anyone could take care of an infant plus other kids!

karacakes98 · March 2014

You survive. And nap whenever possible.

carrieandtim · March 2014

You just do...it IS hard. Not gonna lie. Sometimes you don't nap! But it's so worth it to me for my kids to have siblings. "This too shall pass" is part of what I tell myself. It's just a fraction of my life and their lives!

I just walked downstairs holding both kids because my DD is starting to be a little jealous when it's just mommy at home. My DH went back to work yesterday and she truly has to share me now.

DTNZ4Ever · March 2014

That is why my DSs are 5 years apart. I already has DS putting bottles together running upstairs to get things I forgot. Oh and a lot of Disney Jr. I don't know how people do it with 2u2. I think part of it is when LO1 is about 6-8 months not mobile and on a schedule it's easy so you think oh this isn't bad. So you start TTC then by the time the baby is born and you have a crazy toddler and you are like WTF. Plus being a STM it's not all new and so overwhelming since you know what to do and expect. I also know that my recovery PP is so much easier and quicker this time compared to last.

ring_pop · March 2014

Well, it takes less time and energy to learn the ropes the second time. Everything doesn't seem to be as big a deal (poor second child!). The needs and wants of an infant are so limited compared to a toddler, so it just seems simpler by comparison, I guess.

Oh, and you're already kind of used to the sleep deprivation. :-/

Don't worry... I, too, thought that DS1 would be an only child for the first ~6 months of his life

KariB509 · March 2014

How do I do it? Ds has been going to daycare while I stay at home with LO. Not sure how I'd do it alone with two kids all day when I'm horribly sleep deprived.

jrw526 · March 2014

You just do. DS watches more tv than I'd like, but it's better than him getting into things while I'm nursing.

Also, we're still sending him to daycare because we'd lose our spot if we didn't. But due to the snowy winter, he's been home more than he's been at school.

When I'm home with both kids my goal is to keep everyone fed and tears to a minimum. If I get anything else accomplished, that's just a bonus.

kelley72 · March 2014

I remember thinking when mine were young how wonderful modern conveinances were and how in the world did women in the 1800's etc do it... I think it is all your perspective, what expectations you have and if they are attainable or not... I had 4 under 5 and I thought and still do it was the most beautiful, difficult blessing in the world.

All of the ladies here with 2u2 have different expectations and realities financially, socially, etc and what they want and prioritize are probably not what you/ others with longer spacing have... It does work though, I'm living proof mine are now 15, 13, 12, and 11 and I'm back for another round

ps I'd love to have another after this one just not sure it's in the cards

memo9 · March 2014

ring_pop said:

Well, it takes less time and energy to learn the ropes the second time. Everything doesn't seem to be as big a deal (poor second child!). The needs and wants of an infant are so limited compared to a toddler, so it just seems simpler by comparison, I guess.

Oh, and you're already kind of used to the sleep deprivation. :-/

Don't worry... I, too, thought that DS1 would be an only child for the first ~6 months of his life

This exactly! Having a newborn has been so much easier the second time around.... Just like I hope having a 2 year old is a little easier the next time around. Experience goes a long way

SamJustice · March 2014

DS1 is already really independent. Not horribly proud to say, but there have been multiple occasions while I fell asleep on the couch after feeding him breakfast. He just goes off to play and will wake me up if he either needs me or the baby is crying hahaha

bunniekrissy · March 2014

Agreed, the newborn is less overwhelming the second time around. Ds1 is 2 and he has been really good, just follows me and baby around all day. We have a couple of baby gates to divide the house which helps. I was pretty intimidated at first but it is working out...

[Deleted User] · March 2014

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jennybean80 · March 2014

A combinations of his playroom, Disney Junior and my parents!! DS1 has been having some extra grandma and grandpa time to give me time alone with the babies. He thinks it's the best thing ever!!

mcfife09 · March 2014

honestly @Ring_Pop said it best. My husband takes over the Toddler whenever he is home, I focus on the new baby. And just knowing how freaking much you love them, you just keep swimming

In the middle of the night when I'm dead tired I always say, soon she'll not need me like this, soon I'll be begging her for a kiss, she'll be going to kindergarten, too soon much too soon. So right at this very second you might think things will always be this hard, but really you forget so quickly and it all changes so fast. While giving birth 6 days ago I was telling myself HELL NO NEVER AGAIN- now I'm like I'll wait a little bit, but I have to have one more… crazy hormones

Momackf · March 2014

My other children are my helpers!!! I have a 6,5,&4 year old and they love to help when they can.. You eventually find your own rhythm and it all works out:)

SurpriseAt39 · March 2014

kelley72 said:
.........It does work though, I'm living proof mine are now 15, 13, 12, and 11 and I'm back for another round
ps I'd love to have another after this one just not sure it's in the cards

You're a brave woman @kelley72‌

(Were you the other mom that was going to have DD with you at delivery? If so, how did it go? ...you already delivered, right? I'm mobile and can't see...)

SurpriseAt39 · March 2014

I'm on day 3 of 2u2 at home.
DH is off until March 30 so he is taking charge over the (almost) 16 month old DS most of the time, while I nurse and care for the new LO.
We do take turns. DS1 isn't overly jealous at the moment. He still gets snuggles from mommy. And we sit all together so he can get used to being with DS2.

We haven't had any issues so far, but it's only been a couple days.
In general, we play music and DS1 runs around playing with his toys and terrorizing the cat.

I'm not sure how things will go after DH returns to work, but grandma & grandpa still take DS1 one day a week, and I have him scheduled at daycare 2 days a week for then next few weeks while we all get settled.
I'm not sure if we will keep up the daycare after April/May, since I'm off work until next March, it will depend on my sanity I guess. Lol.

kelley72 · March 2014

SurpriseAt39- no I've got all boys... Did have my oldest with me at last delivery, he was so cute and interested. None of the boys plan to be at delivery this time they will come afterwards...

NortyLeigh · March 2014

My boys are 13 months and 3 weeks apart. It's tough when they both need me at the same time and DS1 doesn't understand why I can't do what he wants when he wants it as well as when he tries to hit his little brother, but honestly, I feel like it will be more difficult when the baby is crawling and getting into everything while the older one is walking and getting into everything. It's exhausting running on no sleep but at least the baby can be contained in the rock 'n play and mostly just sleeps. I'm really excited to have my boys so close in age once they get a little older and can play together. Also, I don't really love the newborn stage and will be glad to have all the baby stuff done at once.

BabiesFTW · March 2014

It helps that I've already been through the whole lifestyle adjustment. I'm used to not having time for myself and nothing going as planned.

Not saying its easy. There are many moments when I think how nice it would be if I could just lounge with my newborn each day and I am glad preschool is next fall. But as others have said, you just do it because you have to and because you love your older one just as much.

CMheart1011 · March 2014

I don't know how I'm doing it. Like others have said, the newborn seems a little less overwhelming this time, but my DD just hit the terrible twos and it's horrible. Yesterday when DH got home all 3 of us were crying.

huskymomma94 · March 2014

I'll let you know when I figure it out.

Nickiechan · March 2014

I am having more difficulty transitioning now with having two then only one. It has been overwhelming and very draining. I think right now I'm in survival mode. It has been awhile since I had a shower. Thank goodness I capsule my placenta it gives me a lot of energy to keep going even though I run on only a couple hours sleep. It is hard...

Nickiechan · March 2014

TallAsh said:
A good wrap or baby carrier is key to my survival. I NEED to have my hands free.

This!!! !!!! !!!

ntdane · March 2014

Disney Jr. saves me. I'm also trying to get out of the house with everyone so we stay busy. It's tough but you just do what you can.

Zombielove126 · March 2014

I had 2u2 12 years ago, I have no idea how I got through that. I just did, they were so sweet and happy. They are 15 months apart. Now fast forward 12 years, add in an 8 year old little boy, and a newborn baby (preemie). This shit is nuts!! My girls are insanely hormonal and they fight ALL of the time, it's exhausting! I thought they would be happy to help, boy was I wrong! I guess it's partially my fault because I'm not really ready to let them handle her yet. I'm sure my life would be easier if I were willing to let them help more. My saving grace is my little boy, he is the sweetest thing ever, he's always willing to fetch things for me. So cute. I got through 2u2, I will survive this as well!

PerkyErky · March 2014

Lots of tears (mostly mine), excessive cartoons, DS1 in kindergarten for part of the day, an amazingly supportive and helpful DH, help from grandparents, and basically being in a blurry fog for now.

clo1982 · March 2014

I think people already hit the big things...you already went through the big lifestyle change of having no time to yourself, you realize newborns are actually pretty low maintenance when compared to crazy toddlers, you have more confidence in your abilities, you already are used to less/lighter sleep, and you have way more bottles of your favorite wine/beer/liquor on hand than you did with your first!!

The biggest change for me has been how long it takes to get out of the house. With dd I threw one diaper and a few wipes in a bag and headed on out...5 minute prep time tops. Now I have to wrangle her, get DS in his seat (where he instantly will poop and need a new diaper), get his stuff together, get a bottle in case he is hungry, etc, etc.

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