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Helicopter Mom Already

rovingminstrelrovingminstrel member
in Parenting
BTDT moms, can you weigh in on leaving your LO 'alone' (read: playing in a babyproof area at home within sight/hearing)? I feel so guilty leaving my 9mo old to play by herself for even 30-45mins, even just so I can make dinner or take a shower while DH is at work. As a STAHM, how can I get myself past this hump and realize she's old enough to entertain herself, without feeling like I'm neglecting her? She's going to have to learn eventually that I can't always 'rescue' or entertain her - and I even know it's not good to always rescue her! She needs to solve her own developmentally-acceptable problems. Did you ever have this difficulty? How can I become less of a helicopter mom? Thanks so much!
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Re: Helicopter Mom Already

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  • RondackHikerRondackHiker member
    That's a long time to me. I don't leave my three year old that long, at least without checking on him.

    Like PP, at that age I'd shower during naps. I'd leave DS to do dinner prep (or have him play near me), but if I left him alone I'd check on him every few minutes.


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  • myatalamyatala member
    I forget when Owen finally decided he was willing to spend time in the playpen but at 16mos we still use the playpen for safe confinement, naps, etc.
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  • nanabanana06nanabanana06
    We do lots of supervised independent play. Stick him in the same room with toys and let him play while you do other things. Showers I normally take before we get up. Cooking is normally done with a baby on my back. Same with most cleaning. Babywearing is great to have a clingy baby where they want to be while you do things like dishes or vacuum.
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  • ASmallWonderASmallWonder member
    CTGirl30 said:
    My youngest is 9mo. I'm not a SAHM but we don't leave him unattended for 30-45 minutes in another room. He will play independently for that long, in the same room as us, though. I would shower either before he wakes in the AM, during nap, or at night when your H is around. Or use a PnP with some soft toys inside for safe containment - for like a quick10 min shower. Cooking dinner? I'd put him in the Excersaucer & bring him into the kitchen with me or place him within view in his high chair with toys / snacks (giving food? He needs to be in your sight). You don't want a crawling baby loose underfoot in the kitchen while cooking so again, safe containment is key.

    Same here.
    Formerly known as elmoali :)

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  • insertclevernameinsertclevername member
    We have an open floor plan, so I can see the living room and dining room from the kitchen. I would leave DS1 in the baby octagon while I cooked dinner because I could see him the whole time.

    I don't think that I would be comfortable having a baby out of sight for more than a few minutes unless they were napping.
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  • rovingminstrelrovingminstrel member
    Sorry, I should've added details. We live in a one-bedroom loft apartment, so have a very open layout. Anywhere I am in the house, I can peek around a wall or curtain and check on her, and I do every minute or two (unless I'm showering, which I've tried to do while she's in her pack 'n' play within sight of the shower). She's happy for a very long time (30-45 mins) unless she sees me. She's 24lbs, and I'm 17wks pregnant, so babywearing at this point is not really an option.

    She's not really crawling yet, so I don't have to chase her around in the room yet to keep her from papers or cords. But I've had a couple people suggest that she's not crawling because I always give her everything the second she starts to fuss. They say I'm too protective and rescue her too much. That's the advice I'm coming from - but maybe that is the minority opinion...
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  • littlestjerrylittlestjerry member
    9 months was pure heaven for us in terms of getting shit done. I plopped his butt in a jumper, and he would jump happily for like an hour. It's how I was able to read the Hunger Games trilogy.

    But seriously, stick him in an exersaucer or jumper and put him in whatever room you're in. Best of both worlds. 



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  • skellysmomskellysmom member
    I can leave Skelly watching a show on the iPad but I usually bring Emme in the bathroom with me and she spends that time opening the shower curtain a million times and soaking the floor :/ -- I prefer to shower at night. 
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  • dashofrealitydashofreality member

    I think the problem is that sometimes it seems like we are 'suppose' to be constantly interacting with our kids. If I don't get in 10,000 words a day they won't be as verbal and reach their IQ potential. Or something dumb like that. You don't need to constantly play with your baby. She will probably like some quiet time too. You can get things done, it is ok.

    You will quickly realize this when you have the second and you don't have a choice. I honestly think my second is better off with me having hovered as much with him.

    I wouldn't leave the baby out of eyesight unless in a pack n play or restrained, but I am jaded by my son who started trying to kill himself at 10 months. But you can take a shower during nap and if your baby wakes up early and cries for a few minutes, it will be ok.

    DD Nov 2010 ~ DS June 2012
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  • rovingminstrelrovingminstrel member
    Thanks so much for your replies and help! It sounds like it's a bit of common sense and trial and error. :-)
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