For those who have had babies in the NICU

Jamie718 · March 2014

If you're husband had two weeks off work, would you rather him take it while the babies are in the nicu or wait until they come home?

PurpleIris30 · March 2014

Wait until they are home for the bulk of the time. I needed help getting around for a few days after my C-section. He then left to go home and work (I was airlifted to a NICU that was about 100 miles away), and I lived in their NICU room until I had clearance to drive.

With all of the NICU nurses, I didn't need help until they were discharged and we were on our own.

jocie2581 · March 2014

Another vote to wait until they are home. My DH took two days off when they were born. Then two days off after each one was discharged from the nicu.

carrotcake06 · March 2014

Agree w pp. I wanted him there while I was in the hospital but I could handle them both In the NICU solo. Wait until they come home.

Jamie718 · March 2014

Ok, that sounds like a good plan. I know nicus probably aren't all the same, but do they have certain times you can visit or can you be there all day?

TheDairyQueenx3 · March 2014

It really depends on the situation. If you have older children and no one to look after them while you are at the NICU then that would be something to consider otherwise I would recommend waiting until you bring them home.

All NICUs you can be there at any time of day. Well most are like that.

PurpleIris30 · March 2014

You could be in our NICU all day and night. I slept in a recliner type chair in their room and got up at night to do care times with the nurses and to pump.

yinyang124 · March 2014

In agreement with the rest of the posters. I think it's common for parents to be allowed in the NICU 24/7, unless there is some type of procedure happening on one of the babies or if they are sanitizing the room. I personally chose not to spend the night there because I live only ~20 minutes away, but I did call every 2 hours to check on them while I pumped.

e74 · March 2014

I agree with the others. I had an older child at home. While we did not have family nearby who could help after my csection, we paid the person who helped out while I was on bed rest to continue to help... One of my twins came home before the other and I still told him to keep working. I wanted the help when they were both home!

AmandaFaith · March 2014

My DH is saving his leave for when our twins are discharged from the NICU. He took about a week off when I was in hospital bedrest/when they were born, but he returned to work shortly after. We're now almost 7 weeks into our 15+ week NICU stay.

gault530 · March 2014

Definitely wait until they come home. No question.

LucyRicardo3 · March 2014

That's pretty much what we just did with our recent singleton after a 10 week NICU stay.

DH took off the 3 days between delivery and my release. He went back to work the next day and a friend drove me to the NICU the first couple of days and he would pick me up on his way home from work. Then after I was good to drive, we had to rotate out days for NICU time between the two of us and our other 4 kids since we had no other reliable/affordable options. It was very tough physically and emotionally, but it was the best scenario given all of the options.

He had already set up with his boss that we were anticipating staying in the NICU through the due date so his boss had a pretty good guestimate of when he would need a few days off when we came home. He took off 4 or 5 days I think. If it had been twins again, i would definintely needed more of his time at home then.

daisy19782011 · March 2014

MH had 5 days off and I wanted him at the hospital with me and to drive me back and forth to see the girls. I was worried about them coming home with just me, but my mom came 1 day and others came and helped me feed them. I am still glad he was with me at the beginning while we were figuring everything out.

JoDoc · March 2014

I am the rarity here, my husband had 6 weeks off. Our boys were in NICU for 16 days. It was nice because he was able to drive us to the hospital, I wouldn't have been able to due to pain meds. (I'd had a C-section) Had he only had 2 weeks, I'd have preferred he take them when they got home.

At our hospital's NICU we were allowed to be there any time of the day or night, except during shift change. That lasted anywhere's from 30-60 minutes. During that time, had we been at the hospital, we'd just go to the cafeteria and get something to eat or drink, or just sit and chat with each other. It was a nice "get-away" from the beeping and constant activity in NICU.

Brummy14 · March 2014

Wait until they're home. DH took of a day or two after the girls were born, but saved all of his vacation time for when the girls came home. I basically lived in the NICU, anyway -- and he would stop in over lunch and after work some days. You'll want the help once they're discharged.

Missi576 · March 2014

He is waiting until the girls get home. Because we don't have family close that can help out, we only get to go up together during the 11:30pm and midnight cares for the girls, help with caring for them, skin to skin / latch on a bit for an hour to an hour and a half, and then come home. The rest of the day I am teaching the older girls using virtual school, he is at work, and we spend the early evening with the 10 and 12 year old because we feel like they need some of our time as well. We'd take them to the hospital with us and they would be fine and well behaved, but we've caught flack from the administration of the hospital about liability ~rolls eyes~ There are some definite struggles with doing it this way. Of course, the obvious I want to be the one that is there for them all time especially now that they are in cribs. Some of the day shift nurses are convinced we just leave our kids in the NICU and don't care.. can they not read the charts that we are there EVERY evening without fail to hold and care for them? ~sigh~

So, with the current circumstances, totally going with lots of time off of work once the twins are home. Good luck with your situation

seawater · March 2014

Same: I'd wait until they get home. It's definitely a different world when you get home and don't have the nurses help anymore (for you and for the babies!) And something we didn't think about right away was the possibility of one coming home sooner than the other. Just something to consider.

AmandaFaith, just wanted to say good luck to you during your remanding NICU time! Hope it's uneventful for you.

cukimerrydoll · March 2014

My husband took his in the NICU: the first two weeks in the NICU were touch and go, so he went back once they were more stable and will take what he can when they come home. His work offers up to 4 weeks at once (financially not feasible), which would exclude time at home. They've also never had NICU pregnancies in the company, so what they allow for him will set the precedent.

One of his co-workers has relatives who are NICU nurses, so he's been helping us and the company navigate how to handle everything and try to add some flexibility. The general manager is letting him take two sick days for their discharge dates regardless of what corporate's decision is for his leave. Otherwise, we've considered filing for FMLA if he is eligible when they come home.

For those who have had babies in the NICU

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