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Late Term and Child Loss
schulme2
member
Faith Friday
schulme2
member
** sorry so late! **
And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. - Romans 5: 2-5
Do you have hope now?
What do you hope for and what gives you hope?
Any new struggles/revelations this week?
And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. - Romans 5: 2-5
Do you have hope now?
What do you hope for and what gives you hope?
Any new struggles/revelations this week?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Faith Friday
Sometimes. Sometimes I am hopeful for the future and sometimes I'm still just really angry at God. I know that He's there and He cares, but it just still seems so unfair sometimes.
What do you hope for and what gives you hope?
I hope that there can really be a new normal. I don't think that Serenity would want us to let her loss leave us sad forever. I don't think she'd want us to forget her, but I don't think she'd want us to let it destroy us, either. Hope that we can someday find a balance there.
Any new struggles/revelations this week?
She's still gone. It sounds stupid, but part of me just hoped I could will her back, or argue enough with God that things would change. I actually shouted a request that he send me back in time. It sounds absolutely ridiculous right now, but in the moment it just made sense. I guess coming to terms with it is a good thing in the process.
After reading this, I hope I'm not bringing you mommas down. I do trust God and know that we can come through this, but today was not a great day and I'm not in a good place, at least for now. I'm sure that there are good days to come and don't let me get you down.
I have actually done similar - on a particularly rough night I was begging God to just give him back. That I knew it was impossible, but why not? ((Hugs))
I do feel like I am more and more hopeful. Hopeful for what this next year holds, hopeful for the future for our family.
What do you hope for and what gives you hope?
I hope we can be happy again. MH said to me this week that as much as Colton wouldn't want us to forget him, he also wouldn't want us to be sad forever. That God doesn't want this to destroy us and ruin our lives, but rather that we should grow stronger from this and live our lives. Truly and fully live. That's what I want.
Any new struggles/revelations this week?
I am anxious about getting too hopeful, actually. We are talking about buying a house, and getting more sure that we are going to try for another baby, and I feel anxious that these dreams will all be crushed as well. I trust God, but I have also learned that our plans do not always go as we think. I'm afraid to want and plan for these things too much.
@stefuge : hoping all goes well with the house hunting and starting a ttc journey again sometime soon.
Do you have hope now? Some days I'm so hopeful but then I feel stupid for even hoping. Like it doesn't matter what I want anyways.
What do you hope for and what gives you hope?
I hope for a future filled with love for Mary and honoring her memory in a positive way. I hope for a baby brother or sister for Walt & Mary. I hope that this TTC journey is easier than my first try. I just hope that I can learn to create a place for this pain and live a more positive life, a life that I always used to live.
No not particularly- feeling more lost than hopeful but I can say I'm trying.
What do you hope for and what gives you hope?
I'm trying to hope for my heart to feel lighter as time goes on, for the sun to shine again and that I gain acceptance eventually. My fiancé gives me hope, he has been trying to stay so positive for both of us and sometimes I feel guilty I can't do the same for him and that I'm bringing him down.
Any new struggles/revelations this week?
Today is one week since I lost my little boy. My fiancé and I went to see the movie 'Son of God' last night and I cried- I cried because I am angry with God but want so much to have hope and believe my son is in a safe place now with The Lord even if I feel I wasn't able to protect and keep him safe here. I'm struggling to find hope and see positive things ahead but getting in the shower every day has been a start at best for now.
I apologize if bringing anyone down on this post... today was just a hard day for me knowing it's been a week today since this all happened.
@stefuge and @schulme2 This makes me feel a little bit better. I feel like a nutcase admitting some of this stuff (even online). I first begged God to give her back, but that didn’t happen, so I asked for at least a little more time. Still didn’t happen (obviously). I’m sorry that you’ve experienced the same. It’s pretty crappy.
@stefuge I also can understand not wanting to be too hopeful. I feel like we have to live in some weird sense of balance with a firsthand understanding of tragedy and that trusting God really, truly, doesn’t mean that “everything will work out” (the way we want it to). I’ve known that in the past, but it really just makes it so incredibly real. I will be thinking of you while you are TTC and house hunting. We just bought a car (which seems like a small deal), but that’s something to be “excited” about.
@Jellybean71514 I really relate to feeling like you’re bringing your fiancé down. I am so used to being the upbeat, bubbly, optimistic one in our relationship and I’m just not feeling it. I don’t even talk near as much as I used to. I think it’s been stressful, but I’m grateful that it seems we both have men in our lives who have stepped up to the challenge. It does get better, slowly. I have still cried everyday, but I’ve had a few “okay” moments as well. They say that time will continue to make it easier, even if it doesn’t heal everything. Thinking of you.
What do you hope for and what gives you hope? I am hopeful for the opportunity to have another baby someday in the future and to have the chance to love and raise that baby. I am also hopeful for the day that I will some day see my precious boy again in heaven. I am also hopeful for the day where I will be to a place that I will be able to bless and love on other women who are going through hard things like this. I know that God is using this in my heart to make me more able to love and serve others in the future. Even though it is hard and it sucks and I do not believe that God caused my son's death, I know that He is a good God and that he can redeem this pain and suffering and use it for good in the future.
Any new struggles/revelations this week? Just realizing that this is a long process and that it is totally normal to feel like I'm making some progress and moving forward slowly, and then to suddenly feel like I'm back to square one again.... it's normal... sigh...