Babies 21 months apart...help!

lu115 · March 2014

Can anyone out there offer me some advice on having babies close together. I just found out I am pregnant and my first just turned a year old. I am nervous and scared. I want two children...I always have, but my mind is starting to go overboard with negative thoughts. I have heard that it is best to have babies close together for lots of reasons and have also heard that its really, really hard because the first is still too small to understand what is going on and is still not independent enough. I am also a working mom who has to keep working. Are there any tips you can offer this scared mommy?

LimaD · March 2014

You might want to check out the "Two under 2" board, they should be able to give you some advice and words of encouragement! GL and Congrats!

jllmb79 · March 2014

Mine are 21 months apart. In the beginning it was great to have help to play with DD#1 while I adjusted to nursing and cuddling with DD#2. We kept with DD#1's schedule and I have slowly tried to guide DD#2 into DD#1's schedule. I try to give them both one on one time when ever I can.

I bought a second crib and a double stroller.

I think I have things under control...I would like a 3rd

ashiscute · March 2014

Mine are 19.5 mos apart and I really love it. Yes it was hard at first but I truly cannot imagine a situation where the transition wouldn't be difficult. My DD was really not jealous when DS was born but she wasn't a huge help either. Once he got a bit older she would bring diapers and toys and whatnot. I depended on my DH a lot and family also.

Like PP I also bought a second crib (she was not climbing out and I was not giving her the freedom!) and a double stroller. I baby wore A LOT when DS was little. We kept DDs schedule the same and I worked hard to get them on the same nap schedule for my own sanity. Now they are 3 and 18 mos and best friends. They play together all of the time and have a lot of the same interests.

It's definitely scary finding out but try not to focus on what other people say the best age difference is for kids. There isn't a right answer to that question. Good luck!

LittleApple · March 2014

MIne youngest are 19 months apart and I was freaked too. It wasn't as bad as I thought.

momofmanyinthemitten · March 2014

#1 and #2 are 25 mos apart and #2 and #3 will be 14 mos apart. It was hard for about a week at first, but then after a couple of weeks we got into a routine and haven't looked back. DD and DS enjoy playing together and I'm hoping that their great relationship will help with the transition of adding #3 to the family. My double BOB stroller was/is my best friend. My neighbor who is in his 90's and has 3 kids told me, "You know, I've had a lot of time to think about it, and the way you're having your kids close together is the best way to do it." So there you have it-words of wisdom from a happy old man.

dashofreality · March 2014

Stupid bump won't let me quote - I agree completely with @ashiscute. Mine are 19 months apart, also a working mom, family doesn't live close, moved when baby was 6 months. Yes, there have been some times that I really struggled in the last year and a half, but mostly that is just having a new baby, and I have a crazy son that gets into everything. Not going to lie there will be some rough times, but I wouldn't change it and my kids are super close right now.

I would look at some help around 6 weeks, 4 months, and 6 months. That is when most people seem to struggle. Hardest thing for me was that when the baby keeps you up all night, you can't nap when they do. Work hard on overlapping naps as soon as possible. I recommend a carrier, it was a lifesaver when my DD was potty training and I had a 6 month old. I also invested in the double stroller. You will realize when you have two, what being busy is, but it will become the new normal and will be great.

hmontty · March 2014

Mine are the same apart -- I found out I was pregnant with DS two weeks after DD's first birthday.

It hasn't been an issue for us at all. Seriously. In fact, they are now best friends (3 and 15 months). It was a little trying in the beginning just because of lack of sleep from the newborn, but once my DS turned like 8 months, things got a lot easier...and even in the beginning, it was totally manageable.

Now that DD is almost 3 and potty trained and really able to do a lot for herself, and DS is now walking, things are actually pretty easy.

And this is coming from a mom who works full-time from home as a freelancer while also raising two kids almost by herself (husband works long hours).

ktpaladino · March 2014

My babies are 21 months apart! And my little one is just 6 weeks old right now. I was just as nervous about it as you but it has not been as bad as I thought. The hardest thing has been figuring out ways to keep DS out of trouble while I am sitting down to breastfeed. Sometimes I hear him digging in the trash or have to watch him pour yogurt all over the carpet while I'm feeding the baby. The best advice I can give is to just laugh and let it go when you have those moments. It only took a week or two to fall into a routine that works for us. Develop a strong support system before the baby arrives- enlist family and friends to come help with meals and grocery shopping, cleaning, and watching the kids even if only for an hour so you can get a nice nap. I do have moments where I need to just cry because of the stress and anxiety, but overall I am loving it. Lots of people do it and you'll be fine too!

deebride1020 · March 2014

I have 2 under 2. 18mo apart and it is not easy and very stressful but IT IS manageable. They say that the second is easier and my second is an angel not sure if its bc Im used to having a lo already or just luck. On hard days I just tell myself that they will be buddies as they get older and hopefully get along really well. Plus youll breeze through everything bc you've recently been through it already.

Caseyk1127 · March 2014

My 2 are 14 months 1 day apart. Not going to lie it was hard at first. DS learned to walk the day after DD was born, I work full-time, and DH travels Mon-Fri every week!!!! DD had severe colic the first 5 months of her life ... Once that went away and we got into our groove it became quite easy and manageable. They are now 2 1/2 & 1 1/2 and are BFFs ... In fact they freak out if one is "missing" lol.

cassielynn121412 · March 2014

youll be okay im in the same situation but my 1st is 15 months old right now im not due til august 18th so i have a little while but its hard im not going to lie i go to school and raise my little one and grow one inside of me just as long as you have support from you family youll be just fine and dont be afraid to ask for help that way you dont put to much stress on the baby that you are creating.
good luck:)

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