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October 2013 Moms
Jalee85
member
For those who are unsure about CIO
Jalee85
member
I really want to bring up my recent experience. I decided to try @kimbo1216 's Ferber type method the other day. D has been having the most horrible sleep. I have serious sleep problems, and I promised myself that I would teach her how to sleep well. Being an insomniac has seriously limited my life so much. I do not want this for my daughter. I was getting maybe an hour of sleep a night for the last 2 weeks, and I was starting to get migraines. It was getting serious. I'm not a fan of letting my child cry, but I knew that the end result would be in the best interest of my child.
ETA - some of the board discussions I read
https://community.babycenter.com/post/a17029065/using_ferber_sleep_method_baby_vomits
So basically I did 10 minute intervals. The first 10 minutes she had only been crying for a 1 minute and just fussing the other 9. When I went in there she got way worse. I would go in there and pat her, but let me tell you it is so hard to see your baby crying and not pick them up. Basically every time I went in there I upset her even more. The only time she stopped crying was when I first opened the door.
When I hit my 4th check I went in there and patted her and I noticed her shirt was wet. So I moved her a little bit, and there was 2 huge piles of milk vomit on either side of her head. At this point she had been crying for 30 minutes, and I decided that I was DONE. I had never looked into the whole what happens if they vomit deal. Honestly, I didn't give a shit. I was going to hold my baby and she DID go to bed with me.
The next day I decided to look up this whole vomit issue. Let's be real if it happened once it will happen again. I ran into a lot of forums where this was being discussed. Most Ferber proponents say leave them where they lay and IGNORE it! Other suggestions where leave them where they lay but change the sheets and never talk to them. Let's be real my daughter vomited so much her head was covered in vomit. I had to give her a bath. Then there were the "If your baby throws up from crying don't feed them". Many people said that by picking up our babies we just taught them to manipulate us by puking so they can get what they want. Fuck that my near 5 month old did not puke just to be held. Okay sorry but I thought you only did CIO when all there needs have been met. If my child has vomited the entire contents of her stomach her needs are not met.
I've really gone back and forth on sharing my experience here. I feel like a horrible mother. I know in my head I was trying to do what was best for her, but my heart just aches thinking about it. So my point of posting this is to just share my experience, and warn other mothers of what can happen. Are you prepared to leave your baby to cry to the point that they vomit? If they do vomit are you prepared to either ignore it, or offer no comfort of any sort? Once they vomited are you prepared to not meet their needs via feeding them, because they will just vomit again/
Now I know not every child will vomit, but this was my experience. I certainly don't have the heart for it. If any of you out there read this and don't have the heart to do it either. Maybe don't even bother trying. This is just my opinion, but I wanted to share it.
Flame if you must, but trust me I already feel like the worst Mom in the world.
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Re: For those who are unsure about CIO
That is where reading the whole book of any sleep training method is useful before trying it out. Also, sleep training is just like any other parenting topic, where people try things that run the gamut from amazing to extremely disturbing. That is why I try not to take parenting advice that I read on forums as absolute truth--especially when it is written by people who I don't have a baseline trust level with.
As I said the other day, we did ferber's graduated intervals sleep training about two weeks ago to get away from the 5-6 wakings/screaming sessions a night down to two calm feeding sessions. If he ever did crazy crying, I would go in and settle him. But when he was just fussing, I let him fuss, and he usually just fell back to sleep eventually.
There was certainly no vomiting!! After three nights, we moved into a usually two night wakings/eatings and occasionally one night waking/eating. It has made everybody in our household, including our baby, so much happier and better rested. He wakes up in the morning now full of smiles, instead of all crazed like he used to when he was waking up 6 times a night.
We did the same thing with our daughter when she was 4.5 months and it worked great for her to break the 5-6 wake up patterns. My kids just apparently don't naturally learn to sleep longer blocks of time without parental intervention...and it has worked well for us.
Sorry the method that you tried didn't work for you! Honestly, it sounds bizarre that you read you should leave babies in their own vomit. It sounds like maybe you should read a few books about healthy sleep habits and see what works for your child and your family.
Almost every baby book I have read was pointless, and I could of learned the exact thing from reading on-line. I just think that this method is not for us. She went from just fussing to hysterical right away.
Just because you found some random people on the Internet say to leave babies in their own vomit, that doesn't mean that all sleep training is bad or that the real methods, as expressed by the experts who wrote the books, are crazy.
1. My DD NEVER threw up
2. I have said time and time again that I recommend reading a sleep training book in its entirety before trying it or researching sleep (what I did) a ton before hand (not just reading forums). Follow the whole method. Know what you are doing and why. This is important IMO for successful sleep training.
3. In your case, I probably would have cleaned up the vomit and started over. But honestly, using a CIO method for one night is not always a good indicator of it will or will not work for you. It takes committing fully to know for sure. I do believe that those that commit fully and are consistent will have more success than those that don't. Again. Just my opinion. I have never once claimed to be an expert.
That being said. We are on day 3 of sleep training DD2. She is responding to it well. I have noticed her naps are already improving and she's happier throughout the day.
In all of my sleep training posts, I recommend three books that I know some have had success with. I highly recommend looking at the two non-CIO methods I recommended if you think a Ferber (like) method is not for you. Again. Please purchase and read the book so you know why you are doing what you are doing.
I wish you the best of luck and hope you find something that works for you.
I'm not trying to pick on you. I promise. And Ihope you find ssomething that works. DS is a terrible sleeper and its miserable so I can deft understand the frustration and exhaustion. If CIO is something you want to try again, arm yourself with as much complete info as you can. Hang in there hun
I'm sorry this happened to you, but I don't think it's typical. I agree with others, read a book cover to cover then formulate a plan. Don't try anything willy nilly.
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In regards to the people who are saying I should of read the whole book. Most websites that I read all said that it wasn't necessary to buy the book. They pretty much out-lined it. I now realize that not reading the whole book was a mistake. I still stand behind this thought process. If your child has vomited simply cleaning up the vomit and putting them back to bed is not meeting their "needs". A child who vomits now has an empty stomach and will be hungry. If you feed and put back to bed and they escalate again they will most likely vomit again. So this whole idea just seems messed up in our particular situation.
@SnoopyLuv while she cried more it was a different kind of cry. She was screaming so bad she was shrilling there is no way I could not at all go in there. I watched her almost the whole time on the monitor, but didn't notice her vomiting. I only came in every 10 minutes. If I wouldn't have gone in she would of been sleeping in vomit. So this is why this method may not be right for us.
I didn't know you could lend books! That would be very helpful if you don't mind.
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