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My MIL is driving me insane...

EmmaOliviasMommyEmmaOliviasMommy member
in Two Under 2
Long story short, we live with my mil because of financial reasons. Lately, I feel like she's trying to take over. Every time my girls cry, she comes running...and that's fine that she's trying to help, but she literally takes my baby away from me like I'm incapable. Tonight my little one woke up and was bawling her eyes out. So I was sitting on the couch with her, rocking her, playing music to relax her, and giving her a pacifier. My mil rushed out of her room, grabbed the baby, and took her to her bedroom. Literally without even asking, or saying anything to me at all. When she came back, she questioned me, asking if I was pregnant (which I'm 110% not) and then gave me my daughter.

I don't wanna be unappreciative of her helping me, I just feel like she thinks I'm not capable of calming my own child. What would you do? Am I overreacting?
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Re: My MIL is driving me insane...

  • daisy662daisy662 member
    You firmly tell her thank you for your help but I've got this when she tries to take her. She is acting like this because you are allowing it. It's your kid, you make the rules. Oh, and move out, you are an adult with a child you need to figure out how to take care of your family on your own now. Good luck!
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  • RosebeanRosebean member
    And failing the polite advice, you could always just go follow her where she goes and physically take your LO back. I have had to pull my kid out of my mom's arms when she insists on holding him when he is upset. I just reach right in a peel him right out. Problem solved.
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  • SusanC111SusanC111 member
    I don't understand how she can take her if you're holding her. You see her coming, just turn away or say no. It's your baby, don't let anybody take her out of your arms if you don't want them to.
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  • gigantangigantan member
    I wonder why she feels the need to take over? Do you or did you do something that gave her the impression that you are not capable? Also, where is your DH in this scenario? What is his take on his mother's actions? If you do not feel comfortable standing up to your MIL, could he talk to her?
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  • jessalynn521jessalynn521 member
    I would just lay it out there. this is your baby and YOU have every right to tell her that you have it under control. I have been in a place where we had to stay with family for a few months, it doesn't mean you aren't doing all you can to take care of your family.

    I hope something gives for you and you can get your MIL to leave you to take care of your children.
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  • desertmouse39desertmouse39 member
    This is hard.  I had a lot of these issues with my MIL who came to stay for over a month when my first was born and I had this awful sense of obligation (to both grandmothers) and not wanting to be seen as a bitch and keep the family peace - but it was very disruptive, and ended up being one of my biggest regrets about the first few months of my daughter's life.  I tried to put boundaries in place and my MIL (and to a lesser extent, my own mother) just steamrolled right over them with their sense of entitlement to MY child.  Hubby was NOT a big help.

    This time around I am gearing up to be a bitch, to be in control of my house and my family and my baby (both of them) and not put anyone else's feelings first.  You probably need to get out of her home, but in the meantime, tell her kindly but firmly that her actions are not OK.
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