Parenting while in school

Jags8 · March 2014

Hello! I usually hang out on BOTB and BNB, but I wanted to pop in here since most (everyone?) is a parent already.

My question is, did anyone here have a baby while one parent was still in school? My DH recently got out of the military and is now going back to school on the GI Bill, and also working part time. He still has 3 semesters left after this. He has really bad baby fever, but I've been trying to be reasonable/responsible and hold off until we could meet some financial goals (our only debts are my student loan and our house, but we wanted to beef up our savings).

Our tentative plan was to wait until September to start trying because even if I got pregnant right away, he would only have one semester left. But now we are suddenly much much closer to our financial goal, and I don't know if I want to wait much longer. DH is ready to go for it whenever I decide I am ready too.

So basically, has anyone had a baby while one parent was still in school? Was it okay? Was it really difficult and do you wish you would have waited?

MamaAllison · March 2014

I'm a Patenting Lurker but we had DD1 while DH finished his MBA (full time at a top ten school, so high expectations, yada yada). It was actually a pretty awesome time to have a baby. He was around for a lot more of the day to day stuff and I think it was easier to bond with DD1 than it has been for him with DD2 now that he works full time (but that could also be because we have DD1 who he is more focused on while I am mostly focused on DD2.)

Also being on student health insurance was nice, one big bill but then everything was covered. With this one it has been so many bills, we didn't really know what to expect as much.

Good luck!

RondackHiker · March 2014

DS was a surprise while dh was in med school.

It was and continues to be hard. We had to live completely off my salary while he was in school. There was no way he could work while in school.

While we took student loans to pay his tuition, my salary also had to cover the cost of board exams (holy fúck expensive) and travel for residency interviews. Dh was really busy and that was hard at times. I had to do most stuff (parenting, cooking, cleaning, errands, etc) on my own.

Obviously we wouldn't change it because DS is incredible, but it was hard.

Now if your financial situation is different or the schooling not as intense, things would be easier.

shadypines · March 2014

Yes
yes
No

GL

billybumbler · March 2014

I got pregnant while I was getting a masters degree and working full time. It was hard at the end of the pregnancy working all day and going to classes 2-3 nights a week. When DD was born I was on mat leave for six months so I did only school. I had to be very organized to do my coursework during the one afternoon a week when my mom would watch DD. I was hard, but doable.

wiggyslilsis · March 2014

I am working on my Bachelor's degree online right now and then will be getting my Master's at a university.

It is difficult to find the time but it is worth it to me.

SpaceGirlSpiff · March 2014

I was in school when I got pregnant with DS, as a part-time student (also worked full time)....he was born in September 2011 so I took two semesters off at that point (that fall and then the spring), and then all of summer...so I went back a full year after he was born, and I'm still going even now....I usually take 2 classes per semester, sometimes 3 if they're less challenging classes or one can be online...and I usually do not attend summer classes since those can be pretty demanding..... sure, it is taking me longer to complete school, but that's just the sacrifice I have to make and I'm at peace with that. I am lucky that I'm already in a secure job within my field that I plan to stay with even beyond the degree as long as I'm compensated appropriately, so ...I'm not in a giant rush or under pressure to finish ASAP.

I am planning to TTC #2 starting next month...the ideal is that I'll be due during the spring semester of next year, so that'll be the only semester I have to take off, and I can still attend this coming fall.... course this is barring any issues, so there's some risk involved... depends on the due date. But I can skip one semester without jeopardizing my enrollment, so my hope is that's all I'll need to do.

It can certainly be tough, but it's doable to be a student and parent.

ks3pink · March 2014

I had DD my senior year of high school so I completed all of college while raising her. I realize now with my boys that I did miss more than I'd like to admit with her but it was for the best.

My DH has been back in school since we started trying for what ended up being our twins. He should finish in December but will only have an associates degree. It's taken him almost as long to get this far with working full time and helping at home as it would normally take someone to get a bachelors degree. But he can do so much with an associates in computer engineering and he plans to move on to classes for his bachelors degree soon after graduation.

I won't lie with two little ones and a medium one at home it has been tough on me. He works 24 hour shifts and goes to school and was working part time at the college as a with study in the IT dept up until a couple weeks ago. I am soooooo looking forward to him getting this degree and securing a Monday-Friday job. It will be so worth it in the end! GL!

Jags8 · March 2014

Thank you everyone for taking the time to share your honest thoughts and experiences! It definitely gives us some things to consider.

@Spooko‌ I agree that that having DH be the one in school could be easier than me being the one in school.

@Regal Mama those are good things to consider. If we did get pregnant right away, we should be okay because we've really increased our savings the last few months. And if we waited til fall and discovered we were having issues, I feel like we still have plenty of time to figure something out.

As for his schooling, he is in school ft earning his Associates to become a paramedic/fire fighter. He doesn't seem to be struggling with the program right now, and seems to really enjoy it.

Again, thank you everyone for sharing!

colliebabe · March 2014

I had DD while getting my M. Ed. I got pregnant in January and took classes in the spring and summer, then had DD during the fall semester. I actually still took a class that semester and only missed one class - I went back when DD was two weeks old. Both my husband and my mom were really big helpers.

Honestly even though DD was a newborn and I was sleep deprived, I found it easier because she was immobile. I am taking another online course now and it's so hard trying to get anything done with a crazy toddler running around and trying to push all the buttons on the computer whenever I am trying to do school work.

ETA: I was also working full time.

minervacullen · March 2014

Both of us were in school when we had DS. I was going to school full time and working part time. DH was working FT and school PT. He was also in the military and started school later than normal. We were 25 and 26 then. I took the semester he was due off. That was the right thing to do because I had a terrible recovery, something you can't predict. I finished when he was 2. DH and I tried to work and take classes alternating schedules, but when we didn't we had plenty of help watching DS from family and friends.
It was time consuming at times, but not anything that was totally overwhelming.

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