Worried Mom

notthecheat · March 2014

So far MIL has been coming over to babysit LO so I can sleep. Today was the first day I watched her drive away with my little girl. She said she needed to get some stuff done at her house.

I'm afraid she will take LO on her first walk like I asked her not to do and lie to me and say she didn't.
I'm afraid she's not up to date with all of her baby care or she will trip and drop LO (she has trouble with her hip sometimes).

So many other scenarios run through my head. I know LO is almost surely going to be OK, and I do trust my MIL to take care of her, its just.....

....now I understand all the "silly" worrying that moms do.

notthecheat · March 2014

@Cambury108‌ now I know why/how you were a little sad when your son spent the night away

notthecheat · March 2014

Thanks @MamaCBear‌ its just missing her and being sad and worried that I can't be there to make sure she's OK and to make her happy

thebobloblaw · March 2014

I get it too. My MIL sent me a picture of her sleeping on the couch, which isn't great but that's where she passed out I guess (she loves looking up at our curtains). But I found myself worrying nonstop after that that she would walk away from her thinking she was fine, when she has been rolling and turning herself in the crib for weeks now.

SusanC111 · March 2014

I worry about everything also. I get it. But here's another silly question--why hasn't LO been on a walk yet? Are you in one of the horrible snowy areas? I just ask because I would lose my sanity if I haven't been walking these babies around.

TXmamatobe · March 2014

What do you mean by first walk?

notthecheat · March 2014

Its been pretty cold. DH wants to be there too and he works six days a week so by the time he gets home its dark and getting colder. Last Sunday (his day off) we were both exhausted from the GS and the Sunday before that his back really hurt and before that its been really cold. I'm itching to take her out but it always seems like there's an issue.

BootsOrHearts · March 2014

I get it. Can you tell her you aren't comfortable with her watching her away from your house? I think that's reasonable.

notthecheat · March 2014

I've taken her out of doors in a carrier on the back porch and down our street, and driven her places, but not on a real "walk." I told MIL it seems silly to me that its important that I be there for her first walk, but I think because she was in the NICU and I didn't give her her first meal or bath or diaper change or clothing change, etc. It means a lot to me.

74dragonfly · March 2014

sventurarn said:
Its been pretty cold. DH wants to be there too and he works six days a week so by the time he gets home its dark and getting colder. Last Sunday (his day off) we were both exhausted from the GS and the Sunday before that his back really hurt and before that its been really cold. I'm itching to take her out but it always seems like there's an issue.

Take her on a walk. WaiTing is silly and it is so good for you both. Your first walk as a family will be your first walk as a family and will be special.

TXmamatobe · March 2014

sventurarn said:
I've taken her out of doors in a carrier on the back porch and down our street, and driven her places, but not on a real "walk." I told MIL it seems silly to me that its important that I be there for her first walk, but I think because she was in the NICU and I didn't give her her first meal or bath or diaper change or clothing change, etc. It means a lot to me.

Makes perfect sense!

notthecheat · March 2014

BootsOrHearts said:
I get it. Can you tell her you aren't comfortable with her watching her away from your house? I think that's reasonable.

My mom has had her over and I've been totally fine with that. I think its because my mom is younger, more cautious, and because she's my mom. We think more alike so I know LO is being cared for similarly. MIL has a more laid back approach ("oh she'll be fine") and has different ways of thinking and doing things. She's mentioned little things here and there that I disagree with like "babies cry. Its just what they do. It exercises their lungs." "You might have to use formula in order to get some sleep" "I kept feeding her to get her to be quiet." So I worry.

ETA but overall I trust her and I feel its good for LO. I've seen her interacting with LO and she's always been good, so I feel its silly to worry but I do

notthecheat · March 2014

I know I'm going to eventually have to leave her at daycare, then school, etc. So I feel like its a good first step

notthecheat · March 2014

superspecialsnowflake said:

MamaCBear said:

superspecialsnowflake said:
So, to ask the silly question... Why is LO with someone you don't trust?
She says right in the second to last paragraph that she does trust her.

yes, she does, bur she also says that she thinks MIL is going to disobey her instructions, lie to her about it, be ignorant of some of the newer rules of childcare, and potentially (accidentally) cause harm to LO. Those aren't "mommy worries," those are valid and specific concerns.

MIL has a "she'll be fine" approach and I can totally see her thinking its silly to wait until after her first walk with mommy and taking her on a walk thinking that what I don't know won't hurt me. That I can take her on what I think will be her first walk later and everyone will be happy.

I can see her saying "I did that with my children and they turned out fine"

She has trouble with her hip sometimes and always walks slow and like its an effort for her, but she doesn't trip more than anyone else. My brain is just on a roll and running wild.

lifesaverz · March 2014

sventurarn said:
Thanks @MamaCBear‌ its just missing her and being sad and worried that I can't be there to make sure she's OK and to make her happy

I completely understand. We're their mothers & our instinct is to care for our babies. It's hard to let go & let someone else come in & do that. And no matter how much you trust them, you know they won't be "you".

notthecheat · March 2014

I finally got to sleep and LO came back in one piece and happy to see me.

Thanks for letting me air my worried mind. I felt much more relaxed about it when I woke up so I think being tired was part of it.

Cambury108 · March 2014

sventurarn I sympathize with you 100%. Its only the first of many "worries". Its what good moms do. I have never in my life before having kids looked at a single room and been able to pick out every hazard their is. HUGS!! Feel free to message me whenever.

Ktrue85 · March 2014

I could overlook most of the petty reasons why most moms hate leaving LO with someone else... But you just said you don't trust her, and that she has bad hips and may DROP THE BABY. How in the world did you not tell her no?? No way I'm leaving Jack with someone physically incapable of carrying him.

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