11 days since 2nd D&C...struggling — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

11 days since 2nd D&C...struggling

I lost my second baby and had another D&C 11 days ago. I was 8 1/2 weeks on both pregnancies (although this last one I thought I was 11 1/2 weeks).

I've been so mad this time. I don't want to accept. I don't understand.

I can't focus at work (which is really bad because I am self employed and need to keep business going). I want to serve my clients but my head still in a cloud. I'm not motivated and just wishing I could 'hurry this along' so I get over it. I know it's not something you get over... But I'm tired of feeling like this. I cried today over something I didn't need to cry over.

Suggestions for how to get through this ...? :(

Re: 11 days since 2nd D&C...struggling

  • I wish I had some great advice for you but I am working very hard to keep it together myself in several everyday life (which is now challenging...) scenarios. I think it is important to not have to "pretend to be OK" around people you're close to and to only "have to put on a happy face" for work, required social functions, etc. I'm so sorry you have had two D&C's. That is awful.
    BFP #1: It's a GIRL! DD born October, 2012
    BFP #2: m/c at 7w, February, 2014
    BFP #3: It's a BOY! Please be our rainbow! Due February, 2015
    *everyone always welcome*
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    Laurenheat5
  • I'm so sorry and can sympathize. I was in such a fog at work for the first couple of weeks after my last m/c in January, which was my second. I know it sounds like a cliche, but time has really been the thing to help me the most. Unfortunately, after the m/c days felt like weeks and weeks felt like months, but it slowly got better. There are still things that set me off, but they're fewer and further between. Like chicagojackie said, don't try to pretend when you don't have to, let yourself feel the anger and the sadness, and definitely lean on those who can provide support. Hugs to you both!
    Me: 41, DH: 42, married 2009
    BFP #1: 12/05/2012; EDD 08/09/2013; MC 01/2013 (missed, D&C)
    BFP #2: 12/19/2013; EDD 08/25/2014; MC 01/2014 (natural)
    Laurenheat5chicagojackie
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  • I'm so sorry. I wish there was some sort of advice to give, but there's just not. Like PPs have said, only time will really help and not pretending everything is okay all the time will help you work through the pain a little easier.

    So far the only thing that really helps me is distraction, but even then it only does so much.
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    Laurenheat5
  • Thank you, ladies. I appreciate it. My goal for the week is to just survive :) I'm sorry you each are going through this too. I hope each of us finds the strength and peace we seek for this day, this week.
  • I completely understand where you are coming from and you shouldn't feel bad about it one bit.  I think in addition to simply coping with the loss emotionally (I have also had 2 consecutive miscarriages), your hormones are simply a mess after having a d&c.  That caused me to cry over the most minor things.  In fact, what I found helpful was actually watching a movie I knew would make me cry, and just letting it all out.  Silly, I know, but it helped.  I'm now 3 weeks post d&c and things are *much* better than they were a week ago but I still have a ways to go.  Time heals all wounds, even ones that cut you to the core.

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    gabbagalMaxsmommy123112Laurenheat5
  • I am so sorry for your losses. I have also had 2 consecutive miscarriage around that time. When I found out I was miscarrying again I thought it wouldn't be as hard as the first time because, well, I had experienced it before. The truth it's just as painful, if not worse.

    I agree with PP that your hormones could also be causing you to feel extra sensitive. I am a month and a half out from my D&C and just this past week I was able to reflect and take a deep breath and say "okay, I am starting to feel better. I am starting to heal". I'm actually surprised at how much better I am feeling these days.

    That said, it's taken a lot for me to say that (a few therapy appointments an RE appointment, lots of mantras). I know I will have awful days and I will have good ones but I will just take it day by day and not expect anything from myself.

    Take a deep breath. Today, feel what you are feeling and have hope that tomorrow will be better.

    ((Hugs)) I know the feeling. Time will help you cope.
    Laurenheat5
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