Advice for a non-sleeping 3 year old!

Frenchteachermama · March 2014

Hi ladies!

I've officially had it. I need some thoughts/advice...sorry if this is long.

My 5.5yo and 3yo daughters share a room. My oldest is in kindergarten and the youngest in daycare. The girls share a room in our home because the oldest was a HORRIBLE sleeper (runs in the family I guess) until we moved her baby sister into her room. Now she sleeps from 7:30-6:30am with no problems (except for the occasional nightmare). My youngest is trying to kill me. She wakes up anywhere between 1-4 times a night and comes into our room. I have to get out of bed, bring her back to her bed, give her a kiss and she eventually settles back to sleep. Because we are TTC if she comes in after 4:00am I let her get in bed with us so I can temp without moving around too much. I'm not against co-sleeping, except I HATE when anyone touches me while I'm sleeping, including my husband lol. I can't let her scream or cry-it-out in her room because my oldest is in kindergarten and I need her to get a good nights sleep. I like the idea of my girls sharing a room for many reasons, we have an open guest room and craft room and I grew up sharing a room with my sister and loved it.

Bedtime is a 8:00pm, she falls asleep on her own without us in the room. If she naps she wakes up in the middle of the night, if she doesn't nap she wakes up in the middle of the night....I'm about to lose my mind. She's a little too young to understand a reward system and is also very strong willed and doesn't seem to care about them either. HELP!!

I could threaten her by changing the craft room into her bedroom for a few nights but that seems cruel...or maybe just let my oldest get a few horrible nights sleep? ugh....

lauralew · March 2014

She may surprise you with a reward chart...maybe she gets a sticker for every night she doesn't come into your room. Make the big reward exciting and something she gets relatively quickly. Like after three nights she gets to pick out a book at the library. Stickers may be enough, you never know! Also, what would happen if you put agate in their doorway? I'm terrified for when I put my toddlers on beds instead of cribs...I'm not looking forward to this situation!

stefuge · March 2014

I'm sorry you are struggling with this - sleep is so important! When we moved DS to a bed (he was 3) we told him he could not get out of bed until either mommy or daddy came to get him, or if his clock said 7. Then we put a digital clock by his bed and taped over the minute numbers so he could only see the hour. This has worked for us. When he wakes up he calls for us, or waits til 7. He knows he can play with his stuffed animals or read a book quietly in bed until 7 if he wakes up early, but he doesn't get out of bed. As for a reward system - we use one for DS with chores and good behavior (he is now 3 1/2) , and it has worked really well for him (also used it for potty training). He earns little puff balls, and when his jar is full he gets a treat, and i really like that we are rewarding good behavior versus punishing bad. You might be surprised - the rewards might work better than you think. GL!

Frenchteachermama · March 2014

Thanks everyone for your support! I forgot to mention that we also have one of those clock alarms, it's a stop light that stays red and then turns green when they are allowed to get out of bed. She totally ignores it. I also did the jar reward system, she ignored that too. I'm going to try to make a more detailed sticker chart today, for bedtime routine and sleeping through the night. If that doesn't work I think I'm just going to have to gate their door and hope my oldest doesn't wake up through her screaming or break down and give up my craft room and give each girl their own bedroom

If I do the gate maybe I'll start it on Friday so if DD1 is woken up at least it's over the weekend...

I'll keep you all posted! Thanks so much for all of your suggestions!

lauralew · March 2014

Stick with the reward system for at least two weeks. It may take a bit of consistency to catch on. And I completely agree with doing the gate over the weekend. Good luck!!

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