Feeling guilty...venting

jonahsma · March 2014

I feel as if I havent been giving support like I should.

I have noticed ALOT of new loss moms lately and I havent been giving support like I had been. and I feel bad.

I have also felt like taking a bump break.. I sit here and wonder if getting on TB is causing me more harm than good. I also feel like if I take a break that I could be losing out on helping a momma cope with her grief.

I feel like a weirdo because it feels like everytime I see an intro it makes me sick to my stomach and reality hits..

I think i am wanting to "forget" .. i think im in denial

does this make sense? has anyone else felt similiar?

princezjk · March 2014

***Sig Warning***

I have definitely felt the same way and can relate to how you feel. I think everyone's grief journey is different at different times. If a TB breaks is what feels right, you should do it. And if you start a break and can't stay away, well that is fine too. ((((Hugs))))

stefuge · March 2014

I can relate to a lot of what you are saying. It is hard to see the new loss moms introing and as much as I want to be here to support them, some days I avoid those posts cause it's just too hard. I also have days where I go on PAL before coming here, just cause I need something more positive. But then there are also those days where this board is the only place I want to be because it feels like the only place I can really share my thoughts. If you need a break, there is no harm in that. And we will be here if/when you come back. ((hugs))

Jellybean71514 · March 2014

I just want to say I understand how you feel and relate to what stefuge said bc I too have visited the PAL board to remind myself there is light at the end if we hold onto faith and that is the path we choose after this. Your words on my post meant a lot to me so I want to personally thank you : )

bunnybun4 · March 2014

I have found that somedays I am in a great place to open the intros and offer support...other days I can't even open them. I think it is a normal part of the grief process. If you feel as though you need to take a break then I would take care of myself and do it. ((hugs))

lrichmond86 · March 2014

I've taken many bump breaks. I feel I always came back better able to help new loss moms. If you need a break take it and don't feel guilty. Helping others is wonderful but taking care of yourself is what's most important.

veetveet · March 2014

Nothing wrong with a break. I need them sometimes... from all of the support sites I visit. There will always be someone here to be supportive.... don't worry. Do what you need to do to make YOU feel better!

MCH77 · March 2014

Jellybean71514 said:
I just want to say I understand how you feel and relate to what stefuge said bc I too have visited the PAL board to remind myself there is light at the end if we hold onto faith and that is the path we choose after this. Your words on my post meant a lot to me so I want to personally thank you : )

After my first loss I would intentionally look up old posts (1+ year) on TTCAL to see all the siggys. By that point many of the girls would have had babies or be pg. It gave me hope. Of course I never posted on them, just wanted to see the siggys.

Do what you need to do to help yourself heal. This board will always be here for you. ((Hugs))

Xath · March 2014

***siggy warning; pregnancy mentioned***

I've been feeling the same way recently. Especially as my current pregnancy gets closer and closer to my loss milestone with Eleanor, I've had a harder time coming here without emotional difficulty. I don't think anyone will judge you for needing a break and space. As much as we all value the support of other loss moms, we also know that sometimes it's just too hard to go relive our own experiences through someone else's loss.

Take all the time you need; come back when you can.

mingaling2 · March 2014

@jonahsma I have been taking a little break myself. My therapist said that there is a thing called "grief fatigue" and it helps to take a little mental break every once in a while.

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