(nbr) WWF14D? XP from Parenting

Giraffealaff · March 2014

So my H's family is all spread out. His youngest brother lives with his F in Georgia.

Yesterday we were informed that H's grandmother (who lives in our town) was admitted to the hospital. She is 86, and it doesn't look all that great, TBH. SO the family calls BIL and lets him know what is going on and BIL makes arraignments to come up here with his F. I invite them to stay in our house in our spare guest room (we live in a mother/daughter and H's parents live in the downstairs apartment). The only request I have is that they do not bring their dogs ( a yorkie and a mastiff mix). I explained that between the baby, the dog we already have, and everyone being in and out of the house, etc that it would be too much and I was uncomfortable with it. He agreed to find arrangements.

This morning I get a text from him saying that he talked to MIL and that the dogs are staying downstairs. This is a huge problem for me as the baby stays downstairs when being babysat, and with everything happening we spend a lot of time down there. Last time they brought the dogs they pretty much left my MIL (62, heart problem, etc) to care for the dog/walk them/etc. Yes, technically they are separate upstairs/downstairs apartments however we very much live open floor plan - that is to say H and I come and go freely in theirs and they do the same in ours. MIL didn't know that I had already spoken to BIL, had she then she would not have agreed to it. I should add that MIL was very reluctant to agree to it, but BIL basically did what he had to in order to guilt her into it. Ultimately, once I talked to MIL and FIL we all agreed that having them come up with their two dogs was going to be too much on us all.

We have a full nursery in both apartments, and as much as I would like MIL to watch him upstairs, it's not really fair to ask of her as getting up and down the stairs can be very tough on her sometimes.

I'm very upset that despite our conversation they still went ahead and decided to being the dogs. I asked if they could please kennel the dogs to which they replied "No, we are already spending 400.00 to come up there". I don't see how that is my problem. Had the situation been reversed, H and I would do what is necessary (kennel the dogs, find a sitter, worst case scenario H would go without me until arrangements could be made, etc)

How do I handle this situation without being a cunt?

I mean I know they are coming up on short notice, and l know the reason they are coming is not a joyus one but I do feel that we should not be obligated to house their animals, especially with so much else going on in our household.

djtippietoes · March 2014

Can you talk to them about the dogs being their responsibility and not your MILs because she'll be upstairs with the baby?

Giraffealaff · March 2014

She won't be upstairs with the baby, if anything the baby goes downstairs and stays with MIL. I don't know, I guess I am just upset because this isn't the first time this has happened where they have had to bring the dogs to stay.

RondackHiker · March 2014

Bookshelves said:
A Yorkie-Mastiff mix? What's that like??

ETA ah, plural! Mobile reading fail. I was concerned for that poor Yorkie. @-)

If there was a yorkie-mastiff cross, I'd vote to follow the trend of giving mutts cutesy names and call it a Stiffie.

keags5496 · March 2014

Is there a pet friendly hotel nearby? Maybe you could explain to them your concerns and suggest they get a room there.

slwprincess · March 2014

I also was going to ask for pics of this Yorkie-mastiff mix!

How long will they be staying? If it's just a couple days, I'd say to just let them come but make it clear while they are there that this is no longer an acceptable situation. If it's an extended visit, then I would put my foot down and say that the dogs need to be kenneled or his FI should just stay home and care for them.

Giraffealaff · March 2014

keags5496 said:

Is there a pet friendly hotel nearby? Maybe you could explain to them your concerns and suggest they get a room there.

After suggesting boarding them up here locally BiL basically told us no because they were spending money to come up here and cant afford it - if they cant afford boarding they will not be able to afford a hotel.

MamaAllison · March 2014

I'd make an arrangement for the dogs to stay elsewhere and let him know that's what is going down if he is staying with you. Sorry he is being a d-bag.

Flyingtoast · March 2014

I'm sorry, you stated if they are to stay with you, they need to honor your request for the house. Clearly state, if they are going to stay in the house, the dogs will not.

I'm sorry they don't feel like they have the funds to board the dogs, but their dogs, their responsibility. That is not your responsibility, or MIL. If they can't afford it, then they need to find a solution. It's not your job to find a solution for their responsibility.

Even if they don't have the money to board them, most friends of theirs would step up if they heard the circumstance. Can a friend stay at their house, over the dogs going to the friends house? Or at least I would for a friend to see a dieing relative for the last time. If friends will not, it makes me question how the dogs were trained, and most curtantly should be in the house with a newborn in strange house.

JordyInIndy · March 2014

No dogs means no dogs. If he doesn't understand that then he doesn't need to stay at your place. Simple as that.

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