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Lack of excitment about my pregnancy

SkyThompsonSkyThompson member
in Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

I am 29 years old, pediatric RN and been married for 7 years. I recently found out I am pregnant, 5 weeks. I stop taking my birth control back in July/August, when my husband and I decided we wanted to TTC. I thought at the time I was ready for this. But now that it has happened, I am freaking out! I am moving to another state in a week. I had the interview of my career dreams a week ago (ironically, the same the day I found out I was pregnant). I guess my biggest fear with having a baby is that I will give up on my career, and my career is a huge part of my life.  I tried to talk to my husband about this, but he doesn't understand. He thinks I do not want to have children, and regret getting pregnant. He says things like "we will just give it up for adoption" and "I am so sorry I did this to you". I do want children, I just know how much having a baby affects the mother's life, positive and negative. I think some of this fear comes from the fact that my mom gave up her dreams when she found out she was pregnant with me, and married my dad. Same with my grandmother. All the women in my life are very traditional mothers and wives, I am not traditional. I don't know what to do. I feel that I have ruined this experience by having these feelings. I am nervous that I take this job, they will find out I am pregnant then let me go during the probation period for some other reason, which will really be because I am pregnant.

Am I the only one that feels this way? Can I have a career and a baby? how do I keep this from my future employer till I am ready to tell them?

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Re: Lack of excitment about my pregnancy

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  • oliversmommy32912oliversmommy32912 member
    It's normal to feel really scared when you first get pregnant. I tried for a year with my son. I wanted it more than anything. And I still freaked out when the test was positive. I kept wondering what we were thinking and dreading the life changes a baby would bring. I did learn to accept it but I didn't really ever feel truly excited about being pregnant. When my son was born he changed my whole life, but definitely for the better. I love him more than anything and find myself wondering if I will ever love the baby I'm carrying now as much as I love him. Give yourself time and grace. Babies are scary! But you will adapt and wonder how you could have ever lived without one.
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  • sschwegesschwege member
    Nicb13 said:
    oliversmommy32912 said:
    It's normal to feel really scared when you first get pregnant. I tried for a year with my son. I wanted it more than anything. And I still freaked out when the test was positive. I kept wondering what we were thinking and dreading the life changes a baby would bring. I did learn to accept it but I didn't really ever feel truly excited about being pregnant. When my son was born he changed my whole life, but definitely for the better. I love him more than anything and find myself wondering if I will ever love the baby I'm carrying now as much as I love him. Give yourself time and grace. Babies are scary! But you will adapt and wonder how you could have ever lived without one.

    I said that to my husband the other night and he looked at me all funny. I feel like I love my son so much and wonder how I will have room to love this kid just as much! haha
    I felt this way too, but it's true what they say, your love multiplies!
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  • g8trkimg8trkim member
    There's a lot going through your mind right now and your hormones are so out of whack. Don't feel guilty. Just take it one day at a time and things will work themselves out. As the pregnancy goes on you will start feeling more connected. I assure you that you will love this baby with all your heart. Try not to be so hard on yourself.




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  • twinkletoes3126twinkletoes3126 member
    I think your feelings are completely normal. I shared many of your feelings when we brought my son home from the hospital. However now I wouldn't change a darn thing! Give it time :)
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  • dufferoodufferoo member
    Pregnancy is the perfect 9 months to go work with a counselor! I've never been one to keep up with therapy long-term, but there have been times in my life I have gone to see a counselor to work through a specific challenge, and it is soo helpful to clarify your thoughts and feelings! I thnk this could be helpful in your situation.
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  • michelle615michelle615 member

    As other posts have said, you can have a career and be a mom.  And succeed at both. There is no reason you have to continue the tradition of staying at home if you don't want to.  I work FT and I love having both a career and my son.  I agree it's scary right now.  Part of it's the hormones, part of it is just knowing that your life will be different.  There is no reason to lie and say life won't be different, because it will be.  Before I had my son, I couldn't imagine what it would like to have a child.  And now that I have one, I can't imagine my life being what it was before.  I love it now, the good and the bad. 

    As far as your future provider goes, do what feels comfortable to you.  Obviously they should not let you go because they find out you are pregnant. Butm it wouldn't end up being my dream job if they counted a pregancy against me.  That may just be me, or maybe I have never found my dream job.  ;-)

    Hang in there Momma!  Maybe counseling could provide some much needed unbiased advice as well as help you help your husband understand that you aren't regreting this decision, but that you are just trying to reconcile it all in your head.

     

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  • emberlee3emberlee3 member
    I agree with PPs and wanted to add that I became depressed in both pregnancies during first trimester. It goes away in 2nd tri. Hormones are powerful. FWIW I am a happy working mother of 2.
    DS born 8/8/09 and DD born 6/12/12.
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  • DawnLillyDawnLilly member
    I said the entire time I was pregnant "I am a terrible pregnant woman but I am going to be a great mom." And I was right. I constantly second guessed getting pregnant and was pretty depressed for the duration. I was worried I would also have PPD but after he was born it was like a switched flipped. I love being a mom.
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